Hello doctor. I am in relationship. But I am very insecure about my boyfriend. I don't allow my bf to talk to any girl ever his friends, my friends n even my cousins too. I can't tolerate that. I just want that he must talk with me only not any other girl. Because my thinking is like he talk to any girl he will give importance to her also. But I want him to be mine only. He is too humble. Too kind hearted, he loves me so much even after my so much restrictions he never question me. WHY' like why I am not allow him to do so. He just obey my opinion my wish. He leave his all friends in girls ka becoz of me. Sometimes I curse myself that is becoz of me he is alone. He left his social circle his friends in girls jz because of me I think that I am responsible for his loneliness and spoil his life n even don't allow him to enjoy his college life with friends n social circle. M very fed up from myself. He is suffering due to my suspicious nature. N jz bcoz I would not have any problem any insecurity any stress he leaves everyone. Mostly boys don't do that. Bt he did. Sometimes I am fed up from my nature that why I don't allow him to talk to any girl. What's wrong with me doctor? Why m like this. Why I am doing so. I need to get out of it. I want to. Bt how?
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I presume your insecurity is due to assumptions and not based on factual evidence. Also you identify your life based on this relationship. That is like giving up on yourself. Please know that you are the most important person in your life. Your growth intellectually, emotively, physically and financially is based on your efforts. A relationship is an attempt such that this self growth in both people can be empowering. In case you forget your own growth it is not possible. Growth comes from you. The ability to use it for others comes from relationship. If you get obsessed with a relationship there is no time and energy for growth of self. Thus, you will only bother about the irrelevant and superficial needs. Finally this results in priorities being skewed. Thus years will pass with this behaviour. Your maturity intellectual growth get affected and you remain and immature person identifying with a relationship. Important: focus on your growth. Every thing else will fall into place.
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