I am 23 years old unmarried female and currently. M pursuing my master's from literature. When I was growing I always saw my mother crying on small things. (she's diabetic) I am younger in my house. Always pampered and loved. I understand this. But there are certain things in me that make me go mad. I feel completely lonely even I feel uncomfortable sharing things with my friends because they feel I am the kind of person who's always crying. But I'm never so. I have become this since 4-5 years and things are growing severe. I feel like I got no friends to listen to me. Even I feel ashamed to share things because thy make fool of me even at home my cousins do the same. I started sharing this to my boyfriend and he also is now irritated by me. And it all started there only as far as I remember. My boyfriend's situation was very bad. His father died his mother got mad his family is always fighting for a property. And he's also studying. All the time I listened to his problems and even was by his side but now he also doesn't understand me and keep on repeating that I need the only sympathy. But it's not so. I just need someone to listen to me. My mother also thinks that I am escaping from household work and all the time sleeping or using phone (i use to watch unnecessary videos and fb posts I keep on scrolling. Even when the phn gets discharged I plug in the charger and repeat the action.) I hardly sleep at night. Sometimes even I sleep at 5 in the morning. I'm often caught in fights with my mom. Which I seriously don't like at all. I can't study at all I was a good student back then. But now I hardly open my book .its only at the time of one month before exm under pressure I study only things important for exms. This is certainly hampering me as a person and my future too. My father lost his job too so we are facing some financial issues too but anyhow my grandfather's pension is a big relief and that's the money we get to use monthly expenses. This should motivate me to be more serious in my future. Which happens. But I could not concentrate at my studies also. Some times I want to end my life too because it feels I'm dear to no one and I am good for nothing. Even now I fumble and feel a loss of words while conversing with anyone even with known and ones also with whom I was once close. I feel a problem of expression. I know the answer sometimes in class but I'm not able to express myself. please doctor help me out. The most problematic thing with me is tht I over think. Evn at small and stupid matters which makes me absent-minded. I managed to get a diet and an exercise routine. Since a year or two. But unfortunately, I'm not able to follow it. M vry bad at making even small decisions like what should I wear today. This also freaks me out. (only an example) thr ate many more things in day to day life that I figured not to be normal. please help me out.