My life is falling apart around me. I go to uni but haven't attended in months. I miss deadlines and seem to be self destructive in every way. I got a diagnosis of clinical depression and anxiety from a GP early December after years of self harming and feeling depressed. I feel like I'm becoming.
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You need to check on your prenatal history and early childhood for influencing factors. You must combine medication with therapy. This is extremely important for your anxiety and depression. I think that you have an anger-related depression and that is why the suicidal ideation is troubling you: life is too precious and you must make very attempt to preserve it, look after it and nurture it to good health. It does not help to have a thyroid problem too in the bargain. Anyway life is full of problems as a norm. Any attempts to escape will never help: you must learn to face these problems every day with good success. The counselor will help you in this regard. I also strongly believe that every crisis offers an opportunity for change, if you seek it and grab the opportunity. Please meet with a counselor and work on your emotions, particularly anger. Exercise is very important but you have to build on it developmentally. I suggest you do the opposite of what this depression makes you feel like doing (actually, not doing): you will need to fight this condition. You must become active; stay upright during the daylight time; meet people; never sleep during the day, wake up by 6 am every day, play some active games, especially contact games, do physical exercises, talk to people and join some social clubs, attend Yoga classes etc. Watch sitcoms on TV or comedies and cheer yourself up. Go for excursions in groups, for outings, camps, conferences, and religious conventions. Get a pet dog and spend time training it, exercising it and relating to it. Expose yourself to some sunlight every day, at least 30 minutes but not in the scotching heat. Whatever happens, please incorporate these three important adaptations in your life: always be responsible, be respectful, and be functional. If you did these three, lots of things will go well in life. Please pray and have faith in God to alleviate your sufferings. Don?t wait for others to help. Use your own motivation, which might be at its lowest, but persevere and win this battle. Above all to be really happy, you need to live in love and for love. Learn all about emotions and how to handle them and that will get you out of the depression rather easily and quickly. A counselor is there only to facilitate you, all the hard word must come from you, and your cooperation with that person is very critical for your success. Be positive everyday and learn to be contended with what you have. Do some left brain exercises: it is the happy brain. Here are a few suggestions: shut your left nostril and breathe, move your eyes from right to left and vice versa for at least half a minute at a time, and do callisthenic exercises with some form of counting, regularly. Whatever happens please cooperate with the therapy and do not discontinue until the condition is completely resolved.
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