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Every person faces ups and downs in life, the difference lies in how we deal with the low points of our life. Losing someone you love is probably the saddest experience anyone can go through. Our natural reaction to such a loss is grief. The more significant the loss; the more intense your grief will be. There is no right or wrong way to grieve and everyone grieves in a different way.
However, here are a few healthy ways you can cope with your loss to move on with your life.
1. Build a support system: When you are grieving, you may feel that nobody understands how you feel and would want to isolate yourself. Do not allow yourself to withdraw into a shell and instead build a support system of friends and family who you trust. You could also visit a counselor who is trained to deal with such situations. Joining a support group can also help.
2. Face your grief: Not allowing yourself to grieve can do more harm than good. You can suppress your grief for a short time but you cannot avoid it forever. The longer you avoid facing it, the more difficult it will be. Suppressing grief can also lead to a number of health problems such as depression, substance abuse and anxiety.
3. Look after your health: When grieving for the loss of a loved one, you may not feel hungry and may want to simply lie in bed all day. But you must instead get out, eat right and exercise regularly. When the body is healthy, you not only feel better physically but also emotionally. Avoid turning to alcohol and drugs to lift your mood.
4. Express yourself: Bottling up your emotions is never a good idea. However, sometimes talking about how you feel can be difficult. In such situations, look for alternate means of expressing yourself. For examples, you could try painting or start a scrapbook.
5. Look out for grief triggers: What makes coping with the loss of a loved one difficult is the fact that you share a number of life events with them. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and festive occasions can bring back memories of the person and overwhelm you. To successfully heal, you must plan ahead for events like this that will trigger grief. Do not allow yourself to be alone at such times.
6. Seek professional help: Sometimes, when you are dealing with the loss of a loved one, you find yourself sinking into depression or find it difficult to resume your normal lifestyle. It is a good idea to consult a mental health practitioner or counselor.
Marriage is perhaps the most important relation in an adult’s life. That’s why it needs extra care and attention, especially when things are not exactly gung ho. This is where marriage or marital therapy comes in.
Marriage counseling is the process of counseling the married couple to recognize and to reconcile or at least manage differences and repeating patterns of stress upon the marital relationship.
Basic practices of marital therapy
- The basic practices of marital therapy focus primarily on the process of communicating. Counselors use a method called active listening.
- Another method used is called “Cinematic immersion”. Both these methods have one important thing in common- they help counselors create a safe environment where each partner can express feelings and hear the feelings of the other.
- Emotionally focused therapy for couples or EFT-C is also used. This is based on attachment theory and uses emotion as an agent of change and target, both.
- Behavioral couples’ therapy is another method used. It is actually a proven way out of marital discord. This method focuses on integrating the twin goals of acceptance and change for couples in therapy.
The successful couples usually make concrete changes to accommodate the needs of the partner and also show greater emotional acceptance of the other.
Role of the relationship counselor
A couple therapist is usually someone with a degree in psychiatry or counseling. And her primary role is to listen, understand and facilitate better communication between the couple. The counselor also:
- Provides a confidential tete-a tete, which normalizes feelings
- Enables each partner to be heard and to hear themselves
- Works as a mirror to reflect the marriage’s difficulties to the partners
- Outlines the potential and direction for change
- Delivers important information
- Improves communication
- Identifies the repetitive, negative interaction cycle that drives a problematic marriage as a pattern
- Understands the source of emotions behind that negative pattern
- Re-organizes these key emotional responses to offset the pattern
- Creates new patterns of interaction
- Increases emotional attachment between partners
When should you seek marital therapy?
- When you avoid communicating or your communication has become negative- This usually means bad language, verbal abuse, and sometimes physical abuse.
- When you or your partner have sought out other sexual partners – Marital therapy can save a marriage after an affair if both partners want and work out the kinks in their relationship.
- Lack of intimacy in the marriage- This is the stage when partners just occupy the same space without communication, or exchange of feelings or touch.
Marriage counseling is a long process. And another thing to remember is that it can’t save a marriage that is unsalvageable. So, go in for marital therapy with an aim to do what’s the best for you and your partner.
Is your life dull and boring? Are you unhappy with the way you are leading your everyday life? Laughter is very important for living and is a vital part of healthy living. It helps in relieving tension, reducing stress, making you relax, and increases your happiness. Here are some ways following which you can bring more laughter in your life:
- Connect with an old friend
- Connecting with a friend from the past is ideal for bringing up topics and memories which are sure to make you laugh.
- Remembering funny incidents, stories, and hilarious moments can make you revisit old days and laugh.
- Humour in your everyday life
- Laughter and fun can be found in all places. You need to find them out.
- There can be a lot of common, ordinary things which are ironically or sarcastically funny. Observe humorous moments from everything around you and share them with your people.
- Watch your favourite television shows
- Watching your favourite comedy shows and programs on the tv will bound to loosen you up.
- Instead of watching deep movies that are thought to provoke, something light and capable of making you laugh is also important.
- Spend time with children
- Kids are uninhabited, simple and happy beings. You will be able to recall your childhood by talking to children. This is a great way to make you laugh.
- Have sleepovers
- Sleepovers may be old fashioned, but they are a source of unadulterated laughter.
- Inviting friends over for movies and makeovers paves the way for unlimited laughter all night long.
- Visit amusement parks
- Amusement parks are a great way of having fun and also realising how you can laugh at simple things.
- Visit amusement parks with your friends or family and have a great time laughing.
- Listen to funny songs from your childhood
- Listening to your favourite funny songs from childhood is a nice way for you to loosen up.
- It will remind you of your memories with that song, which is bound to make you recapitulate and laugh.
- Play in bouncy houses
- You should hop in bouncy houses that are meant for children.
- You can come across these at birthday parties, community events, and play centres. Jumping and laughing are sure to give you a good time.
You should also try to make the people around you laugh. Hearing the laughter of others will surely make you laugh as well as it is very much contagious. Tell ridiculous jokes and rhymes to make your friends and close ones burst out in laughter, which will be a matter to laugh about for you as well. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Marriage brings with it a whole new set of living standards. How much ever you know the other person, living with that person as a family is a different experience. There are things which annoy you as much as things that surprise you, leaving you excited and happy at times, annoyed and agitated at others.
It is often the small things that lead to temperamental issues between couples. And, different people have different tolerance limits. While some could ignore the small issues and throw tantrums only when there is some significant argument, for others, throwing their temperament could just be a way out to vent their anger. These bouts may appear and disappear in a matter of seconds to minutes. It is very important for the couple to understand each other’s limits and play accordingly. It is also important to complement each other so that both are not throwing tempers at the same time.
The following are some ways to manage temperamental issues between couples.
- Avoid arguments in the presence of other family members or friends
- It is always good to discuss sensitive things when in private
- Apologise if you know you said or did something wrong
- A direct conversation always helps clear the air
- Gradually learn to understand what will irritate your spouse and try to avoid it
- Be accepting of and respect your spouse as he/she is
- Learn to ignore the small things and not fight over them
- Learn to tolerate the negative aspects of your spouse
- Learn not to talk about the past, it will only add to the hatred and bitterness
- Try to discuss the problem in an outside soothing environment than at home
- Listen to your spouse, don’t just vent out your feelings and thoughts
- Reach an agreement where both are benefited (emotionally)
- Do not ignore small problems, learn to give importance to your spouse’s feelings and thoughts
- Give each other space and privacy once in a while
- Learn and encourage a hobby with genuine interest, whatever be it
- Always show that you love and care, nothing works like a warm hug
When in a temperamental fit, ask yourself if it is really important, consider the big picture. In 99% of the situations, it would not be. Just let it go. Fight only when you really have to.
For a couple, it is not about who won the fight or the argument. It always pays to be kind and fight only when really important. Almost all differences can be sorted out by talking out responsibly in a mature manner and with love. A sorry here, a thank you there and your love will go a long way in resolving issues and a happy married life.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Every individual experiences anxiety in some form at some point of time. One suffers from an anxiety disorder if one experiences dogged, unrealistic worrying about everyday life. One is said to experience panic attack if the abrupt attacks have symptoms like racing heart, nausea, tremors and intense fear. A panic attack is a sudden rush of overwhelming anxiety and fear. The heart pounds and breathing becomes difficult. If ignored and untreated, panic attacks can lead to panic disorder and may cause one to withdraw from normal activities.
With a little mindful attention and practice, one can reduce or eliminate the symptoms of a panic attack, manage anxiety, and prevent attacks from occurring in the future and regain control of life. If one is having a panic attack, then the aim is to calm oneself at the moment by breathing deeply. This would reduce the stress and provide oxygen to the brain to help one focus. Hold your breath to start with and reduce the feeling of choking and then begin to breathe slowly. Inhale through nose and exhale through mouth till one notices a difference in muscle relaxation and clarity of thought.
During a panic attack, your thoughts are often jumbled up. This is due to the fact that one's heart rate has kicked off and breathing is in high gear, muscles are tensed and blood flow is constricted. One should try to focus on one's senses and should distract the mind from fear through different mental diversions.This can be as simple as reciting the lyrics to your favourite song or poem until one has calmed down a bit. It is important that one should make sure not to distract by leaving the situation that has caused the panic. One must ride out the panic attack at the same place else one will likely associate that place or situation with fear triggering future attacks.
Try to practice progressive muscle relaxation by slowly going through body and tensing and relaxing each muscle group. It relaxes muscles as well as forces one to concentrate on something other than fear. Although, if one want to reduce the anxiety, don't ignore it. One should try stop anxiety producing thoughts and replace them with images of something that brings you happiness or peace.Using guided image of a place where one feel at peace and relaxed, reduce one's experience of anxiety. Further, add details to the scene, so that one is focusing the entire mind on imagining it.
Taking care of one's physical health will help take care of mental health. Healthy exercise and diet habits will help you manage manage anxiety. Getting an body active, especially through aerobic exercise, releases chemicals that are responsible for increasing ones feelings of peace and happiness. Stimulants like as caffeine and nicotine worsen existing anxiety and dependence on them can increase feelings of stress and anxiety when one don't get enough of it. Eat a balanced diet with plenty of lean protein, complex carbohydrates like whole grains, and fresh fruits and vegetables and avoid processed and high-sugar foods.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Parenting is a lifetime job be it for a normal child or a child with special needs. Parents are teachers, guides, leaders, protectors and providers for their children. Parenting is a process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, financial and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood. Every child is a gift and a blessing to their parents. On the other hand, parenting itself is one of the toughest jobs and that too for a child with special needs, it is both a blessing and challenge.
It is a very unique experience to live with a disabled child as it has a major impact on the family, siblings and extended family members. However, discovering a problem should be the initial step to start with parenting such children. Discovering a child's special needs is often a confusing and painful process for parents as sometimes learning difficulties can be multiple and difficult to pinpoint and it can be hard for parents to know whether things are normal or not.
There are various categories of disabilities that your child might fall under. For example: Specific Learning Disability (SLD), Other Health Impairment, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Emotional disturbance, Speech or language impairment, Visual impairment, including blindness, Deafness, Deaf-blindness, Orthopedic impairment, Intellectual disability, Traumatic brain injury, Multiple disabilities.
Some common indications for the development of learning disabilities which can be taken into consideration
- Difficulty with reading/writing
- Problems with math skills
- Difficulty in remembering
- Problem in paying attention
- Trouble following directions
- Difficulty with concepts related to time
- Problem in staying organized
- Impulsive behavior
- Inappropriate responses in school or social situations
- Difficulty staying on task(easily distracted)
- Difficulty finding the right way to say something
- Immature way of speaking
- Inconsistent school performance
- Difficulty listening well
- Problem in understanding words or concept
But the above mentioned signs are not enough to determine that a person has a learning disability. A professional assessment is also necessary to diagnose a learning disability because every disability has its own signs and unless they persist over time cannot be considered as a 'disability'. In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!