How to Handle Conflict in a Marriage?

Whether you’ve had a love marriage or an arranged marriage, it is impossible for two people to live together without experiencing a conflict of opinions at some point or the other. After all, each of us has our own unique personalities, habits and idiosyncrasies. Thus the key to a successful marriage is not finding ways to avoid conflicts, but discovering how to deal with them. Here are a few tips that could help you build a stronger relationship with your spouse.

Communicate with Your Partner

Nobody except you can ever know what you’re feeling unless you share it with them. Many conflicts begin when one partner expects the other to be able to read their mind. If something is bothering you, don’t express yourself rudely, but sit the other person down and explain what and how you are feeling. Listening to what your partner has to say is equally important. Keep an open mind and try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes.

1. Be respectful: Feeling hurt is no excuse to start abusing or blaming the other person. Understand that if you begin an argument by shouting at your partner, he or she will turn defensive and not be able to completely understand what you are trying to say. Belittling a person can also shift focus away from the actual problem. Respect your partner and do not start an argument in front of other people or put him or her down in company.

2. Pick the right time: Never start an argument when you or your spouse are stressed (learn the ways to control everyday stress) or tired. In such a frame of mind, it is easier to get irritated with the other person than understand their views. When you are trying to resolve a conflict, the problem and your spouse should have your complete attention. Hence, don’t try and multitask by cooking or catching up with work while resolving a conflict. This applies even if you are talking to your spouse over the telephone.

3. Take time out: Tempers often flare when talking about a sore point. However, be aware that getting angry (learn more about to control extreme anger) or agitated will not solve anything. The moment you find yourself or your partner feeling too upset or negative, take a time out from the situation. Tell your partner that you need some time and walk away quietly. You can resume your conversation when you are both feeling calmer. However, do not use this time out as an excuse to avoid resolving the issue