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I am a 21 y/o girl currently entering my final year of Engineering. Due to family problems, I have, for the past 7 years, battled with:(1) Constant thoughts of worthlessness and deep hatred towards myself; constantly blaming myself when anything goes wrong (2) Constant worrying about the future as I can not seem to find my purpose in terms of a career (3) Inability to concentrate at tasks and poor recalling ability (4) My mind getting covered by a thick "blackness" that makes me feel nauseous and make me unable to remember or understand during times of extreme stress (like exams, leading to poor grades) (5) Difficulty in articulating my thoughts (6) Loss of interest in reading and dancing, which I used to enjoy earlier and inability to maintain interest in any hobbies (7) excessive eating when feeling sad or numb (8) Feelings of intense sadness; randomly crying due to hopelessness followed by complete numbness. I was a very bright student in school but now i'm struggling to finish Engineering with decent grades. I have already gone thorough episodes in the past where situations made the above symptoms so severe that I almost attempted suicide thrice but somehow pulled myself back. My parents have always told me to become stronger and that this will pass, but I have been able to "snap out of it" despite my best efforts. I would like to know: what exactly is wrong with me? And what are the exact steps I should follow for treatment if any? Please guide me.


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