I am a 22 year old man! I know a girl of my city from last 5 years! I like her so much tat every day or rather every moment she passes through my head. Now the situation is that she is into relationship with someone else from last couple of months which I came to know from someone else at first and than she clarified. That moment I confessed my feelings to her! But she as usual recommended of being friends. Now the situation is so worst that I am not able to stop thinking about her. I am not able to cope up with any other girl. It?s like I want her only which of course I know I won?t get in this lifetime but suicidal thoughts are coming to my mind. I am not able to bear the hurt and pain that I am going through. I want to cry but don?t have shoulder to cry on. She tested me twice after all that incident but I try to act stronger in front of her although from inside I am totally broken. May god be with her. She avoided me 5 times when I had expressed my feelings rather than keeping in my mind forever. 1st time was when there was her farewell and she was going london she did?t meet me one to one inspite of several attempts by me. And she also hid tat educational thing of London from me until and unless it became finalized for her. 2nd time she had came to india from london for a marriage of her cousin she was in Ahmedabad as well as jamnagar but she never tested me until she was back to London! 3rd time there was no 3rd time sex. I have seen her only once precisely in January 2017 in these 1.5 years. I don?t know why I love her but I seriously do. I have already did certain things which she ain?t aware of like stopped drinking alcohol, stopped tobacco & drugs. Started doing workout in gym and of course stopped talking with her. But will all dis help? I have my exams due in 20 days! Will I pass my exams of Chartered Accountancy? Will I see ever again? Or will I die doing suicide? Please enlighten me up.

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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The chartered accountancy exam and course is very tough. You need to devote all your attention and energy to that. I like that you have made so many positive changes just for this elusive girl. However, it does not bode well with the extent of your obsession around her. In fact I must say that you are not suitable for her or any other girl if you behave like this. No girl is worth dying for, especially if she is not interested in you. Your parents have brought you up to live and make a good life out of this opportunity. If that is threatened by a girl who is not in favour of you, then you are really disregarding all the effort and love of your parents. Life is extremely precious. You don't even know why you love her so much. That itself indicates that you lose yourself around her and can't see life without her. True love must usher in life not threaten it! There may be some issues in your personality that makes you want her so much and it seems like fulfills you. Please meet with a counselor and deal with those before you do something silly. I would be worried for any girl who wants a relationship with you if you are so weak around them. It looks like you are pining for her after the break up. Have you analyzed why you two had this fallout? Since she is not amenable you may have done something quite unforgivable. There must be love, respect, commitment, honesty, trust, and freedom in the romantic scene. Since this appears to be final, then remove all associations of hers: gifts, notes, letters, cards, emails, and any reminders to get her out of your system, not just the mind. Keep the good memories but don?t indulge in them. Get back to your old pals and revive those contacts. Normally when we get a girl friend, we drop all our friends and live exclusively with her. This is not a good thing to do, generally. So do get back to them and get into good social circles. They will help you get over her. Do not talk ill or malign your ex to your friends, whatever was the reason. That is unfortunately a very bad habit many of us have ? we must still respect her reputation and treat her with dignity. Since this break up is so serious for you that suicidal thoughts are also plaguing you, do meet up with a counselor and talk about your feelings, openly. This is not the end of the world and she is not the only girl in life. You will find another but learn not to repeat the mistakes that led to the breakup. This time choose wisely and behave like a true gentleman.  

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