Dr. Sajuwar

Marriages in our country usually last a lifetimeand and require effort from both parties involved to make them work. Often, marriages end because of boredom, as the partners begin to believe that the spark is gone. But there are many ways couples can perk up their marriage. 

While it is true that many people are short on precious time in today’s day and age, what is also true is that a marriage is well worth some prioritisation. 

Leaving dirty dishes in the sink for a little while longer does make good sense, if it means that the time is well-used to bond with one’s significant other. Leisure time spent between couples is crucial for the success of a marriage. Many couples do not make it a habit of listening to each other and this really does work to their detriment. Paying close attention to what the other one says and providing a response may not need a lot of effort but the dividends are rich in the form of the partner feeling good. 

Intimacy is a valued feeling of being wanted and it has a big part to play in the success of a marriage. Over the long term, many couples do not make the required effort and the overall quality of their bond is reduced, as a result. While reinitiating contact may be as simple as holding the other’s hand, many people do not do this as they feel their partner should be the one to do so. Intimacy does not only equate to sexual intimacy, but can even simply be looking into one’s partners eyes with love. 

Laughter is said to be the best medicine, and this happens to be true in the case of a marriage, as well. It has been found that couples who laugh about their past experiences are happier and get along a lot more amicably than those who do not. Recalling together where the couple first met and started seeing each other also has a positive impact as it makes both partners feel valued and thankful about what they have. 

Below, are tips that don’t require much—if any—money, time or even hard work! 

Engage in a new activity with your partner. Doing novel activities with your partner enables you to re-experience the original emotional state at the beginning of your marriage. In other words, trying something new sparks excitement, producing passion. You can do anything from deep-sea fishing to salsa dancing to hiking a mountain to eating at a different restaurant. 

Add the element of mystery or surprise. Both mystery and surprise also mimic the emotional state of a new romance. But it doesn’t mean whisking your wife away to the Mediterranean or surprising your husband with expensive dinners. Here, little gestures also go a long way. Examples include, surprising your wife at work and whisking her away for lunch, or sending a greeting card in the mail. 

Do something that kicks up your adrenaline and arousal. Young marriages start out with an adrenaline rush. Your heart races, you get giddy, you’re alert, awake and excited. Arousal-generating activities can include exercising, going on a vigorous hike, and even watching a scary movie. So it’s almost like fooling your brain that the arousal produced to this scary movie (or any other arousing activity) is really due to your marriage, and this helps to perk up the passion. 

Take a mini-vacation — just the two of you. Get out of the house for at least one night and two days, somewhere that interests both of you and creates new memories together. You don’t have to go far from home or spend a lot of money. The key is to spend quality time together away from home. Studies show that for women, in particular, getting away is important. They feel more passionate when they’re away from the pressures of their lives. At home, women have a tough time compartmentalizing things. They’re thinking about the laundry, lunch, paying the bills, cleaning the house, and checking things off their mental to-do list. 

Touch more often. Touch produces arousal, comfort and support both physiologically and psychologically, and it doesn’t have to be much of a touch. Holding hands on a walk, making sure you give a hug or kiss or embrace daily reminds you that you’re physiologically bonded. When reigniting your relationship, the key is to shake things up consistently. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychiatrist.

We look around at our friends' marriage and often conclude that their marriage is better than ours. No wonder we turn to self-pity mode for not being to lucky to have a happier and exciting relationship. Who knew the love shall fade away! Where is the harmony and intimacy we always dreamt of ??

Why does romance not last? When we need someone to love and more importantly to be loved. All success, a seven digit salary, and big cars, nothing. nothing lets us feel content unless we have someone to share it with. Probably you have been married for years and have lost the romantic spark you had. And you look back and start analysing, where, what, when and how things went wrong?

And blame game starts; you curse circumstances and try to justify your actions

Ritikaa and Mehul fell in love at first sight. Despite family resistance they married. After a few months, they were arguing for small things and wondering why did they have married. Dr Radhakrishnan is a scientist married to a pathologist; he is looking from separation from his wife after 26 years, though he is not seeing anyone else.

Suchitra and Prakash married ten years ago, they divorced after two years of their marriage. They don't have kids. There were no obligations but they reunited four years back and divorced again, but still the relationship is not broken.

Do happy couples exist??? Heartbroken Alok who is just 32 yrs old, asked me with teary eyes - I earn 4 crores a year, but I feel lonely, unloved and dejected!

Every day I listen to stories of heartache! And my belief in the power of love and affection is growing many folds.

Marriage is more than being a room partner! Not only marriage but any relationship is like a plant, we need to nurture it to blossom. Every marriage faces its own challenges at different time and for different reasons. We need to consciously work on it but with ease.

No marriage is boring or perfect! It's about how do we respond to our marriage.

Every couple has to face common issues related with adjusting with new families, career balance, baby plans (in some cases), spending, eating, hygiene (bathroom etiquettes) habits of spouse, interest and hobbies, gender specific responsibilities and of course money matters.

Let it be anything . .Assertiveness is key to success.

Watch your own actions:

• Are you imposing thoughts and actions on your spouse: you have imagined a world, and are trying to move things as per our own wish?

• Are you expecting without explaining to her/ him: you might be soul-mates, but don't forget that no two people can be the same. Explain your expectations but don't put conditions to get it accomplished. Allow your spouse to take her or his call.

• Are you respecting differences in opinion- disagreement is not disrespect for your views and opinions. It's about perspectives (based on pre conceived notions)

• Are you reading your spouse's mind and assuming? Stop assuming, ask but be assertive, use appropriate words, tone and pitch.

• Are you giving some room for mistakes?  Give people some space to make mistakes, forgive them and self too. Communicate if something bothers you a lot.

• Are you judging by actions not understanding intentions? Relax! Before you make opinions and decide you can't take it anymore. Sometimes your spouse is completely clueless and unaware about your mind.

• Are you trying to bridge the gap between your spouse and your parents? Relationships are very one-to-one. Never try to bridge the gap between them, you shall end up being a sandwich and will spoil your relations too. Let them grow their own relationship.

• Communicate clearly and explain your expectations about money matters - involve your spouse in your financial planning, it's a way to generate trust between you and spouse and it helps to work on budgets and spending habits.

• Express clearly about sexual needs and desire. Physical intimacy plays a very important role in marriage. Seek professional help to sort things out before you think you are incompatible.

• Make a choice not a sacrifice (otherwise you shall expect your spouse to repay it in the way you want).

Headache is a very common medical problem. Nearly 25% of females and 8% of males in general suffer from headaches at some point in their life.

More than 90% of headaches are due to migraine. However headaches are also caused due to tensions and due to wrong lifestyle practices. If headaches are not treated and managed at the right time they can also complicate into - brain like hemorrhage, meningitis, brain tumors, etc.

Any new onset headache should be taken seriously as it could be because of a serious brain illness.

Common myths associated with Headaches:

• It's because of Acidity - Headaches are not caused due to acidity or 'Gas' , as popularly highlighted.
• Headaches could only be because of sleepless nights - They could be because of any strain on your body. Eyesight, tension, nasal issues, flu are few reasons.
• Headaches are only because of tension - They could be because of a number of reasons, tension could be just one factor.
• Headaches can be cured by self medication - Persistent headaches need to be addressed by specialists. Ignoring the signs and symptoms can lead to complications.

Common symptoms of migraine are:

• One sided or whole head pain
• Head pain accompanied with nausea or vomiting
• Irritation with loud noise and bright lights.
• Increase in headache with even slight movement of head.

Reasons of Headaches:

• Migraine or headache episodes can be triggered due to the following reasons:
• Irregular meal timings
• Improper sleep
• Excessive mental stress
• Excessive alcohol intake
• Due to intake of certain food items like red wine, chocolates, cheese, preservatives
• Change of weather season
• Excessive heat or cold

If headaches occur more than 1 or 2 times in a month, then medical attention becomes important. Headaches take away precious working hours from our routine, reduce your efficiency and can make you vulnerable to excessive consumption of pain killers. At a certain point of time even pain killers stops working. It is essential that you consult a specialist for medical advice and a holistic lifestyle management. Ignoring the same can lead to complications such as loss of vision & paralysis of the body- After all your body's health, balance and maintenance is in your hands!

Birth control pills commonly known as hormonal pills, oral contraceptive pills, or just pill's are an effective female hormonal birth controlling pill. Young women and adolescent girls are very frequently prescribed birth control pills for heavy or irregular menstrual flow, acne, PMS, hormone therapy, menstrual cramps. In Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), which causes irregular menstrual flow due to hormonal changes, often birth control pills are given to lower the hormones and bring them within normal range. This also regulates the menstrual flow. Often adolescent girls who do not respond to acne treatment are prescribed hormonal pills. Also, these are given to girls who have endometriosis, irregular periods, and genetic conditions like Turner's syndrome.

Concerns associated with pills:

1) Do the Pills have any health benefits?
Yes, it has benefits like treatment of (PCOS), acne, regulates menstrual flow, decreases cramps, and lowers the risk of cancers and anemia.

2) What are the side effects of the pill?
Mostly it has no major problem as such. Pills containing estrogen might increase the risk of developing clots in eyes, lungs, and legs. If a woman complains of ACHES then she should be taken to the emergency.
A Abdominal pain
C Chest pain
H Headache along with dizziness and weakness
E Eye problems along with problems in speech
S Severe pain in the thigh or calf

3) Is there a risk of developing stroke or heart attack. while using the pill?
A healthy woman who does not smoke and is on pills does not have any risk of getting a stroke or a heart attack. Smoking should be avoided when birth control pills have been prescribed.

4) Are there chances of getting cancer?
Taking birth control pills actually protects the woman against ovarian and uterus cancer. Some experts also feel that the pill also reduces the chances of breast cancer.

5) Does the pill cause blood clots?
Yes, there is little risk of developing clots in the legs. In adolescent girls the risk of forming clots is 5-50 per 100,000 every year. In pregnant women the risk is 4.3-10 folds more than those who do not use the pill.

6) Does the pill cause birth defects?
The pill has not been associated with any birth defects and also does not harm the health of the child.

7) How does the pill help in irregular menstrual flow and acne?
In case of irregular menstruation the pill helps by regulating the menstrual cycle to every 28 days. It also helps to reduce the amount and the length of the menstruation.

The hormones present in the pill help to stop the acne. OTC or prescribed drugs can be taken for moderate to severe acne. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Gynaecologist.