RELATIONSHIPS- FACTORS IN DEVELOPING AND BUILDING THEM.

When you want to buid a new relationship, whether it is for work, business, personal, marriage, friendship etc there are several factors that help take off and bloom the relationship. Be it of any age group, these are broadly the same factors that play on our mind. Some of the most important from a psychological point of view have been highlighted here.

Presentation- When you want to draw someone into relationship with you for any reason, it is important that you present yourself at you best levels be it communication, physical or mental. Like they say that the first impression is the best impression, your display of you strengths creates an impression that helps people decide what they want to do with you. This doesn’t mean you should hide all your weaknesses but highlighting your strengths is as important as making your weaknesses clear.

Plan – Let people know what you want to do with them and what they can they can do with you. No one can say they don’t have a plan. There is always some plan. Knowing it strengthens why you want to have that relationship in the first place. Otherwise it s like a something which is there but you can never want to do anything with!

Possibilities- will this relationship bring me trouble? Obviously nobody wants to get into a relationship with anybody that brings them trouble be it physical or mental. Next question is whether it will benefit me? Small or big depends on persons needs. Some relationships neither brings us trouble nor benefits us and they are still better than those that bring trouble.

Potential – Does this relationship you are trying to develop have any possibilities of growth a few or many years down the line. Obviously we have a lot of friends who wither by passing of time. Does this relationship have an expiry date irrespective of how well or bad it goes? Like when we join college we know for sure that the friends will be with us till the duration of the course and that s it. We will know that if we study together it will help us achieve great grades in college and hence a great life later. These kind of growth possibilities or possibilities of deterioration are important to be well aware of and will naturally decide the course of relationships.

Progress – No matter what our initial assessments are, how the relationships helps us fare in the outside world will ultimately decide the future of any relationship. Loss, sorrow, tragedy, degradation in any aspect of life, insults, injury, loss of health etc will never help any relationship continue or last.

Partnerships – When we want to buid a relationship with someone, the best way to do it is to obviously partner with that person in as many activities as possible. The more interested a person is the more activities that person will involve you in and try to do it with you. This type of partnership activities, be it spending a few hours in the evening, or a few minutes on phone, or an association of months or years are a foolproof way to show you are interested. Conversely a person who doesn’t partner with you in anything is extremely unlikely to ever have any sort of relationship with you. Partnership in activites is the only way to show and know that you are interested or the other person is interested respectively. After all chasing the moon, stars and rainbow are activites of people who don’t realize its out of their reach. Sensible people are busy with what their eyes see, hands feel, ears listen, tounges heard and thinking perceives as appropriate.

Persistance on all Ps – Obviously when we want relationships to last, we need to be persistant on all the above P s. Otherwise it wont take long for a relationship to be counted in “once upon a time”!! A simple conversation even if for a few minutes every now and then may make it seem that you are still there for a person. Without even that people may even find it hard to remember that they even had something to do with you sometime before keeping in mind the the numerous activities we involve in to maintain our lifestyles.

“KNOWING IS DOING AND NOT KNOWING IS UNDOING EVEN IF DOING!”