Dr. The thing is I have been living alone for about 8 year alone far from my family. I visit them once a year for like 2 or 3 weeks. I am not married yet but I am in a relationship since 2009. At the beginning everything was going well with him and my family too. But now I do not want to be with him. It is being 3 years almost since I lost my feelings for him. I could not break up with him because my mom wants me to merry him as soon as possible. Last year I met a man. And I had an affair with him cause I wanted to be happy. I wanted someone whom I want. He never told me that he was married but I found it latter that hr is married and have two kids. But I could not leave him. I just love him so much. Even from this relationship with him o could not find happiness and all this marrying someone else and being in love with someone I can never get and family forcing me to get married is just killing me inside. I am so sure that I will never live a happy life if I merry the one my mom wants me to. But I never do anything my mom do not want to. Even doing a teaching course is what my parents wanted me to do. I never wanted to be a teacher. But I am doing this for my parents. What I feel is that my life is falling apart. I never deserve to have what I want. And I have changed a lot. I have being so careless about everything even to my self. I do not want to eat, I do not want to see people and have be with them I do not want to have fun. I just love being alone in my room. Being aline makes me more comfortable than being with people. My mom pointed out that I can not control my anger now and I know that too. I get emotional with simple simple thing and I cry alot. I do not know why. Getting angry and being sad always. I just get these feeling out nowhere. It is like I know nothing about my self. I can not control me. The one I had an affair with also love so dearly. I know that and that is the reason ge could not tell me about his marriage. He tried to tell me about it later but I did not believe him aa it is something I never wanted to believe. But now everything is in front of me but I can not leave him and he do not want ro leave me too. I could merry him as his second wife too but my family will never alow it as it will bring bad names to my family and they say that once a cheater always a cheater and I do not believe this. I know this change in my behaviour is not a good thing. But I can not and I could not change it. Another thing is that I never share my feelings with others cause in my heart I believe that no one understands me. No one will ever understand me. Dr. Could you help me or give me some suggestions that I could change my self and be like a happy girl I was before. Thank you.