I am 45 years old married wife is 41 years old. I am Hindu and she is Christian. We had love marriage. We had 2kids son 10years and daughter 6 years old. I am from Allahabad and she is from Kerala. We met in Bombay and got married. After our first son born suddenly she said she want to settle in Kerala. I have to shift otherwise we had lot of problems. Whatever I say always wrong. As I am working in merchant Navy so I am out of family about 6 months. Last 4 years she started gents hostel and she is so busy she does not have time for husband. Now she bring her parents here and they are staying with us. If my parents wants to visit, she gets upset and start fighting with me. She is almost 20 hrs on phone. Avg phone calls is around 240 calls everyday. She is in business with partnership with one person. Who is also married and his wife is in Dubai. And I spend almost 50lakhs for her business. Whenever I ask about money she gets angry and fight with me. She respect everyone who is not related to me. I really fedup. If I say I am fedup and want to die. Nothing wrong. She is just running for money. touch interference with her father and mother in my family. They need to decide everything. Pls help me and let me know what to do. I want to be in peace or die Thks.

Mr. P. RajanPsychologist26yrs exp

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I can understand your distress due to strained relationship. It sounds almost like a break-up which is very painful, but you are not alone. Numerous people in our present society undergo such kind of experiences because more and more women are entering the work force and like to earn money to live more independantly. There is nothing wrong in it. But some of them are unable to maintain a work-life balance and there begins the problem. I understand that you are possessive toward your wife and also expect her to be a traditional wife, i. E. Taking care of the husband, children and the home. But you have to accept that time has changed, life has changed and your wife has changed. You have to also accept the fact that anything or anybody dear to us is subject to change, separate, decay and die. Your children will be the worst affected ones if you stay in this state. Neglecting or treating disrespectfully the parents of a husband is very common in our country. Just ignore it. I suggest you to take your wife (compulsively) to a distant place as a fun trip (of course without the business phone) at least for five days. You try to express your state of mind and the pains you are undergoing and also your very love when she is in a relaxed mood. If you succed in this attempt, I hope, there will be a drastic change in her behaviour. Get more involved in your children, this will give you relaxation and also bring a meaning for your life. Lets hope for the best. 

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