Hi everyone I want to know that if pain is inevitable why we are afraid of pain, now everyday lot of people die and accidents happenings all around the world but I am shocked to see how these people tolerate pain and fear of death. I am very much coward and I am very afraid of slight pain, even I do not like getting injection and I avoid many of the things due to pain, I also know that no pain no gain but I am still frightened of pain and I do not like getting out of comfort zone as it is painful and also I hate pain I am lazy and I want to get rid of laziness but its really very painful and even if we want to achieve something like good grades or mastering a skill we have to undergo pain so if success requires pain so why people avoid pain why I am so afraid of pain as each and every person is undergoing pain so how I can prepare myself for facing pain or getting out of comfort zone or to tolerate physical pain.

Dr. Tarun VermaPsychologist7yrs exp

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Your question is a very existential one, which means you are asking a question about an experience which all of us go through in everyday lives and is of philosophical concern for all of us. No one wants pain. Try to see that it is in the nature of pain that it is avoided. Pain implies something which discomforts us or which makes us at unease. Everyone wants to be happy and pleasurable all the time. But this is not so in real sense. Nature consists of bipolarities where each and every phenomena has an equal opposite. People who can experience pleasure only experience pain. Schizophrenic individuals do not experience much pain because they are devoid of pleasure too. Therefore, for experience of appropriate pleasure, an equal share of painful experiences is must. Since your question is much philosophical so I am answering that way. Your second problem is laziness that you mentioned. Laziness is a sign of creativity too. You seem to think deeply about your condition and due to this you seem to bother about your present condition. You see yourself as lazy and unproductive. But this is how nature is. Nature is lazy too. Do you see any deadline in nature's functioning? Nature's phenomena happen on their own. More important for nature is Harmony with other things around. You should also look for the same in your life. Harmony! You want to come out of your comfort zone which means you want a change in your life. But as I can see, your thinking shows that life is too difficult to overcome even few minor issues. You see everything as cumbersome and a burden on you. You are surrounded by a lot of pain. Pain is what you see in you life everywhere. Moving ahead and looking back - there is pain everywhere. Slightest change for you means bearing a lot of pain. You are preoccupied by existential concerns of how to make meaning out of your life. This is why you find yourself lazy because you see that everyone around you is taking efforts to become active and successful and competitive but you are not among those. You find yourself different from others, unique in several aspects. Even success is aversive for you. You seem to be a thinker kind of a person who wants to think and reflect on life. Let me tell you. This thinking style is your asset. Your life will make a deeper meaning for you in long run but everything will run slowly. The reason is, unlike others, you are able to see the meaninglessness of life. At the very core, life has no meaning and you are able to sense this. This makes your life burdensome and worthless. Life has meaning but at the same time it s meaningless - another dichotomy. People who are running for success only want pleasure and hence they experience pain too in achieving success. But they are not able to see the other side of life. You can feel that. Most people only want to see meaning in life and hence they seem selfish and active. But you see the other side. You see life's meaninglessness and hence you feel pain more. They are just busy in seeking pleasure so they suffer more. But believe me, you are not suffering rather living life. You live pain, people suffer pain - thats the difference. Your approach is more deeper than of most people. Stay with this approach and way of life and your life will find meaning. No specific solution will work. 

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