Hi my friend has shared his problem with me. He is a porn addictive and masturbate daily while watching porn. He is getting married in 2 months and he is very scared. He is unable to quit this habit. Feels pain in penis after masturbation. He is afraid that he will not be able to have better sex life and thinks that he will not be able to satisfy his partner and himself. He is not getting proper erection and also feels that his penis sensitive has decreased a lot. This is affecting his social and personal life. He is closed to 30 years now. He is also being treated for insomnia which has started almost 16 months back. He has to take a sleeping pill every night before going to bed as directed by neurologist. Please help and advise. Thanks.

Ms. Juhi ParasharPsychologist4yrs exp

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Hi, It's not about how often you masturbate, it's about how it affects your life. If you think about it constantly, avoid activities so you can masturbate instead, or chafe your genitals, it's become a problem. But if you can fit your masturbation into a healthy life, there's no limit you need to stay under. Here are few things he can do: Do exercise daily in the evening, this will make you tired at night. And since masturbation is often done at night, so when you are exhausted, you will give preference to sleep not to masturbation. Avoid sitting on your bed. Use a table/chair, and always sit with other people. When the urge is very intense take a cold shower! It is not only shown to calm the mind but have many other benefits to overall health and energy. Think about your family or anyone else and if they were watching you. When you feel the need to masturbate, take a brisk walk or jog. Always try to occupy yourself when the urge arises. Exercise more and get out of the house. This is a great way to take your mind off everything. Motivate yourself by reminding yourself that abstaining will increase sexual performance, because if you don't do it as much you will have more energy and be more easily aroused when you have sex with someone, whoever it may be, and also you will have a stronger orgasm since you are less desensitized to the feeling. For optimum hormone levels, keep masturbation to no more than once a week. Studies in men have shown that not masturbating for up to a week slightly increases testosterone, after this it goes back down. Take your mind off it with (non-sexual) music. Set tiny goals for yourself, start with going three days clean, the third day is the speed bump, get past that and you know that you're committed. Then go a week, then 10 days, then two weeks, then 17 days, etc. Try fasting. Abstain from food or drink in a few hours everyday can distract your mind from sexual urge. Fasting will also act as a diet from stimulating food or drink for a certain period. If you do it regularly you will have better control upon your urge. Not to worry is must. If he keeps worrying about his performance he will have performance anxiety and not perform well as a result of anxiety which will reinforce his belief. Tell him to start doing some meditation and be in control of his thoughts and anxiety. consult for query 

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