Man is different from the other species in that we are social beings. One of the main differentiators is our constant need to 'connect' with our fellow beings. Be it family or friends or society at large, we constantly need to be connected to our near and dear ones and want attention, affection, and assurance.
We need to respect this basic desire and appreciate that there is nothing wrong in feeling needed. Problems arise when this feeling to be needed gets excessive. There is a significant constant demand from the needy person, especially from those who are close to them.
Some cases where neediness is demonstrated are in new relationships. In the beginning, there is a great urge to please and therefore a greater focus on interacting with them. There is a fear of losing attention, there is insatiable excessive demand for attention - be it pleas, accusations, or demands - so as to not feel abandoned and deserted. Neediness is also quite evident in people with depression. Again, an attempt to not be abandoned by their near and dear ones.
By making a conscious effort, the neediness can be reduced, thereby making the relationships smoother and less painful to both the parties involved. As the saying goes - 'acknowledging the problem is half the problem solved'.
Needy people should realize or accept if told that there is an issue and make a conscious effort to work on reducing neediness.
1. Divert attention - As simple as it might sound, it is equally effective. Indulge in whatever interests you - exercise, meditation, dance, sing, etc. The idea is to divert attention so that the urge to feel needy and act on that instinct is reduced. This reduces the fear of being lonely and works magic. The busier you get, the less bored you are. As they say, be alone but not lonely.
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