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How To Know & Build Premarital Compatibility?

Written and reviewed by
Dr. Niraj Singh Yadav 89% (12 ratings)
MBBS, MD-Psychiatry
Psychiatrist, Allahabad  •  9 years experience
How To Know & Build Premarital Compatibility?

The happiness of finally finding your soul mate and starting a new life altogether with your partner probably leaves you with exhilaration that knows no bounds. Deciding to opt for matrimony, however, takes a lot more than what we’d usually like to barter. Most people blindly enter into civil union without first demarcating their level of compatibility which is precisely why most marriages these days are falling apart. There’s a rather good chance that you might find yourself wondering how things could be any different later since you’re so much in love now. Unfortunately, the instances of marriages where things had started off looking rosy to everyone and ultimately shattered on the grounds of incompatibility are far too many to ignore. 

By discussing your expectations and desires, along with possible areas of conflicted ideologies helps you to understand each other better in the long run so that you may not unnecessarily complicate your relationship. Reflecting exercises generally go a long way in strengthening the bond and commitment in the long run. It is fatal to expect that, as individuals from possibly different backgrounds and definitely different histories, there is going to be a zero percent space for difference in opinions and ideals. 

In order to ascertain the level of compatibility before marriage, there are a number of things that you can engage in. To begin with, here are a couple of things that need to be looked into beforehand to ensure a long lasting relationship that functions on the solid grounds of mutual understanding and good faith: 

  1. Speak openly about each other’s background and how they were brought up (especially so if it’s an arranged marriage)
  2. Finance and future expectations need to be considered
  3. Expectations pertaining to family life and having children
  4. Your ultimate goals and ambitions, and see to it if they bring you on a point of conflict
  5. Medical complications, if any
  6. Your conceptions about your partner’s family and friends
  7. Social and recreational activities

Premarital counselling is another extremely viable option for the newly engaged couples or even the ones who are contemplating marriage. Always remember that there is more to a marriage than just the wedding ceremony and walking down the aisle. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!

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