When you spend so much time with someone you are bound to have at least an occasional difference of opinion, to say the least, and it’s not always easy to keep objective and levelheaded when you enter into a disagreement with your partner. When this happens, remember to use these effective communication skills with your partner to improve the odds of reaching a solution that is in the relationship’s best interest.
This is because no matter how much you love and respect each other, it might not be possible to always keep cool and be levelheaded while entering into a disagreement with your significant other.
Here are a few effective communication skills that can improve the odds of reaching an amicable solution:
Use ‘I’ in the statement: Never blame your partner. This can make your partner feel that you are trying to attack your partner’s feelings, which often takes a negative turn. For example, if your partner is late, you can say “I would have appreciated if you had called me”. In this case, it’s all about how you feel and so it’s now up to the partner to appreciate, understand and consider your situation.
Don’t interrupt; listen first: Generally, in an argument, both the partners usually wait for their turn to talk and spurt out their anger and resentment. But this often makes things get worse. Most of the time, disagreements and petty discords, often, get resolved more easily, when someone pays more attention to the cause that might be making the other person upset. Also, watch out for the other person’s body language for getting a grip of his/her feelings. Try and pay undivided attention to what your partner has to say. Only when you have understood what might be the reason for all the hullaballoo, should you start explaining.
Don’t dig up the Past: Always stick to the discussion and the controversy at hand. Never dig up old corpses. Digging up past hatchet will only churn out further heated arguments, things you surely would want to avoid. Remember, resolving multiple conflicts could only get nastier and even more difficult.
Explain later, Acknowledge first: The most effective way of avoiding sudden escalation of disagreements is to first listen and acknowledge your partner’s feelings. Do it even if you think that the other person’s argument lacks reason. Take your time to hear out the other person.
Maintain a Positive and a Respectful Tone: Lastly, maintain a positive and a respectful tone. And never abuse. Abusing is derogatory and can invite further malice that will only keep on spiraling north. There never was and will never be any alternative to maintaining dignity and holding your ground no matter how much the malice is. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a doctor.