How To Understand Asexual People?

Learn what it means to be asexual. 

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that means a person feels no sexual attraction to people of any gender. However, a person who identifies as asexual can still choose to have sex, can still love, can still be involved with a romantic partner or get married, and can still engage in normal relationships. Asexuality doesn’t describe what a person chooses to do, but rather how a person feels. Asexual people have emotional needs, feel attraction to others, and can even feel arousal; they just don’t feel sexual attraction.

• Many asexual people still identify as lesbian, gay, straight, bisexual, or pansexual (attracted to people of any gender or sexual orientation) as well.

• Asexuality is not the same as having a low libido, which can be caused by medical or health issues, nor is it the same as repressing one’s sexual desires.

Understand the asexuality umbrella. 

As with any sexual orientation, the label asexual is a generalization that doesn’t explain or represent everyone who identifies that way. All humans are unique and individual, and sexual orientation exists on a spectrum of needs, desires, interests, and attractions. Think of asexuality as an umbrella term that describes people who identify as asexual, gray-asexual, and demisexual.

• Gray-asexual means that a person experiences sexual attraction, but either not very often or only to a minimal extent. This is also just called Gray-A/Gray-Ace.
• Demisexual describes a person who only feels sexual attraction to people with whom a close emotional bond has been formed. This is colloquially called "demi".

Differentiate asexuality from abstinence and celibacy. Abstinence is the deliberate choice to refrain from sexual activity, while celibacy is the deliberate choice to refrain from sexual activity and marriage (or marriage-like relationships). These choices may be made for religious, philosophical, moral, or other reasons. Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction, but not necessarily a lack of sexual appetite (libido). This means asexual people can be:

• Abstinent or celibate.
• Sexually active through masturbation.
• Sexually active with partners.

Learn what asexuality isn’t. Asexuality is a sexual orientation that’s distinct from heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, pansexuality, and other orientations. However, asexuality also has nothing to do with biological sex, gender identity, or gender expression. And being asexual doesn’t mean you are aromantic, which means a person feels no romantic attraction to others.