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Foreplay refers to the preliminary acts preceding the sexual intercourse. Foreplay isn’t given much importance although it is the crucial part of the entire sexual experience.
Why is it important?
Biological Perspective: From the biological perspective, it is extremely important, especially for a woman to indulge in foreplay. Foreplay enhances the arousal, thus causing the erection of the clitoris. The clitoris functions similar to that of the penis. The rushing of blood to the clitoris leads to its erection which is necessary to achieve an orgasm. Foreplay also elicits vaginal wetness which makes the proceeding penetrative sex easier and painless for both, the man and the woman. The lack of vaginal wetness causes the sexual intercourse to be rather painful and sometimes involve some amount of bleeding. Contrary to the popular myth, foreplay is equally important for both the sexes. According to research, men and women both reported of achieving better orgasms when there was a greater build-up of sexual arousal.
Psychological Perspective: From the psychological perspective, foreplay instills the feeling of security and causes less vulnerability. The lack of foreplay apparently gives a sense of being neglected and denies the emotional assurance needed by most. Research shows foreplay enhances the relationship of the couple outside the bedroom. Foreplay is essentially important in long term relationships as it helps in enhancing the feelings of togetherness. Foreplay is also important in letting the partner feel they have your attention and care. It is essential in instilling psychological security and emotional wellness.
Also, it is necessary to achieve mutual pleasure from the sexual act and hence, attention must be given to the need of both the partners for a fulfilling experience. Foreplay is important in achieving orgasm, especially for women who do not necessarily achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex. With everything said and done, there is nothing wrong with an occasional skipping of the foreplay if that is what both the partners want. It is important to see what each partner is getting out of the entire sexual experience and work according to it.
Tips to have a great foreplay-
- Aim for the area around the lips: People mostly focus on the plump part of the lips, ignoring a sensual, arousing sweet spot which borders the lips. Your lips and its periphery contain several blood vessels. Slowly brushing through that area will give you a tingling, almost ticklish sensation that will run through your spine.
- The little triangle: The entire neck region is a highly erogenous spot. This includes the ears and the spot behind it, the neck and the shoulders. However, the junction where the collarbone meets your neck, the little triangle, has a thinner skin enveloping it. Linger around the spot a little longer maybe, before running down to the more obvious erogenous regions.
- Trail the thighs: The area around your thighs is home to one of the most explosive nerves that can simply make your breath go into hyper-drive. Start with supple, soft kisses around your thighs, with stray light strokes. This excites your genital area more because the nerves on the thighs directly lead to the genitals. This move will probably have your partner asking for more.
- Talk dirty: This act can have your partner flying off the handles if done right. You may want to test the temperature first in order to know what degree of talks does your partner like. Whether he is into low-key dirty talks or full-blown adjectives.
Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it is no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.
How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?
A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.
What is the reason for this difference in responding?
Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy. In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.
Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.
The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1,900 men and 2,500 women were a part to come to this conclusion. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
Infertility is a bigger issue than it was a couple of decades ago, and it is only going to get worse. The decreasing sperm count and quality are the main contributors for infertility. This has happened due to the changing lifestyle with lack of physical activity, increased stress, relationship issues, a greater amount of pollutants, and digital exposure. These are some of the common issues, and each couple presents a unique case.
There is, however, good news in that there are simple, effective ways to improve sperm count and density, which in turn can help cure infertility.
- Smoking: Nicotine harms the body in multiple ways and lowering sperm count is one of the significant ones. For most men going to infertility clinics, stopping smoking is one of the first prescribed remedies. It helps sex drive, boosts sperm count, improves performance, and leaves the couple happy.
Reduce Chemical Exposure: There are plastics all around us. These plastics contain BPA and phthalates which have been shown to reduce sperm count. Plastics have entered all areas of life in the last 40 to 50 years, and it is during the same time that sperm count has reduced by (hold your breath) 50%!!!
Reduce Plastic Use: Reduce plastic use in all forms – from sex toys to plastic food storage to water containers. Chemicals also need to be reduced in terms of eating foods where pesticides would be used. Another source of chemicals is the shampoos, soaps, deodorants, cosmetics, and other toiletries. Try organic products as much as possible. These have an adverse effect on the sperm count.
Water: Avoid chlorine exposure – be it in tap water, bleach or other products. Hydrogen peroxide is a safer option.
- Diet: Reduce caffeine intake. Avoid grilled foods. Increase fresh fruits and vegetable intake. Eat whole grains. Avoid canned and packaged foods. Avoid processed and half-cooked foods. Reduce refined carbohydrates. If required, talk to a doctor and get vitamin C and zinc supplements. These are essential for the formation of testosterone hormone and can play a role in improving sperm count.
Exercise: A regular exercise of about 30 minutes daily is highly beneficial in improving overall circulation and increasing sperm count. A word of caution, though – over-exercise can lead to reduced sperm counts and infertility in males.
Stress Management: Another major reason for infertility, reduced sex drive, reduced sperm count, and poor sexual performance is stress. Be it exercise or music, meditation or cooking, identify what works to keep you calm and do it.
Check your Medical Kit: There could be some medicines which may be helping you curing one disease but could be leading to infertility. Talk to a doctor and if there is a culprit, switch to a safer drug.
Research proves that exercise is a great way to improve sexual function in both men and women. Whether one suffers from sexual problems like erectile dysfunction or may just want to improve their sex life, exercising the sex muscles is effective in both cases. A particular group of muscles function together and are involved directly in the process. Exercising these muscles will naturally increase the flow of blood to your penis and help improve sexual performance.
Here are ways to exercise which prove to be effective in enhancing your sex life:
1. Exercising the core muscles
This type of exercise aims at strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. An easy way to locate these muscles is to stop the flow of urine midway or to hold one's bladder when one needs to pee. Keeping the muscles contracted for a period of ten seconds and relaxing them completes one cycle. This exercise helps improve erection and control your orgasm better by strengthening the core muscles.
2. Exercising the supporting muscles
The second exercise involves pushups. Without this exercise, the other muscles might become tired and one may not be able to achieve sexual fulfilment. This exercise tends to improve the strength of one's abs, lower back, shoulder, chest, arms, legs and buttocks. The muscles in the aforementioned body parts are the supporting sex muscles which work together to make the act more fulfilling. A set of 10 or 20 pushups, three times a day is recommended.
3. Exercising to enhance flow of blood to all body parts
Rebounding on a mini trampoline for at least 10 minutes a day can improve one's sexual performance to a great extent. It is important that one engages in the act carefully so as to avoid injury or accidents. This exercise is both fun and easy. It helps to increase the circulation of blood to all areas of the body and helps to strengthen the pelvic, abdominal muscles, hip and leg muscles. This exercise also helps to overcome lethargy. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist and ask a free question.
Sir/madam I feel uncomfortable while I am in front of a lot of people. Especially when attending functions etc. I prefer not to go for such functions and I can't (or I don't want to socialise with people). I prefer staying at my home rather than any other place. I feel a lot of mental stress while I think I am being noticed by people. Its like a lot of tension is developing in me. Can you tell what is my exact problem?
Your lifestyle habits can affect the size and growth of your male member, leading to anxiety problems and negative body image issues. Starting from the contraceptive pill in the 60s to modern cosmetic surgeries, man fabricated immense changes to our natural course of copulation. Cosmetic surgeries such as breast enlargement surgeries, liposuction and surgeries pertaining to the genitals are getting increasingly popular. Yet, the availability of such procedures have led to a plethora of myths.
The following are some of those:
Myth 1: Supplements, pills and creams will help: If the commercials on television have made you consider using supplements, pills or any other such ways to increase the girth of your penis, then think again. These remedies or medicines don't work and it is possibly a scheme to strip you off your hard earned money.
Myth 2: Lengthening with weights is a good idea: Contrary to popular belief, stretching your penis with weights won't help. Yet, it is somewhat possible to stretch your penis by hanging weights off it, but that would require a scary amount of dedication. Strapping weights off your penis for more than eight hours a day for seven long months may perhaps increase the length of your penis. But that is not medically proven or advised. In fact, there is high risk of injuring your penis.
Myth 3: Using vacuum pumps can make it happen: Vacuum pumps are cylinders that suck out air. The penis is put in it and the pump draws extra blood into it, making it erect and slightly bigger. After that, the penis is clamped with a tight, ring which prevents the blood to flow back. The only catch though is that the erection lasts as long as the ring is on. And using it in excess of 20 minutes, can lead to tissue damage. Having said all this, one may opt for penile surgery, keeping in mind various side effects. The reality is that 2 to 3 inches of penile length is sufficient to physically satisfy your partner.
Sex has nothing to do with size. It is just how you handle your partner, which actually is more important.
Now a day firstly I got good erection but when I start sex it will Gon, I am confused what happened.
Hello sir, I am 30 years old and masturbating from very long back. I have just married and had continuous sex. But even after one month my wife is not able to conceive pls guide me.
Hi, I was an occasional drinker. However off late my drinking has increased and now I drink almost everyday. Eventhough my intake is something like 2 beers at most a day, I have it almost every day. I would like to restrict this habit and be a social drinker. How can I prevent myself from being a full blown alcoholic and control this urge for alcohol.
Ejaculation can be considered premature if it happens within 1 minute of penetration or if you are unable to control your ejaculation. There are several reasons that can contribute to premature ejaculation like performance anxiety, excessive excitement, relationship issues and hypersensitivity of the skin. To treat premature ejaculation, it is important to determine the cause and stress that can be a potent reason that is preventing you from 'lasting' long. Premature ejaculation can be life long or acquired.
The effects of stress on the mind
Stress can create havoc in your life and it is closely related to sexual dysfunctions. It is caused not only by rigorous emotional turmoil, daily factors like work or school can also lead to continuous stress, which may pile up to have a profound effect on your mind and body. Stress tends to alter the brain chemistry by triggering hormones like Cortisol, Norepinephrine, Serotonin and many others that signal the nervous system and endocrine to put the body in a state of anxiety which leads to weakening of the ejaculation reflex arc.
The effects of stress on the body
Increased level of stress causes the heart rate to drop and the body is stimulated to produce excess blood sugar, adrenalin and chemicals. If your stress is caused due to work, your body will respond to it by diverting blood towards the important organs like hands and legs and your concentration might also improve under stress. However, stress can diminish your ability to enjoy sex, heighten your sensitivity to stimulation and pain and increase impotence.
How stress causes premature ejaculation
Stimulation of the sympathetic nerves and hormonal imbalance caused by stress create an urge to ejaculate. Generally, this urge is enhanced by mental and sensory stimulation till orgasm is reached. One is likely to engage in sex with an amplified urge to ejaculate because the nerves have already been exhausted which leads to an early climax. Men with premature ejaculation has shown significant impact on self esteem and self confidence and many people confirm high levels of anxiety connected to sexual or intimate situations with a partner.
In a recent-published survey investigating the female partner's perception of premature ejaculation and impact on relationship break ups, relationship quality and sexual satisfaction among females, many of them confirmed that premature ejaculation was the main reason for break ups.
Hormonal disturbances in Thyroid, Prolactine, Erectile dysfunction, Penile anomalies, Prostate disease, Lower urinary tract infection can also cause premature ejaculation.
Reducing stress is an important step to cure premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation can be treated with medications, counseling, diet and exercises.
Sexual Satisfaction - Quantity V/S Quality
Sexual satisfaction plays a very important role in a romantic relationship. It has been linked with lower divorce rates, more intimacy, and long lasting relationships. Sexual satisfaction in men and women is negatively affected by various factors such as heart diseases, Thyroid, and depression, among others. So it can be said that overall, physically and mentally, healthy people experience greater amounts of sexual satisfaction.
Sexual satisfaction mainly depends on two things for most couples - the quality of sex and the frequency at which they have it.
Quantity - The quantity of sex is a relative term as it varies from person to person. Sex encapsulates a lot of things such as oral sex, stimulation of the genitals, kissing and caressing. For some genital stimulation may count as sex whereas for others it may not count as a sexual act. It also varies according to the age of the person and the relationship. In usual cases, the sexual frequency between two partners tends to be higher in the early stages while gradually diminishing with time. However, when talking about quantity, the frequency of sex leading to satisfaction varies from couple to couple.
Quality - Quality of sex essentially means the gratification and satisfaction that one experiences during and after sexual intercourse. Quality of sex is linked with feelings of well-being and increased levels of love for the partner. Communication plays a major role in this regard such as deciding on the sexual positions that would lead to more gratification. Making compromises like stepping out from the usual and experimenting according to your partner's wishes may also help in improving the quality of sex.
Though most studies reveal that women are more inclined towards the quality of sex, and men prefer quantity. But in reality, which of the two will give greater satisfaction solely depends on you and your partner's preferences.
Related Tip: Alcohol And Its Effect On Sexual Life