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Hi sir/madam, I'm 21. I want to know whether I'm stable or not. I don't know why I'm like this. I don't know whether I'm normal or not. From a long time I'm suffering from extreme emotions. (I can't explain correctly so I'll day some examples how I feel) For example: when I listen to a song and it is based on friendship I recollect when I spend time with friends and I can't control my feeling. I feel like I want to relive in that moment and I feel like I want to run and search for that moment. That feeling is extreme I can't control that sometimes I feel like I want to cry, sometimes I feel like I want to run and find something. And I used to check things again and again. Example: when I try to put bottle cap. And ill check whether I did it properly or not. I know it placed properly but I can not control myself to check it again and again. I think its not rotated properly so I used to rotate and rotate sometimes the cap has broken because to rotating too tight. I'm trying to do things but I can't. Basically when I feel like I want to become like someone I used to think I'm already like them and enjoying with them and I can completely feel that. For example: I like cricket when someone score a hundred I feel like I did that I use to think what I'll do at that time. And completely thinking about it entire the day. And I can't concentrate on things I'm doing. When I saw a aeroplane I feel like I want to be in that aeroplane and somebody in that plane are enjoying I also want to enjoy like them and I can't control myself I want to go and do something to stay there. I'm day dreamer what I do I'm not doing with focus a situation strikes in my mind and use to think of it continuously. And when I try to start a think I fell like I can't do that so I stop doing it (at beginning or in between) When I saw a negative situation I feel that it happened to my and I know its not good I want to divert my mind but I can't do that. I will try to come out from that situation but I can't. I'm afraid to do a things. If I want to study a topic I think like this I didn't listen to that topic in classes. Can I read it and if I listen to class I think I can read well and if a bought video class of that topic when I try to listen I feel I think its not the correct time to study and according to survey we can concentrate for 15 min only this class is for 1 hour can I listen to it. I think I can't listen to it. I feel like this. But once I'm in that I try to do things better. I didn't said about my feelings to anyone till now. Even my patents also don't know it. I'm facing some situations from my childhood I don't know that makes me a person like this. I feel so sad sometimes I want to cry but I didn't do that. I use to keep that feeling inside me. I'm not living life that I like. From pasy 2 days anger increasing in me. I want to break something in that anger but I think it cost to much so I won't break. When I want to discuss something with my parents they say something but I don't like that. I can't do it against to them. I feel like I'm dying in that problem. And I'm thinking now that I can't spend time with my family because they won't understand me so I'll be alone I like my mother a lot (my father will not do any work my mom take care of me andsisterfrom our childhood) when I try to say something I like and I want to do it she says we can't to that because of financial problem and even though when I show interest to that my mom says you are selfish you don't understand others. But the truth is I always understand others but others don't. I want to do things I like but I don't do that because I know my parents can't afford it and kill my though I'm understanding them but they says I'm not understanding them. My father don't do any work and make us trouble. I feel I'll be like him. Please help me I don't want to live like this and bcoz of text restrictions I can't say totally. Thank you.


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