Good evening doctor, I am 36 years old. I am short-tempered and impulsive too. What should I do get rid of this?
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1. Approve it / Acknowledge it: The first step in solving a problem is recognizing that you have one. The fundamental problem here is that people believe they are on the right track and refuse to budge from their views. It is essential to realize that this step is not about deciding whether you are right or wrong, but acknowledging the fact that your reaction to the situation can be channelled in a better way. When getting someone to acknowledge their anger problem, be careful as to not use negative words like wrong, false and shouldn't. Instead, influence with positive words like can and should. Instead of saying 'You are wrong to react like this', you can say, 'I understand what you are feeling. Is there a way we can resolve this situation?' 2. Understand / recognize the signs: Once you know that your problems exist, you can try devising ways that will work for you in dealing with the situation. You can count to 100 to calm yourself or simply decide to not speak until you can calm yourself. Knowing that you may enter into an argument in a situation, you can list down the points that you feel strongly about and discuss each of them one by one. Working your way through a finite list gives a better opportunity to reach closure at the end. 3. Free the mind/Find ways to let it go: Not all arguments end in closure. A lot of unsaid justifications cloud our mind repeatedly leaving us seething from the inside. Research has shown that the normal or neurological anger response lasts less than two seconds. Beyond that it takes a strong will to stay angry. Once you realize how much your anger is consuming your mind, decide to free your mind with meditation and other calming exercises. Tell yourself that some people and issues simply don't deserve your anger, emotion, reaction or time. If you or someone you know is suffering from anger management issues, consult a doctor today.
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