Dear Doctors, I always feel insecure and I be impatient about the things and my relatives or bf. Few have suggested me not to express my love in words, they also told me to hide my needs and anger from the people shok I love, they advice to speak less. But the problem is that I can't do it any more as suppressing myself and hiding my feelings and anger is hurting me like hell. And I can't take it as a justified statement that I should not reveal my needs to my own people, I feel my own people including my bf should be the first one to know about all my needs. Why do I have to hide my nature from my own people to keep them there in my life. I really want them to be with me till I die but I just can't suppress myself like this any more. What do I do please suggest.

Ms. Pallavi PatankarPsychologist13yrs exp

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You need to vent out your feelings and Thoughts by practicing different strategies. First of all identify your thoughts which make you angry. You must be holding some demands n expectations from urself and others. Ask urself can you change or hold other's thinking n behavior? Then what can you change? Can you change ur thoughts n perception? Think practically n rationally. It always helps to remain calm. Anger is a bunch of lots of emotions. Therefore to work on anger, first you need to learn to manage all negative thoughts n emotions. Practice different relaxation techniques, yoga, deep breathing, stretching exercises to relax urself. Learn to express ur needs n feelings in a constructive and assertive way. so that it won't affect ur relations still ur closed ones will understand what u need n feel. 

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