Consult Online With India's Top Doctors
Common Specialities
Common Issues
Common Treatments

How Can You Deal With Extramarital Affair?

Written and reviewed by
Dr.Akshata Bhat 94% (2157ratings)
MBBS, MD - Psychiatry
Psychiatrist,  •  9years experience
How Can You Deal With Extramarital Affair?

The core asset values of a marriage are loyalty and trusting one another. When this integral part of marriage shakes, everything falls apart. As time passes, marriage dynamic changes. Boredom and monotonous routine, pressure from work and home makes a marriage stale. When marriage turns stale, people often look for some excitement in life. And that excitement can turn into an affair.

However, adultery is no longer a criminal offence in India. But it doesn’t take away from the emotional trauma, a spouse is going through.

How to Avoid an Extramarital Affair?

Developing feelings for someone other than their spouse is the biggest red flag. It is the time to pay some long due attention into the marriage. Attraction towards someone is the indicator that something is wrong in the marriage. So, before anything serious happens, start working towards making a better and married life.

Dealing with Extramarital Affair:

If someone’s spouse is having an extramarital affair, these are a few steps which can be followed to deal with the emotional trauma:

History: Look into the family history of the spouse. If one of the parents of the spouse had an extramarital affair, it may affect the child’s behavior.

Take Responsibility: Both spouses should take full responsibility. Offenders have to take responsibility for having an affair, and non-offender spouses have to take responsibility for indirectly contributing to the affair. Affairs cultivate in marriages that are dysfunctional in nature.

Mature Conversation: Each partner should be able to express their feelings and perspective to one another. However, the non-offender should be prioritized in this process as that is one who gets hurt the most.

Acknowledgement: Two people start an affair, an open talk about how it happened and what led to this will help both the spouses.

Don’t Take Revenge: Often couples deal with such a situation with a power struggle. If one spouse cheats and another gets to know about it, then as a coping mechanism, another couple also starts an affair. This is not a healthy and mature way to deal with such a situation. There is sheer anger and frustration over powers.

No Contact with Lover: If the offending spouse is remorseful and wants to make things better, offer him to cease any contact with the lover. This will help in building the trust again, which is the most important pillar of marriage.

Recollect Good Times: Every marriage has moments worth remembering. Going on a nostalgic trip with a spouse can help and encourage the couple to work through it. Couples will put in an effort to save their marriage.

Couples Therapy: It is a viable option for couples dealing with marital problems. It is recommended that even if couples do not have any marital issues, they should see a therapist. Therapy helps a couple develop a better understanding of each other.


Extramarital Affair is one of the most crucial and popular problems for nuclear families. It is very important for both parents to deal with this situation without compromising their child's personality and behavior. Nothing is more important than the children’s future for their parents. Parents should understand that kids are emotionally and mentally sensitive for their parents. Hence, parents should deal with these problems confidentially.

In case you have a concern or query you can always consult a specialist & get answers to your questions!
5620 people found this helpful