I have some problems with relationship. I usually stay calm but sometimes I'm unable to control my rage. I start loosing my temper. Usually it lasts for 5-30 mins. After that I start realizing that I over reacted (shouting and aggressive behavior) Help me how can I overcome this problem.

Ms. Hemal Sanjay KuntePsychologist5yrs exp

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Problems in relationships occur when our expectations do not match with the reality. Each person has certain set of values and beliefs formed, as per his/her own upbringing and life experiences. When these values and beliefs do not match with other person, especially in close relationships, the conflict starts. Unfortunately, our education system does not teach us how to communicate our feelings to the other person without hurting him/her. Every relationship is" give and take" what we give in the relationship is our" cost" and what we get against it is our" reward" when our cost becomes too much compared to the reward, the relationship feels like a burden. And the friction in the relationship increases. It is not possible to have equal cost and reward ratio all the time, but a total imbalance in this ratio makes the relationship weak and unhealthy. Kindly try to learn" assertive behaviour techniques" for better communication. 

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