My mom aged 55 yrs staying alone and does not want to visit any on of us (2 brothers 1 sister). Post marriage she underwent depression by thinking we betrayed her and no more behaving like her son's. Father expired 15 years ago. She complains abnormal heart beat, anxiety and always cries for money and expenses. She is not listening to us and very stubborn. She is diabetic patient. I want to take her for psychological counselling but she is not ready. How to tackle this type of situation? Could you please suggest?

Dr. Saul PereiraPsychologist47yrs exp

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She must have missed, and is probably missing her husband, a great deal. Then she may have relied on you children. But after marriage she thinks that your devotion to your spouses means that she is no longer important to all of you. May be a bit of old school thinking! you will need to make her feel wanted and important even if you are all married. Her illnesses are her way of getting your attention. Knowing this you must give her a lot of attention for healthy reasons and assure her of your love always. Now to practically solve this problem you must visit her on a long trip and stay with her and make a lot of fuss over her, and very smartly invite a counselor over to the house. Let that person handle the situation after you have briefed the individual about her background. While she wants your attention she may play games around it and complain because she is missing all of you and her husband. So keeping this in mind be soft, caring, and loving with her. If you are all in the same town or nearby, make it a point that one of you are always there in turns so that she will not feel lonely. Then over a period of time just take her back with you to each house so that she has a variety of experiences of your love in a variety of homes and she will gradually get better. Any way your counselor will advise you further. 

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