Male 26, our arrange marriage was in january 2016 and I & she are very different from each other beside this we haven't live together more than 2 month after marriage due to our custom and rituals. She is of 23, from very different culture, as she grows up in a very strict atmosphere and don't have much leverage to do things in her own way and I am some dominating nature kind person along with sorry tempered. My partner is having some issues of telling lies and a sense of humour to play with words along with negative thoughts with very quick judgement, SORRY TO SAY BUT THIS TRUE although I repeatedly wave off her all mistakes but its seems like she's making habit of her. If I make any mistake then I am gona suffer which is obvious and if she made any mistakes (like lies and word games) then even I have to suffer; suffer in the sense that I can't say anything to her in loud cause as she is from different culture so it might take some time to get fit in new world. While living together during above mentioned period all because of her habit, once I had cut myself and also I had put my first against the wall and got fractured but still she doesn't know all these things, I know I had done this wrong but even after she doesn't bother about anything and still at her very own track. Now coming to the point I really love her and don't want to lose her and also I had a word over her habits; she makes promises but all goes in drain. Sometimes I am having mix feeling for her. Within few days we are about to live together but all of past things that happened I am not getting how to behave when we'll meet. Please help/ suggest something.
46 years experience
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You don't sound of a balanced mind to attempt violence and to cut yourself up for matters of marriage. Initially, there will be a lot of adjustment especially if the two of you are from different cultures. It takes about two years to make this adjustment. To enable this you tow must stay together by yourselves and learn the adjustment skills. Even if she has bad habits she can change if told about it and is given ample support. In the meantime, you two can go for relationship counseling and perhaps even for pre-marital counseling even though you two are already married. The differences are supposed to be entertaining if they are within reasonable bounds. These things can be discussed with the counselor. Because it is an arranged marriage, there will a lot of differences and you two must learn how to tide over them for your advantage.
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