I face issues in making decisions. Fear is what stops me. How to deal with such situation?
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Hi lybrate-user, Fearing change keeps all of us stuck in place some times when it would be better to move on. That's normal human nature, but it's not serving us well. How do we get past it? It's not easy, but here are some questions that may help. 1. What's the worst that can happen if I make this change? I'm not suggesting you indulge in worst-case-scenario fantasies. What I am recommending is that you think about the difficulties you're likeliest to encounter as a result of your big change, and make plans to mitigate them. 2. What's the best that can happen if I don't make this change? Sometimes this question is the push we need to face up to change. It's simple: If you're unhappy with the status quo, and all you're likely to get is more of the same, then you have a choice: Learn to love what you already have, or go get something new. If you can't do the former, then you'd better do the latter, or you may be stuck in the doldrums forever. 3. Can anyone ever know everything? There's a simple answer to this one: Obviously not. This tells you that if an unknown future seems scary--well it is, and it is for everyone. Thinking you'll know what will happen if you change your life is as much an illusion as thinking that you know what will happen if you don't. In other words--it's all a mystery, so if you have the urge to give something new a try, you might as well go for it. 4. If I don't make this change, will everything else stay the same? This, too, has an obvious answer: No, it won't. This is something to keep in mind when making a decision about change. It's human nature to believe that the conditions we're accustomed to seeing will always be there but it isn't true. You may pass on that great business opportunity for the security of your job, only to be a victim of downsizing a year later. Or you could go start that new business, only to find that your former boss leaves and you'd have gotten that promotion if you'd stayed. Either way, there's a risk, and a choice to make. 5. Can I give myself permission to be sad about the life I left behind? You may need a little time to feel sad about the life you're leaving behind before you can fully move on to a new one. That's OK. And it doesn't mean you're making the wrong decision by changing. (Here's more on how to let go of what's holding you back.) 6. Will I be able to handle it if things go wrong? This may be the fear that's really holding you back. And the answer to this question is almost certainly yes. Most people are more resourceful than we realize, and more able to deal with difficulty. If you're letting this concern stop you from making a change--don't. You can handle more than you know. 7. If not now, when? No one likes to think about this, but the fact is each of us has no idea how little or how long we have left on this planet. I'll always remember my high school friend Stephen who advised trying out many careers because, he said, "Your life is long. It wasn't for him: He died of cancer at the age of 38. Consult me or any other psychologist to deal with this issue from the roots. All the best you can consult with me too.
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