Hello sir, I am 22 years 8 months old. I am having a problem with my confidence. I feel like i'm very afraid to do something even though tasks are very silly. I try to convince myself a lot like there is nothing fearful in whatever I want to do. But I am not able to convince myself. Examples: 1) I shiver a lot in the interviews even though i'm quite good at speaking. I'm sure I can communicate well. I tried to convince myself a lot but still problem persist. 2) my Girl Friend is avoiding me (It hurts me a lot). And just wanted to know the reason why she had done this to me. I want convince her but I couldn't convince myself to start the conversation. One day I forcefully tried but brain stopped working. Couldn't get right words out of my mouth. Please advise me something. Because of this I couldn't achieve anything great in my life. I feel very low and weak whenever something is bothering me. I read inspiration books and all the motivational stuff a lot. I try to fool my mind nothing worked. Its not like I fail in every situation. Whenever I find something troublesome in my thoughts I just could not overwrite it to be brave or to act like brave. Thank you for letting me share my problem at least.

Mr. P. RajanPsychologist26yrs exp

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I can see a lot of initiatives in your behaviours, which I could rarely see in many individuals of your age group. But, the problem is, may be, due to performance anxiety which hinders your performance and thereby reducing your confidence level. Let me give you a suggestions to overcone your problem. 1. First thing is, you have to understand and accept the fact that everybody at your age has to go through such kind of anxieties in their life. Even officers holding higher ranks experience the same anxiety reactions when facing their superiors for further advancement. The fact is, you are exaggerating the shortcomings. 2. Learn and practice some yoga techniques like asanas, pranayama and meditation from a qualified teacher. This will help you manage your physical arousal due to anxiety such, as rapid heart beat and pulse rate, increased breathing pattern racing of thought etc. To a desirable extent and therby help you remain calm in such situations. 3. Set smaller goals you are trying to achieve, and mentally rehearse a particular activity again and again, for ex. Your interview situation. Also practice mock interviews with the help of your friends/parents or even your teachers. This will help you to face the actual situation in a relaxed manner to a great extent. 4. If you achieve and reach a good position in your career life, your girl friend will automatically fall in line with you (because of your higher confidence level and her increased confidence level too on you). Until then, do not bother about her. All the best. 

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