Signs You Might Be In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship!

Physical abuse is easy to recognize, but emotional abuse in a relationship can be more insidious, often going undetected by family members, friends and even victims themselves.

Emotional abuse, which is used to gain power and control in a relationship, may take a number of forms, including but not limited to: insulting, criticizing, threatening, gaslighting, ridiculing, shaming, intimidating, swearing, name-calling, stonewalling, lying, belittling and ignoring. 

The scars of emotional abuse may not be visible to the eye, but the effect it has on the victim can be traumatic. Those who have been emotionally abused may later experience anxiety, depression, chronic pain, PTSD and substance abuse issues. 

1. You walk on eggshells to avoid disappointing your partner.

“You’re second-guessing and self-editing, which means you’ve internalized the subtly abusive behavior so that your partner doesn’t have to do it overtly.

2. Your partner uses gaslighting to maintain the upper hand in the relationship.

Your partner declares reality for you, denying or distorting how things really are, in order to shore up a perception that supports how they see things. Common ways that this can show up is being told, ‘You’re not remembering correctly,’ ‘I never said that’ or ‘I never did that.’ They might infer that you’re not making sense or you’re faulty in the way you’re looking at things when you’re not. Because these responses can instill self-doubt over time, you’re more likely to go along with your partner’s distortions. In time, self-doubt creates a loss of trust in your perception and judgment, making you all the more vulnerable to a partner who wants to control you.

3. Your partner requires constant check-ins and wants to know where you are and who you are with at all times.

Wanting an ongoing account of another person’s whereabouts, in addition to [a person] limiting where their partner goes or who they spend time with, are powerful examples of emotional abuse

4. Your partner says hurtful things about you disguised as “jokes.”

Then when you complain, they claim they were only joking and you’re too sensitive. There is truth to the saying that behind every mean or sarcastic remark is a grain of truth.

“Emotionally abused people often come to believe that they are stupid, inconsiderate or selfish because they have been accused of these things so often by their partner

6. Your partner is hot and cold. 

Your partner is loving one moment and distant and unavailable the next. No matter how hard you try to figure out why, you can’t. They deny being withdrawn, and you start panicking, trying hard to get back into their good graces. Absent an explanation for why they’re turned off, you start blaming yourself.

7. Your partner refuses to acknowledge your strengths and belittles your accomplishments. 

 The ways your partner reacts to your accomplishments or positive feelings about something can be telling. Does he show little interest or ignore you? Does he find something about what you’re saying to belittle? Does he change the topic to one that’s shaming in some way to you or criticize you about what you’re not doing? Over time, confronted with hurtful responses, your sense of confidence and trust in your own competence can slowly diminish

8. Your partner withholds affection, sex or money to punish you.

Any relationship that has ‘strings attached’ is inherently problematic. The process of withholding affection or emotional or financial support is not always understood as abusive.

9. You’ve lost sexual desire for your partner. 

“This is especially true for women, who generally need to feel trusting and intimate with their partner in order to become physically and emotionally aroused. 

10. You feel sorry for your partner, even though they hurt you.

“Emotional abusers are master manipulators, and they are able to screw you over while at the same time making you feel that it’s either your fault, or at the very least, something they couldn’t help because of their childhood or a past relationship, how hurt they are over something you said or did or even nothing at all ― you just feel sorry for them. 

11. Your partner is always changing plans in order to “surprise” you — or so they say.  Of course, surprise isn’t the motive; controlling you is, without ever making a demand. Alas, you’re so flattered by his caring that you utterly miss the point. In time, it becomes a pattern and your own wants and needs will fall by the wayside.

If you resonate with this or know of any one suffering emotional Abuse. Please seek help from mental health professional. Consult for same