A friend (in her early 30's)is going through a post trauma of her divorce. She has lost her interest in life. How to council her, please suggest?
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Divorce is very painful and difficult. If there was any abuse, it will be even more hurtful. But the earlier she deals with that pain, the earlier will she get out of it. Please make her talk about the marriage until she purges herself of all the negativity. Let her use her own language to describe it, and let her talk extensively. When you are able to spare time, take her out and let her relate to others and the world around her. Gradually she will come out of it. If she broods over the divorce, withdraws, or is unwilling to talk, she could get into more problems. When listening to her, reserve your judgment, and just be a good listener. Occasionally, empathize with her and show a lot of understanding. The worse regret in a divorce is when the person realizes that there was something more that could have been done, but was left without adequate pursuit. This thinking usually follows later when it is too late. If that is the case, she will need to be consoled and know that both of them were responsible but that it is too late. Life has to go on and she has to move on. If she is working, it will be a lot easier, if she attends to her job. Tell her not to meet too many people who knew the couple well, and definitely she should not indulge in bringing out dirty linen. Help her understand the lessons to be learned and the role she played in this downfall. That is extremely important for her recovery.
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