I'm too depressed with my life. I have financial problem. I have 10months old baby. I had an operation to deliver him. So i have health issues as well. I also working due to financial prob. But my mother in law is not helping me. She always care about my husband alone. She dont even care abt me. I will be having work from 6am till 10pm without any rest. But she will not help or do any work. My mother oly is taking care of my baby. My husband is also not supporting me in any ways. Also dont care abt me always care about his mother comfort. All put together i am having lots of pain physically and mentally. So far my husband was so supportive for me but now it has gone. He changed a lot. That's the biggest disappointment for me cant take it. I feel like i lost everything. I feel like committing suicide for past three days. Dont know what to do, my baby in stopping me to do this.
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It is good that your baby stops you from doing anything drastic to your life but it is not the best reason: you must want to live first for yourself. Life is extremely precious and so are you. Your decisions matter to two lives right now. Never give up under any circumstances. You will be proud of yourself one day to know that you came through all this for a worthy cause i.E. Your little child. Be positive, cheerful and hopeful with the implementation of some suggestions that follow. Under the circumstances you describe, it seems difficult but not impossible. Thankfully your mother is there to pitch in. It could have been worse. There may be a few things to keep in perspective: some men tend to become immobilized by their change of role to that of a father. And it is possible that his attachment to his mother may be initiated by his mother herself refusing to cut the apron strings. Besides, the father?s support to his wife?s mothering responsibilities is very essential to your fulfilling your duties with composure. It mostly has to do with the intimidation of the new role. Sometimes, you may have to be firm and insist on your needs, to get some action out of your husband. Otherwise he may become comfortable in the assumption that you can manage. Have a talk with him or seek the help of a marriage counselor to discuss these problems and find a workable way out of this plight. The financial crunch does not help at all and that may be another botheration, not to you alone but to your husband too. However, he cannot and should not abdicate his responsibility. The mother-in-law?daughter-in-law syndrome is a universal problem and may be something you may have to live with. Any attempt to confront that may only escalate and complicate matters for you. I would suggest that you hire a maid (a privilege, thankfully we still enjoy in India) to help with the household work. I know this is an expense but the danger is that you may experience a burnout, if nothing changes. If the need arises, go and stay for a few days with your mother for a break. It is also an opportunity to see if it affects your husband enough, to want you back and assures you of complete extended support. Beware that this does not develop into a game that may backfire into something worse, though.
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You need to be patient with the current situation as you are still in Postpartum situation and is physically and mentally strained. You need to cope up with the situation with patience. Since your husband and in laws are not co-operating with you, you need to speak to them about your illness and condition and speak out with a counsellor and let them be informed of your situation. But make it sure you need time to nurture the baby and as you are not well you need to rest and take good nutrition and rest. You have to improve your Self esteem and be assertive about your needs and not aggressive. If you still find worse contact your own doctor as to what to do.
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