After lost my girlfriend I feel working, valueless and aimless lifestyle since 5 years. I can not feel better or normal. Please suggest me some solution about it. Thanks.
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Hi, I understand your situation. Right now it may be looking a big disaster for you but few year down the line these things will not matter. Ending a relationship is hard, whether it was your decision or the other person?s decision. You may be dealing with painful emotions and want to deal with those feelings as quickly as possible. There are several ways that you can work through your painful emotions and start to move on, such as writing about your feelings, allowing yourself to grieve, and being cautious about rebound relationships. Keep in mind that getting over a breakup takes time and patience. If things don?t seem to get better with time, remember that you can always turn to friends, family, or even a mental health professional for support. Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, break away completely from each other right after the breakup. This means not seeing each other, not being around his/her family members, no phone calls, no e-mails, no text messages, no Facebook, and no IMs. You don?t have to have stop talking forever, but you do need to cut all communication for as long as it takes to get completely over your ex. If she tries to convince you to see her, ask yourself honestly what the point would be. If you're reliving the past by seeing her, it's not hard to get caught up in the moment and it will be harder to let go again. You may have to have some contact in order to deal with the practical aspects of things like moving out, signing papers, etc. But try to limit this to what's absolutely necessary, and then keep such calls/meetings short and civil. Organize your space. A breakup can signify a new beginning. Therefore, cleaning and organizing your personal space will leave you feeling refreshed and prepared for the new things to come. A mess can be overwhelming and depressing, and will just add to your stress level. Keeping busy with tidying your space doesn't require a lot of brain power, but it does require just enough focus to keep you from recycling pain. Clean your room, get some new posters, clean up the icons on your PC desktop. As insignificant as cleaning up sounds, it'll make you feel better. Remove painful memory triggers. There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex??a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Having these items around can make it harder for you to recover from a breakup. Remove all of the things that make your heart ache or your stomach turn. It can work wonders to clear your space of all these triggers. If you have a keepsake, such as a watch or piece of jewelry that was given to you by your ex, there's nothing wrong with keeping it. But for the time being, try putting it away until you have gotten over the relationship. Get out and do things. After a relationship ends, it is okay to have some time to yourself at home. Just make sure that you get back out in the world aft you have processed your feelings. Make plans, go out with your friends, and have fun! It might seem awkward at first, but it will get easier and it will help you to feel better. Getting out and doing things is also important because you need to grow and maintain your social network after a breakup. Doing so will help you to move on with your life. Don't feel like you need to go out with other people all of the time. Take yourself out to do things and enjoy the freedom to do what you want. Go to your favorite coffee shop, go shopping, or take yourself on a mini-vacation. Continue to take care of yourself. It is common for people to put less effort into self-care after a breakup, but doing so will not help you to feel better. Make sure that you are seeing to your basic needs for mental, physical, and spiritual well-being. If you were not taking good care of yourself before the relationship ended, now is a good time to start. Make sure that you are eating well, sleeping enough, making time for relaxation, and getting regular exercise to feel your best. Eat a balanced diet that includes plenty of fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. Avoid junk food, excess sugar, and excess fat. Get between 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Keep in mind that some people may be okay with less than 7 hours per night or require more than 8 hours of sleep per night. Exercise for 30 minutes five times a week. Go for a 30-minute walk, ride your bike around town, or hit the pool and go swimming. Relax for at least 15 minutes per day. Try meditation, deep breathing exercises, or yoga to help you relax. Most importantly, you will get over it. It will take time. Trust and have faith. Time heals. I can guide you for any stress. Consult me if you feel overwhelmed with stressÂ
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Hello, I can understand your pain at losing one very important person in life. You probably had hopes of spending long time with her and had plans for the future and now nothing is going to happen. All these thoughts might be causing you sadness, disappointment and some anxiety and anger on the other hand. While it's important to be an important part of someone else's life, yet it's also important to know when to call it off if it's not working anymore. 1. At the age when you broke up it is common for boys and girls to get attracted to each other and spent some time together. But equally common is breakups when one or both see that their needs are too different now and the other person will not fit the requirements any more. While this process is very heart breaking, but it is also important so that you can meet different people and see who is your kind of person and who will help you in the next phase of life ie. Job, marriage children. 2. By going through different relationships you will also understand yourself better and what do you want from a potential partner and discover many hidden qualities and weaknesses in yourself. It's your growing edge to work through your weaknesses and sharpen your qualities. You will also discover your passion, dreams and hobbies and interests. 3. I suggest that you look at this breakup as a learning lesson and an opportunity to improve on any thing that was your mistake and assess your life choices again. What was meant to go will go. Let it go and you carry on with your journey. You are 29 years old and some years later you might start feeling too old to get married and setle. You might feel more lonely than you are feeling already. This leaves a bitter memory of the past and chances are that you will regret staying single for so long. 4. Being flexible and independant in relationships is important. There will be times when you might not have any body's support or company. That is the time to learn to be your own friend and give yourself that love, importance and value which you want from a close friend. This is healthy self love and very important for self confidence and high self esteem. Whether you are in love or not, valuing yourself at all points is a very important aspect of high self esteem and self confidence. 5. Indulge yourself with meeting new people, going places, discovering your passion, hobbies etc. Spend time alone with yourself to nurture the person within you. If you can not do these on your own, then please see a counsellor and take their help to help you get direction back in life.Â
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