I have been constantly thinking negative for last 4 to 5 years or say from very young age. I don't know how I formed this habit, I tried to change, read lot of self help books, watched seminars, but nothing changed so much, I want to know the source of my negative thinking because even a 7 to 8 years old kids are very optimistic than me, I was not at all positive during my childhood. I used to get irritate and I was a coward in my childhood and even now I am the same, I want to know whether genes have any effect on thinking How come some people are so optimistic while some like me are pessimistic, Is it a gift of nature. Because kids don't know what thinking is, I want to know whether these thinking ability is genetic or environment My brother and I share same environment but still I am very much negative.

Ms. Juhi ParasharPsychologist4yrs exp

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Hi, These can be possible reasons for a person being negative: Life disappointments Some people become pessimistic as a result of being through so many disappointments. Those people usually expect their misfortune to continue and their future to be an extension to their past. 2 Built up of negative beliefs Our thoughts come from our beliefs. As negative beliefs build up, a person tends to think negativity and assume that the worse will happen. A negative belief in a certain life area can result in pessimism in that same life area. 3 Genetics vs environmental conditions Some studies claim that some people are born pessimists because of certain genes, however, if a person has certain genes they usually don't activate before the person passes through certain experiences. 4 Negative programming The media, friends and family can program a person to think in a certain way. Because of the way messages are repeated over and over, a person's way of thinking can change and he can become a pessimist. 5 Anxiety and worrying promote pessmism A person who worries often and who suffers from anxiety might keep coming up with negative scenarios in his head. Because that person is too afraid of a certain thing he keeps imagining it over and over in his head. 6 Depression causes pessimism A person who gets depressed loses hope in getting what he wants. When a person losses hope he becomes very pessimistic as he can hardly think of any positive scenarios (see why do people get depressed). 7 Religious beliefs affect optimism Most religions promote optimism. A person who believes in a certain religion that asks him to expect the best is more likely to be optimistic than a person who doesn't follow any religion. Assuming that there are no other differences between them. 8 Negativity is contagious People infect each other with negativity. Studies have found that people who see the negative status of their friends on social networks are likely to think negatively even for a short period of time. Pessimism can result from being surrounded by negative people. 9 Low self esteem While some people who have a high self esteem are pessimistic still the low self esteem makes a person think that he can't achieve his goals and as a result he might become pessimistic. The more a person believes in himself the more optimistic he will become (see How to develop self-esteem). 10 Collecting the wrong experience Each person interprets the events that happen to him in a different way. By giving wrong meaning to so many events a person can make so many negative conclusions about life and so assume that the worst is always going to happen. 11 Guilt can lead to pessimism If a person believes he is not good or that he deserves punishment then he might assume that bad things are going to happen to him. It's not uncommon for a person to believe that Karma will come after him for his bad deeds. 12 Self protection At the heart of pessimism can be the desire for self protection. If a person is too scared to try something he might become pessimistic in order to protect himself from ever trying it. The subconscious mind of a person usually uses this trick to keep him away from his fears. Be optimistic in 8 steps: First of all, breath. Before you give more attention to anxiety or bad thoughts that bother you, focus on your breathing, the feeling of the air flow slowly going inside your nostrils and goes down your throat into your lungs. Listen to your heart. Feel your heart beats and imagine it pumping the blood and throwing it back to every part of your body. Continue to do so until you are ready to start meditating. Organize your thoughts. Focus your attention in the thoughts that makes it hard for you. What thoughts are currently on your mind? Are there many of those or is it just one that makes you feel bad everytime? Try thinking about these problems rationally instead of reacting to them emotionally. Don?t try to stop your thoughts. Unlike the wrong idea ? you do not ?empty? your brain from thoughts while meditating. Thoughts are not the enemy and if you try to struggle with them ? you will only make them stronger. Act as if your thoughts are ambient noise. Try to make your brain adapt to thoughts as if they were white noise, like talking in the radio that you hear nearby. You can hear them but not focus on them. Your attention is directed to the fact that you don?t listen to what?s said. Don?t judge your thoughts. They are not ?good? or ?bad?, since everything in your brain is equal. If you treat them with curiosity and forgiveness, it will be easier to handle them. Bring your thoughts back to track. Every Time your mind goes to negative ways, acknowledge that and re-focus into observation. Exercise this for a few minutes. Start at 10 minutes and gradually raise the time. You might feel a bit dizzy at first, because your brain will stop running in circles, but it will work. It?s even possible that you?ll recognize more thoughts then usual while doing it, but actually ? you just got more aware. The more you practice ? the more you can easily handle worries and be in less panic. Hope this helps. 

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