I am a retired professional engineer having worked as high a level as CEO & retired in 2014. I am from a Lower Middle Class family of a govt servant in Delhi with 6 six siblings. Father died at an early age of 52 in 1968. My mother & brothers & sister brought me up in an environment fully enjoyable depended & a very happy 15 years . I then went on to do my PG in Eng from Indian Institute of Science . All by my own without disturbing my brothers for financial aids etc. I got a very good career & I planned my career to become a CEO by 50 which I became when I was 52. Yes I have been fairly successful in my career. I got married into a HIG family and had 2 loving children who have succeeded well in their life and one is married & the other is getting married shortly. I was fortunate enough to educate them in US & feel proud of them & have spend close to 80 lacs for their education & marriage. My wife is a very helpful & a very good mother and she has a twin sister who is married & is very rich & over influencing. My wife is very close to her. I have been having frequent surgeries about 15 so far all due to accident or birth defects latest being colon disorder which required an 8 hr surgery. I am diabetic but healthy & can stand in a factory for 8 hrs without getting tired? My Problem My family has been very toxic towards me Anything I say or do is either wrong or is verified Now that I am retired I am not shown any respect & decisions are taken without any info to me . I do not feel being there. I feel second rate family member though lot of concern is shown on me. I feel drained & very anxious what will happen to me. I am left with just a little savings and I have to work to earn a sustaining salary . I cannot afford any more spending & I have to be assertive about this. Can I change myself to accept what is happening. Do I change the environment ? How do I project myself to be happy & can be a good part of a celebration . My children know all this but are biased towards my wife I do not resent this I have accepted this as natural . Please guide me.
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Please do morning walk daily take balance diet do meditation to relieve stress. Take good sleep spend time outdoors with your friends -- visit them. Engage yourself in some social activities/ngo/help the poor. Visit temple daily offer praying. Know yourself the internal peace - develop the habit of forgiveness.
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Dear sir, one experiences little loss of'significance' after retirement, esp. If retired from a high post in which one is a decision maker and the most imp. Cog in the wheel! it is also true that in the family, one's significance comes down slightly as an individual is weighed by the value system, which is a product of society. Even in your introduction of self and the family, it is clearly visible. Family may not have gone toxic as you may have superimposed that due post retirement blues! as you have mentioned that they are concerned about you. You cannot change them, but accept this transition. It would be wonderful if you are professionally active again giving you financial security, independence. Expectation and frustration. Hope & despair are eternally linked. Obviously one expects from the other in a relationship and esp. When one has been the provider. But life is uneven. So it brings this despair. That is why the parental sacrifices (monetary) which are common in eastern/asiatic world end up giving bitter taste eventually many times. That all actions are self-centered must be whole- heartedly accepted as the origin of all the actions, thought stem from" i" which is individualistic, separated from others (even those related). Accept your'i" and its agenda happily and do not mistrust your family, I is just that they have there own'i' s working!
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