Family & Couples - How To Balance It?

Marriage is a very tricky relationship. On one hand, you are happy to have found that one person you want to spend the rest of your life with and on the other, you are overwhelmed with the number of people that are going to be a part of your new family. While this is true for both people in the marriage, a lot would depend on the final living situation. It is a different experience if the couple is going to be staying in close proximity to their families as compared to when all the family members are living together under the same roof.

There are mixed feelings of anxiety and curiosity, especially if it is an arranged marriage, where the number of interactions with your partner itself are limited. With the changing scenario in relationships, there are some families (extended family) who you end up meeting only during family occasions.

Also, the relationship dynamics with the in-laws change for the couple. Let us look deeper into how different it is for everyone and how to manage them.

In most situations in Indian marriages, the woman moves into her husband’s place, thereby, there is an increase in the number of people she interacts with. If it is a love marriage, the chance of meeting the immediate family members are always high. However, in more formal set-ups, the woman would have hardly interacted with her spouse’s family members. In these cases, understanding their expectations and living up to them is a big challenge. In these cases, it is essential for the members of the family to effectively communicate with each other and discuss the issues at hand. This helps in setting and aligning expectations.

• With changing lifestyle trends, the expectations have also changed, both for the woman and her new family. It is therefore very essential to understand the little things that form a part of a daily routine.
• It is also very important to set expectations on special occasions like festivals and family functions, as the expectations are high and the chance of disappointment is also higher.
• For the man, again, it depends on how the set-up is after the marriage. If the families know each other, the interaction is much smoother or else, it takes some time for all the people involved to get to know each other.

All said and done, both have to be mentally prepared to embrace the new members that come with the relationship. Talking to a common friend or even a counsellor can help, if required. The key is to set and manage expectations so that disappointments are avoided.