I want to forget someone. The more I want to forget, the more I get close to her. But this is harming my life. How do I get rid of her in my dreams and in real lyf?

Question

1.Give yourself time and understand that this too shall pass. These words might be difficult for you to swallow, and maybe even sound insensitive. Breaking up is tough, even if you're the one that left the relationship. But it's important to acknowledge that life goes on and that the pain you are feeling is a natural part of the human heartbreak and the healing process. ? Each person takes a different amount of time to process strong emotions. Respect the time you may need to process this emotional change. ? Though healing is an individual process, some studies assert it may take you up to 11 weeks before you finally feel free of the potent emotions associated with your romance. 2.Start a new project or take up a hobby. Even if you aren't particularly talented at it, the distraction provided by something new will help you turn your thoughts from your ex. Now that you're out of that relationship, it's time for you to rediscover what makes you happy and do it. ? Exercise and enjoy associated mood boosting benefits. ? Use art as therapy, which may be especially helpful if you are still uncomfortable expressing your feelings in words. ? Raise a pet or plant, as having a living thing depend on you can lessen your feelings of depression. 3.Learn to distinguish between the imagined and the actual. Sometimes, post breakup, it can be easy for you to only think of your past lover in a way that is more perfect than is possible. Try to identify where you've allowed yourself to believe something unrealistic, like when you tell yourself that you'll never find love again. ? Think about your ex in terms of the positive, past tense feelings you used to have. Separating what was from what is can change your negative feelings for the better. 4.Hold no resentment. Despite everything that's happened, bring yourself to truly forgive your ex. If possible, go up to the person and tell him/her that you have been deeply hurt, but you forgive them for any negatives, both those perceived and real. This will help you to let go, and relieve you from the cycle of negative emotions so common in breakups. 5.Use your logic to beat the blues. If your ex wasn't the best partner, getting over the breakup should be easier. Even though you might be hesitant to tarnish the good memories you hold precious, it can help you to focus on the healthier place you are in. In what ways can you now grow now that you are out of your relationship? Looking toward these can go a long way toward helping you feel better. ? In the event you ex is genuinely a good person, be happy that you had the opportunity to meet. Remember that everyone that comes into our lives can be a potential teacher. 6.Keep the faith. It's easy to become bitter or fall into negative patterns, but remember, that will not make you happier. Allowing yourself to feel your feelings does not mean becoming a slave to them. Reexamine your personal philosophy. Are you the sort of person who gives in to negativity? Will you allow your ex to exert this emotional control over you even after your breakup? Recognize your own emotional responsibility in the matter; you won't be able to blame your ex for your heartbreak forever.

Ramneek Gupta · Accepted Answer

1.Give yourself time and understand that this too shall pass. These words might be difficult for you to swallow, and maybe even sound insensitive. Breaking up is tough, even if you're the one that left the relationship. But it's important to acknowledge that life goes on and that the pain you are feeling is a natural part of the human heartbreak and the healing process. ? Each person takes a different amount of time to process strong emotions. Respect the time you may need to process this emotional change. ? Though healing is an individual process, some studies assert it may take you up to 11 weeks before you finally feel free of the potent emotions associated with your romance. 2.Start a new project or take up a hobby. Even if you aren't particularly talented at it, the distraction provided by something new will help you turn your thoughts from your ex. Now that you're out of that relationship, it's time for you to rediscover what makes you happy and do it. ? Exercise and enjoy associated mood boosting benefits. ? Use art as therapy, which may be especially helpful if you are still uncomfortable expressing your feelings in words. ? Raise a pet or plant, as having a living thing depend on you can lessen your feelings of depression. 3.Learn to distinguish between the imagined and the actual. Sometimes, post breakup, it can be easy for you to only think of your past lover in a way that is more perfect than is possible. Try to identify where you've allowed yourself to believe something unrealistic, like when you tell yourself that you'll never find love again. ? Think about your ex in terms of the positive, past tense feelings you used to have. Separating what was from what is can change your negative feelings for the better. 4.Hold no resentment. Despite everything that's happened, bring yourself to truly forgive your ex. If possible, go up to the person and tell him/her that you have been deeply hurt, but you forgive them for any negatives, both those perceived and real. This will help you to let go, and relieve you from the cycle of negative emotions so common in breakups. 5.Use your logic to beat the blues. If your ex wasn't the best partner, getting over the breakup should be easier. Even though you might be hesitant to tarnish the good memories you hold precious, it can help you to focus on the healthier place you are in. In what ways can you now grow now that you are out of your relationship? Looking toward these can go a long way toward helping you feel better. ? In the event you ex is genuinely a good person, be happy that you had the opportunity to meet. Remember that everyone that comes into our lives can be a potential teacher. 6.Keep the faith. It's easy to become bitter or fall into negative patterns, but remember, that will not make you happier. Allowing yourself to feel your feelings does not mean becoming a slave to them. Reexamine your personal philosophy. Are you the sort of person who gives in to negativity? Will you allow your ex to exert this emotional control over you even after your breakup? Recognize your own emotional responsibility in the matter; you won't be able to blame your ex for your heartbreak forever.