Counselling & Marriage - How Vital Is It?

While marriage is one of the most sought after relationships, it also is a very tricky one. A high level of compatibility is felt when you meet that one person with whom you are ready to spend the rest of your life with; sparks do fly and you feel you have just found the right person for you.

However, over a period of time, things do change. What was once cute or romantic does not continue to appeal the same way after a while. Knowing a person completely is an ongoing process, and even after marriage, especially if you move into a joint family. Knowing the person before beginning to live with the whole bunch is very important, as this helps in improving the understanding and increases the much required emotional space.

Not just that, people also do change with time and a relationship has to move to the next level too. Issues arise when people do not realise that and continue to expect things to remain unchanged rosy and romantic forever. What is surprising is that taking a step back and looking at the relationship objectively can help salvage the relationship in a number of cases.

The following are some situations when post-marriage counselling can be very helpful.
1. When silence reigns: When a couple who would spend hours on the phone chatting away resort to silence for a major part of their time spent together, it is time to revisit the relationship. Getting external help is one of the best ways to tackle this, as talking to a friend or a family member can help get some insight.

2. When the couple just coexists: After a while, there seems to be something lost between the two, with only the same physical space being the common factor. There is a clear lack of intimacy, which can be brought back by getting someone else to talk.

3. For the children’s sake, let’s stay together: Although children help in strengthening the bond of the couple, they should not be the only reason for a couple to stay together. For a child, staying with a single parent may be more beneficial than staying in a family where the couple is constantly fighting. Here again, external help may be useful.

4. When there is the ‘other’ person: After the charm of marriage wears out, it is common for either of the couples to look for a company outside the marriage. If an affair is being suspected, it is advisable to seek external help to clear the air and to save the relationship.

Marriage can easily be saved, the only thing required is a fresh pair of ears and eyes to hear and look at it from all perspectives.