Your mom probably never told you this, but it's true: sex is good for you! Plenty of studies show it: regular sex increases immunity from viruses, relieves stress, and even helps protect the health of a man's prostate gland by emptying fluids held there! It also triggers the release of chemicals that improve mood and ease pain. Your doctor probably never told you this, but this is also true: most people can and should have sex well into old age!
While menopause in women does affect sexual drive and function somewhat, there is no reason healthy men or women can't experience sexual pleasure at any stage in life. Sure, the nature and intensity of the sex may change, but the love and pleasure don't! If your sex drive has stalled out, you have good reasons to rev it back up again. Just try a couple of these tips and we guarantee your engine will be turning over again in no time.
- Frequent dating: Take time once in a while to go out for a dinner at least where there are no other distractions. Just the two of you, and it will make a difference. Do not talk about home, children, work, etc.
- Night outs/weekend outings: Once in a while, try staying away from home. This could be an extended dinner, where you do not return home that day or a weekend outing where just the two of you take time out with each other.
- Have sex tonight: Having regular sex helps keep your sex drive in high gear, by increasing the production of testosterone, which is the hormone mainly responsible for libido in both men and women.
- Women: Practice Kegel exercises. You know what Kegels are, they're the squeezing exercises your doctor told you to do after pregnancy, or because you were having a bit of a problem with leaking urine. What the Doc probably didn't tell you is that they're also great for strengthening the pubococcygeus muscle, essential for orgasm. To do Kegels, take note of the muscle you use to stop the urinary flow, then practice contracting that muscle, gradually releasing it. Work up to 20 contractions three times a day.
- Make sure you touch: Every time you pass your partner, reach out and touch or kiss him or her. Don't allow these moments to go beyond the kiss or hug. Simply increasing the amount of physical contact you have with your partner will help with desire.
- Rituals:Create your own intimate rituals. No, we're not talking about sex. But what about waking him up with a steaming cup of coffee instead of the alarm every morning? What about having a hot bath ready for her in the evening? How about a special dinner out every Tuesday, when most couples are zoned out in front of the TV? Or massaging her feet while you watch a DVD with a big bowl of popcorn? The key is consistency. These are not things you do just once, but over and over again until they become like a secret language between the two of you.
- Body Massage: Spend an hour with your partner touching every part of his/her body, but you can't use your hands. Use other parts of your body (including your imagination) instead. Conversely, caress one another only with your hands touching every part of the body except the genital zones. This can remove any pressure you might feel to "get right to it" after a hectic day on the job and is a wonderful way, at least for the woman, to relax and escape from the daily grind and transition from her other (oh-so-non-sexual) roles. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Psychiatrist.