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Sexual Compatibility - How Vital Is It?

Reviewed by
Dr. Ajay Pal Singh 92% (3808 ratings)
Bachelor of Ayurveda, Medicine and Surgery (BAMS)
Sexologist, Delhi  •  10 years experience
Sexual Compatibility - How Vital Is It?

Compatibility between couples is a hotly debated and researched topic that encompasses many things. It includes mental, social and financial compatibility among many things. One of the most important thing between any couple is also sexual compatibility.

Sometimes, this topic is given overt importance while sometimes it is pushed to the side. Some of the factors, which determine the importance of sexual compatibility in a long term relationship are mentioned below:

  1. Experience: It may be the case wherein one of the partners is far more experienced than the other and this might cause certain issues in the relationship. While this may be a temporary problem, it may rear its head up later when one of the partners wants to try something new and the other wants to stick to the same old thing. Thus, it is better if both the partners have a fairly equal level of experience so that they are on even keel.

  2. Confidence with your own sexuality: Although experience matters, confidence with one’s own sexuality also counts.  An experienced partner may be less confident than an inexperienced partner in some cases as well. You should have explored your own sexuality in some ways to understand what your likes and dislikes are and what your no-go zones are. This will help you communicate them better to your partner.

  3. The amount of sex drive each partner has: Two people will not have the same level of sex drive. What matters is how close they are and how adaptable they are to each other. If one partner wants sex every day and the other wants it only a few times a year, then it is obviously going to cause problems. It is important to gauge that at the start of a relationship as this can end up being a major disappointment and a deal breaker in the long run.

  4. Openness to discuss sex and adjusting to your partner’s needs: This is a very important parameter as openness to discussing sex means you are comfortable trying to gauge each other’s desires, likes and dislikes and thus adjusting accordingly. It is important for both partners to meet in the middle which will result in a happy relationship in the long term.

  5. Have realistic expectations: It is important to have realistic expectations with your partner as far as sex is concerned as there are bound to be differences. However, if there are certain points which you think may cause problems, it is important to discuss them right at the start of a relationship, as they may end up causing problems in the long run.

Why is sexual compatibility important?

Sexual compatibility is very important as physical attraction and shared pleasure are two of the major contributors to pair bonding within a relationship. It is very important to be able to discuss sexual compatibility as this often gets buried under financial and social compatibility. However, it may cause major strife and marital problems later.

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