I have been suffering from anxiety and depression. This is extremely prevalent in the morning hours due to which I tend to oversleep and avoid getting up. Even when I do, I feel overwhelmed about how the day would seem like. This slowly gets better as the day passes and I feel much better in the evening when my day has ended. It could be work related, fear of authority, possibility of an unexpected call from a superior basically anticipation of any issue which may be unpleasant or requires a change for me. I tend to also suffer from social anxiety, refrain from talking to people, prefer emails or chat over voice calls. I tend to blank out over calls, avoid talking when many people are on the call and refrain sharing my views even if I have one. It is always a sense of fear, being judged or the feeling of creating a bad perception with my bosses. This has made me withdraw more and more over the days. I have very few friends but not close enough to discuss these issues or confide in them. These issues have manifested recently in the last 4-5 years. I have visited a psychiatrist earlier and am on a mild antidepressant. Counselling did not work for me as I am very judgemental and find it difficult to trust people. I am in a better mood on weekends but I cannot enjoy them with a thought of a monday coming up which constantly lingers in my mind. Basically any positivity is mulled by a negative thought. Though I have had a fairly successful career, I have always felt that things have never worked for me. I am married and share a great rapport with my wife but internally, I am a bisexual with a stronger affinity to me which makes it difficult for me and the guilt persists. My son is on the autism spectrum and this is another factor that bothers me. My father (who passed away in 2009) was always a very head strong and dominating person and somewhere I feel that his domination during my childhood has been one of the factors of my not being able to express and low self esteem. My mother who was very close to me passed away last year. Overall, I have been suffering internally, not able to vent out. Sharing this with my wife would upset her more as she is already overwhelmed worrying about my son's future. I feel this is affecting my health, feeling sleepy, drowsing, drained physically and mentally and wishing that it would be a long night and I never have to wake up - though it has never been suicidal. But this is not something that I want to live with and wish to have a peaceful and happy mind.