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Shobha D Satpute
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Dear madam I am currently working as a teacher in international school. Sometime the teenage students I feel upset 11th and 12th students the students are more rich how to handle effectively them and I want to lead a happy in each and every minute.
All individuals get nervous or anxious at some point of time or the other due to a plethora of reasons. But for some individuals, anxiety becomes so frequent and forceful, that it overpower their lives. Normal anxiety is often short lived, but the feeling may last for few hours. However, an anxiety problem becomes an anxiety disorder when anxious feelings are very intense and last for weeks or months. Anxiety disorder exists in different forms like panic attacks, social anxiety and phobia.
The most common form of anxiety is Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) during which an individual worries too much about everyday things and situations, both large and small. The person in this condition has persistent anxious thoughts on most days of the week, for six months. Moreover, the anxiety is so overpowering that it interferes with daily life and is coupled by noticeable symptoms like fatigue. The anxiety level goes to such an extent that causes a lot of dysfunction and suffering. If a person suffers from sleep problems and finds himself regularly awake and agitated or worried, then it is a tell-tale sign of generalized anxiety disorder. This is followed by a situation when one wakes up overstimulated with mind racing and one is unable to calm down.
When the anxiety is tied to a specific situation and the fear is overwhelming and out of proportion to the actual risks then the condition is phobia. This can be due to anything ranging from crowd, animals to flying in an aeroplane or using an escalator. Muscle tension like clenching of jaw or fists or flexing of muscles though out the body always accompanies anxiety disorders. Regular exercise can help keep muscle tension under control, but the tension may get triggered up if an injury or other unforeseen event disrupts a person's workout habits. Panic disorder is repeated, unexpected panic attacks where one encounters panic in a situation where most people wouldn’t be afraid. Anxiety also leads to chronic digestive problems like cramping and bloating of stomach.
Social phobia or social anxiety disorder occurs when one develops an intense fear of being judged or embarrassed in public. People with social anxiety disorder have a tendency to worry for weeks leading to an event or situation. When and if they manage it, they tend to be deeply uncomfortable and are always judgemental about it. In case of social anxiety disorder, the anxiety is triggered by everyday situations like one-on-one conversation at a get-together, or eating and drinking in front of small group. The person feels that everybody is watching him and experiences profuse sweating, trembling, nausea and person becomes tongue-tied. These disruptions make it hard for the person to meet new people and maintain relationships.
Panic disorder causes terrifying panic attacks when the person experiences a sudden gripping feeling of fear and helplessness which lasts for several minutes. It is generally accompanied with scary symptoms like breathing problems, a pounding heart, numb hands and sweating.
Excessive fear of being separated from home or a loved one is separation anxiety disorder. Post -traumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder in which the patient relives a disturbing or traumatic event like a violent encounter, the sudden death of a loved one.
An anxiety disorder affects the thinking, feelings as well as behaviour of a normal person. It’s important to seek professional help if one see any of the warning signs of anxiety disorders in an individual.
Good health is indeed the key to success. If you were of the idea, that health is a biological factor that you are born with and that can be altered or rectified with the advice of a medical practitioner, you are extremely mistaken. To some extent, the quality of your health is in your hands. Physical health goes hand in hand with your psychological health. Like doctors say, a person might be facing some very serious disease, but being mentally strong can help him or her overcome difficulties. Your day-to-day attitude in life is also of great consequence; it decides your overall health when recorded for a year or more.
Effects of positive thoughts on a person's health:
- Worry less: Fretting is the worst way of coping in life. Each and every individual has issues gnawing at their existence. The best way to deal with problems is to face them with a calm and logical mind. Being anxious over a certain occurrence doesn't help you get anywhere in life. People who worry less have a longer and healthier life.
- Once you forgive, you naturally move on: Holding on to grudges is an utterly depressing way to carry on with the course of life. Unless you forgive, you are stuck at one single point. This holds you back from achieving to the best of your abilities. Forgiveness doesn't let the other person win; it only helps you live without emotional baggage.
- Learn to be resilient in times of stress: Thinking yourself as weak is an easy way to let hurdles take control of you. You should be of a strong disposition. Whatever the situation is, a person should take it in stride and consider it as a passing phase. Keep reminding yourself you will be back on your feet in no time at all. Being mentally weak can lead to nervous breakdowns.
- Creativity can help you sleep over remorse: Fear, anger, hatred or remorse are emotions that bog you down. Every human being should try and channelize their energies into something useful. Thinking creatively is beneficial for oneself.
- Never say 'impossible': Giving up on your dreams shows you in poor light. Treating a goal as impossible even before attempting to attain it can be very bad for your health. It can result in chronic nervousness.
Questions to ask when making a decision
1. What is holding me back from going ahead and making the decision?
2. What is my biggest fear?
3. What will my life be like if things turn out badly?
4. What will my life be like if things go exactly as I hope?
5. Who else is affected by my decision, and what are their thoughts and feelings?
6. How important are their thoughts and feelings?
7. Is there any other information I need, or facts that are important, for making the decision?
8. What would make the decision easier?
9. Can I test the water first, or take a few small steps?
10. How will I feel 10 years from now; if I say yes or if I say no?
Steps to maintaining a healthy self-esteem
1. Seek to know and understand yourself
2. Be aware of things that trigger changes in your mood
3. Be aware of people who undermine your calm, who shake your confidence, and who love to bring you down
4. Know how to soothe and relax yourself
5. Be patient with your struggles and expect to sometimes fail
6. Develop a few friendships with good friends who really care
7. Know where you want to go and get from this life
8. Set yourself some goals, and think through steps to take you there
9. Do something for others, and be gentle, warm and kind
10. Be kind to yourself, and practice self-love and self-care.
Shedding tears while watching movies can make you feel better
We all love watching movies be it comedy, action, family dramas or emotional ones. So many of us get emotional while watching an emotional movie. But how many of us actually shed tears? many of us are too conscious or suppressive about how we feel while watching a movie with friends. While watching comedy movies makes us happier and rejuvenates, do you have an idea that crying while watching emotional/dramatic movies has an even more positive impact on us than comic laughter.
Let's see how and why?
1. Some shed tears and some don't: while watching an emotional movie, some of us get emotional and some not only get emotional but cry too. But come to think of it, if you are totally involved in an emotional movie, where a scene comes where you get emotional and you feel like crying but you don't cry, aren't you suppressing an emotion within you? it's certainly a better idea to go with the flow and cry when you feel like crying.
2. Why crying is good: now you must be thinking that i'm strong enough to not let my emotions over drive me, then why should I cry? but do you have an idea that by doing you are harming yourself. If you do not cry, that sadness will hold on to you and you will keep thinking about it but if you shed tears, it will relieve you and you will feel better and happy after some time. Suppressing any kind of emotion is bad for your mental peace. Better take it out and feel relieved. If you will keep the sadness within you, it will keep on growing.
3. Why crying is better than laughing: no one would believe that crying could be better than laughing. The duration of holding on to an emotional situation is more than a happier one. But if we let the sad emotion flow in the form of tears, the feeling of sadness will go and we will feel light and happier.
Dependent Personality Disorder
Dependent personality disorder (dpd) is one of a cluster of disorders defined by symptoms of anxiety and fear. The specific, identifying symptoms include:
- being emotionally dependent on others; feeling they can’t take care of themselves
- investing a lot of time and effort in trying to please significant people
- displaying clingy, passive and needy behavior
- avoiding disagreements for fear of losing approval and support
- experiencing separation anxiety and intense fear of abandonment
- finding it hard to be alone
- putting the needs of others before their own
- tolerating mistreatment and abuse for fear of disapproval and abandonment
- being crushed, and feeling helpless, when relationships end – and forming new relationships as soon as possible
- being unable to make even the simplest decision without the input and reassurance of others
- rarely taking the initiative
- avoiding personal responsibility
- avoiding responsible jobs and careers that require independent, autonomous functioning
- being over-sensitivity to criticism
- feeling negative and pessimistic; expecting to disappoint and fail
- having low self esteem and lacking confidence, including a belief that they are unable to care for themselves.
- The cause of disorder is still unclear, and probably includes both a genetic and environmental component. Some researchers have speculated that it could be linked to an authoritarian or overprotective parenting style – which acts as a trigger for a genetic predisposition.
Treatment is usually initially sought for some other problem or concern – such as feeling overwhelmed – so that they can’t cope with life. Also, sufferers will often have a mood disorder so they seek help for depression or anxiety at first.
The normal treatment for this particular disorder is counselling or psychotherapy. However, the emphasis is short term therapy so the person doesn’t form a dependency – and then look to the counsellor to take care of them. Prognosis with support is generally good.
Strange personality disorders
Millions of people across the world are diagnosed as suffering from mental illness. And though most of those are disorders are common and well-known (such as depression, anxiety and phobias) there are also some unusual and bizarre disorders. For example:
1. Stockholm syndrome – typically seen in abducted hostages, this is where the captive shows signs of sympathy, compassion and loyalty towards the hostage taker. This occurs regardless of the way they have been treated – and even where they’ve been tortured or their life is under threat.
2. Lima syndrome – this is the opposite of the previous syndrome. It’s where the hostage taker is extremely concerned for the plight and wellbeing of the hostages.
3. Diogenes syndrome – this disorder is marked by severe self neglect, compulsive hoarding, reclusive tendencies, and keeping large numbers of animals at home.
4. Paris syndrome – this is very exclusive disorder … one restricted to japanese tourists in paris (it’s true!) the sufferer experiences a total mental breakdown when the city fails to meet their cultural expectations (paris is rarely as polite, romantic, peaceful and idyllic as the tourists had imagined). To cope with this experience, their embassy established a 24hr hotline to help those with the syndrome.
5. Jerusalem syndrome – people diagnosed with this particular disorder experience delusions and spontaneous psychosis after visiting a holy city. To date, all identified sufferers have had a history of mental illness, or some kind of psychosis.
6. Capgras delusion – in this rare disorder, the individual believes that a friend or family member has been abducted and replaced by an impostor (who looks identical to them). It is generally seen in those with schizophrenia, dementia, or some kind of brain injury.
7. Fregoli delusion – this is the exact opposite of capgras delusion. It is the false belief that numerous different people are actually one person who keeps changing their disguise.
8. Cotard delusion – a person suffering from this delusion believes that they don’t exist, are dead, are putrefying or have no blood or internal organs.
The four faces of introversion
1. Shy-secure people: don’t have a strong need to be around people, and don’t tend to worry about talking to new people. They can socialise if they need to, but they general prefer to be by themselves and to do things on their own.
2. Shy-withdrawn people: suffer from social anxiety. They are highly sensitive to perceived rejection, are anxious of negative evaluation, and are afraid of doing something embarrassing. They suffer more anxiety than people who are shy-secure.
3. Shy-dependent people: are overly helpful, accommodating, self-effacing and compliant. They have a strong need to be with other people but they feel they are inferior or “not good enough”. They have good social skills and are pleasant company – but they give up their true self in their desire to fit in.
4. Shy-conflicted people: vacillate between wanting to be around other people and then pulling back (as social situations are a real source of stress). This group of people experience the most stress and anxiety.
Coping with failure
1. Expect mistakes and knocks as they’re a normal part of life. The chances are you’re not any worse than other people!
2. Remind yourself that, on the whole, you are good enough. You may not be perfect – but at least you’re trying. It take courage to step out, and to get up when you fall down. Just being willing to do that is a true mark of success.
3. Don’t over-react. It is better to stay calm, to maintain your composure and choose how you’ll respond. A knee jerk reaction often leads to real regret.
4. Try not to think or worry about how others see you. Don’t let other people determine your self-worth.
5. Put a positive slant on a bad experience. What can you learn from this that moves you closer to success? what can you laugh about with friends; what can you see as humorous?
6. Fix your focus on your goals, then look ahead and keep on going. Don’t let a setbacks deflect you from your purpose and your dreams.
How to be a winner in life
1. Know what you want to get out of life … as you won’t reach your goals if you don’t where you’re going.
2. Make a list of all things that you’re grateful for … as it will change your attitude, your feelings and your mood.
3. Count to 10 before responding (or even worse, reacting) … as you don’t want to live with a series of regrets.
4. Track your progress so you know how you’re doing on your journey, and can make adjustments if you find you get off course.
5. Take care of yourself or you’ll end up burnt out – and you’ll lose the motivation to try, and persevere.
Quick tips for relieving stress
1. Go for a walk around the block – and even longer if you have the time.
2. Make faces in a mirror to reduce the muscle tension (and the chances are it will make you laugh as well).
3. Stretch – and loosen the muscles in the shoulders, neck and jaw
4. Make a thankfulness list.
5. Find a place to withdraw from everyone. Five minutes on your own can really make a world of difference!
6. Turn off your phone and any message notifications.
7. Switch off the inner critic in your head.
8. Look for humour in the situation.
9. Have a cup of herbal tea.
10. Eat a banana. It increases your levels of potassium (which are depleted in times of stress) and gives an immediate boost in energy.
1. Start small, and take the first step. You are on a journey. This is just the beginning. You only have to start.
2. Have faith in yourself. At least you’re brave enough “to try”. If you’re patient and keep trying you will get there in the end.
3. Make a list of all your fears so they’re not formless and vague. It is easier to fight them if you know what you are fighting!
4. Accept that life is often hard, and fear is natural and normal. Every person who succeeds will have to face and deal with fear.
5. Remind yourself of your successes and the ways in which you’ve changed. You have triumphed and succeeded over obstacles before.
6. Remind yourself of those who love you and believe in you. They know that you can do it – so derive some strength from them.
7. Imagine how you’ll look and how you’ll feel when you’ve succeed. It is WORTH making the effort. Don’t give up: you’ll reach your goal!
1. Cut out the noise. Noise is a distraction and interrupts our thinking. It makes it harder for us to focus, to process, retrieve and then use information.
2. Structure your environment. Try and set aside a specific place to study - somewhere that is quiet, and free from normal, everyday distractions.
3. Know what you’re aiming for. You won’t achieve much without clear objectives. You need to have a concrete and specific goal. That is, something you can measure and can work towards.
4. Plan your studying for the day. Tick off your achievements as you work through your list. That will help to keep you focused, so you’re less inclined to daydream - or to waste time doing futile, pointless things.
5. Know what the guidelines and the standards are. Then, adhere closely to those when doing you’re doing practice tests, or writing an assignment, or thinking through your answers.
6. Expect to meet roadblocks. That way, obstacles won’t throw you off your course. You’ll get up and work around them – so they don’t destroy your plans.
7. Become a hermit and isolate yourself. It’s just for a short time, and it’s worth it in the end.
8. Be patient, and hang in there, when you feel unmotivated. If you can just push through this, you will find that you learn something.
1. Relax your breathing. Take deliberate slow, deep breaths, and feel the tension begin to subside.
2. Clear your mind of disturbing thoughts. Remind yourself of all your strengths, of those occasions when you’ve coped in the past, and of things you still have to look forward to.
3. Shut off the critical parent in your head. We all have weaknesses and make mistakes. Don’t abandon, attack, or reject yourself. You need to support, and to nurture, yourself.
4. Practice self-care. Temporarily step back from the stressful situation. Maybe listen to some music, or message a friend, or play with your pet, or go for a walk.
5. Respond – don’t react. You don’t have to do anything right now. Take a moment to take control of your feelings and your thoughts. Then assess the situations, and think through different options.
6. You may have to put up protective boundaries. We often don’t have the energy to give at these times – so withdraw from people who would drain your energy.
7. A burden shared is a burden halved. Share how you feel with someone who cares. It’s good to ask for help when you’re worried or afraid.
Challenging the myths about mental illness can be a good way to get people thinking and talking…
Myth: People with mental illness can’t work.
Fact: Chances are, you probably work with someone with mental illness.
Myth: Mental health problems are very rare.
Fact: Mental health problems affect one in four people.
Myth: People with mental illness never recover.
Fact: People with mental illness can and do recover.
Myth: People with mental health problems are different from normal people.
Fact: We all have mental health, just like we all have physical health.
Myth: After experiencing a mental health problem, people are weaker.
Fact: Many people who have gone through this actually feel stronger.
Myth: People with mental illnesses are violent and unpredictable.
Fact: People with mental illness are more likely to be a victim of violence.
Myth: It’s best to leave people alone if they develop a mental health problem.
Fact: Most people with mental health problems want to keep in touch with friends, family and colleagues, it can be a great help in their recovery.
Myth: I don’t know anyone with a mental illness.
Fact: Someone you know or love has experienced a mental illness.
Myth: People aren’t discriminated against because of mental health problems.
Fact: Nine out of ten people with mental health problems experience stigma and discrimination.