Dear, you don't need sympathy, because sympathy makes people weak. You need motivation. You need to work hard, entertain yourself, play games etc. Because you need to move forward with agility. For many years you suffered with your mental illness. Now onwards, decide to live with dignity. That would be first step towards cure. Secondly you need to take medicines regularly and practice psychotherapy
regularly to calm you. You may contact me in case you want further clarification. Take care.