I am going through a divorce. After 6 months of marriage my husband said he feels incompatible with me and blamed me for everything, despite me trying my level best. I know i shouldn't have tried, seeing that he didn't love me to begin with, but with divorce proceedings starting now, I've lost all confidence in myself, feel depressed and scared of my future. I'm a doctor myself and i immediately don't want to start on medications. Please help.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist48yrs exp

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You did the right thing. Before proceeding to divorce, I do ask both partners to put in their best effort and make every attempt to sort out the differences, and only then to go ahead with the divorce, if it all does not fructify. The reason you need to do this is that you can walk out of the marriage knowing that you did your best and it did not work out for good reasons. You will be clear in your conscience and will have no regrets after the divorce. You will carry your conscience with you always, and an unclear conscience will torment you that you could have done this and that, to save the marriage. Do not feel regret that you tried everything. Now due to the stubbornness of your spouse, it will all end but you have a guilt-free situation. If this was an arranged marriage, perhaps there were irreconcilable differences, but if it was a love marriage, then I think he could have seen these problems earlier. In that case he has been unfair. But he does not deserve any second thoughts: it?s just good riddance to bad rubbish. As quickly as possible, get going with your life. Get rid of all reminders of him, keep talking about the pain to get it out of your system and go out and meet friends. Get into a health routine: exercise well, sleep well, eat well and socialize well. Do not spend time moping about him. Do not be in a hurry to settle down with someone until you have gotten him out of your system, nice and clear. You have done well, and deserve better. You do not need any medication for all this. It is just a temporary phase. 

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