Know how Premature ejaculation can affect your sex life and its treatment
Hi I'm Poosha, Sexologist and Sex Counsellor and a Consultant at Lybrate.com. We'll talk about very frequently asked question about a sexual function, that is, premature ejaculation.
Not too many people are familiar with this word, rather they would describe their problem as rapid ejaculation. Mere pati ko takat nahi hai, stamina nahi hai, such are the kind of descriptions we come across and the real problem is the male concerned is not able to withstand intercourse for more than one or upto two minutes. Sometimes, they ejaculate within one minute. It is calculated from the time of intromission, it is inserting the penis inside, to ejaculating the time is either less than one minute or slightly around one minute. And premature ejaculation is a very very common male dysfunction, probably the most common male sexual dysfunction without any bodily cause. So utimately what we see is if the male is ejaculating much earlier than the female and earlier than he wishes to then we consider it as a case of premature ejaculation.
So, a lot of people think that this premature ejaculation is a disorder or disease which it is not. And secondly, many people attribue this to their past habits and they call it bad habits, "curse" put in quotes. So, they describe their problem as doctor I've masturbated during my childhood or in my adulthood and now I've this curse of premature ejaculation, I'm unable to satisfy my wife, she is very unhappy with me, I'm afraid she might even leave me and all. So they attribute the thing that this is the cause that they have masturbated in the past that's why the problem occurs, which again isn't correct. Actually masturbation doesn't cause premature ejaculation, on the contrary you can use masturbation as a tool to overcome premature ejaculation, you can change yourself using that. Whether they're anxious people whether they've any psychological disorders earlier, what is their family background, what is the relationship between the male and the female, the wife and the husband, how do they interact with each other, how do they take the problem, are they hostile or are they anxious, are they stressed out. Is the marriage is in distess or are they quarreling, is there good communication, do they love and care each other despite this problem all these things we've to assess first. So, based on this assessment we choose the method of treatment.
We've two methods, one is the natural method where in we'll train the couple to first understand how the premature ejaculation is taking place and then how to control it. Similarly, ejaculatory control is very difficult and initially it seems impossible but then as weeks pass by we learn each and every technique piece by piece and with experience they'll be able to overcome premature ejaculation and they'll be able to enjoy sex for several minutes. I know people who have been able to enjoy sex beyond 10 minutes, 20 minutes but let me not quote any higher minutes because they're rare instances. So, this is based on natural methods which require a good cooperation and understanding between the couple, and that is very important. But when the couple is in distress or if the natural method is something they're not able to learn and implement easily then we go for or choose Firm Classical treatment or Drug treatment.
There are a number of drugs which sometimes can be applied physically, outside the skin or there are drugs that can be taken through mouth that can solve the problem. But they're short lived, as long as they're used then only they work and after stopping the medicines again the problem returns. But what we do is while they're learning, while they're enjoying their sexual life it increases their intramission period we teach them the natural techniques so that the techniques will remain for a very long time and they can enjoy their lives. So anyone who is having a premature ejaculation problem should not be distressed. They should understand that this is a very natural, very normally occuring phenomenon and this can be easily resolved through either medicines or natural methods or a combination of both.
So the best thing they should do to help them get results is to consult a sex therapist as soon as they can so the marriage doesn't fall into distress.read more
Here are symptoms, causes, myth and treatment of Night Emission
Hi I am Poosha sex counsellor and sexologist. Friends, a lot people are worried about the emissions, ejaculations happening during the sleep time. These are called sleep emissions, nocturnal emissions, and nocturnal ejaculations or in common practice nightfall. Ejaculations do not occur for women but nocturnal orgasms do occur for girls and women also. Clearly this happens because external tensions build up inside the body and there is no relief mechanism there is no way out like no opportunity to participate in sex or even it is participated there is still much more need and desire. In such cases usually nightfall happens. Also there is a physiological basis for this one nocturnal emissions probably happen in a way it’s a nature’s way of testing its actual mechanisms.
Like take the example of a pressure cooker its steam builds up inside pressure comes out in the form of steam. So also when this actual pressure keeps building inside you the semen is ejaculated. As if through voluntary exercises like masturbation but if that is not there through sleep. There is nothing wrong about it. Nothing is lost. People are afraid that semen is lost. No semen will never be lost because semen production is an everyday process. It’s ok that a lot of people who experience nocturnal emissions almost every day or some people who experience it once in a month or twice in a month. There are people who get night, nocturnal emissions probably once or twice in an entire year and I can assure you I can tell you there are people who saw any night emissions at all. Everything is normal every frequency is normal. If they think it is excessive what they should do is stop thinking so much about sex.
Whenever sexual thoughts come you don’t stop the thoughts because they are natural for that age for any as it matter. But if the thoughts are bothering let the mind be diverted into something that is equally interesting which is a non-sexual thing. Think about education, think about games, think about sports, think about going to a movie, think about GOD or whatever interests you, think about scenic beauties, hobbies, anything. By diverting your mind into both directions where sexual thoughts are little reduced.
So people ask me what is the treatment for nocturnal emissions. There is no treatment there is no need for any treatment because it’s a natural phenomenon. Don’t try to interfere in nature’s ways. And remember nocturnal emissions will go away on their own. Once married there won’t be any nocturnal emissions at all except probably when his wife is away or is not in a position to participate in sex once in a while they may occur and as advance as the nocturnal emissions frequency will come down drastically and early people very rarely experienced that one. It doesn’t deplete anything it doesn’t come in the way of reduction in sexual life in any way. God has created that the nature has created that accept it as it is.
Good luck to you.read more
Effects of Masturbation
Hi! I am Dr. Poosha, sexologist and sex counselor. I am also the editor of the India’s longest published magazine in Absarika published from 1949. I am also a consultant on Lybrate.com for the last 15 months.
Friends, today we will talk about masturbation. This is a solitary practice as you can understand done in privacy and it starts at the age of about 8 to 9 years in boys. It can also start as late as 50 years for some people, until then they may not be starting masturbation at all. So the occurrence of masturbation can start at any time from childhood till the late age. Unlike many people think, women also masturbate. Lots of people and qualified doctors propagate that masturbation leads to impotence, immature ejaculation, causes nervous disability, general weakness and stop the growth of the penis which make the organ small. Some people also believe that the penis becomes small because of masturbation. These are some of the terrible misconception by the public. There are some people who go to the extent of saying that masturbation is the cause of epilepsy, insanity, schizophrenia also. But believe me, every single one of them is a myth and absolutely wrong and there is no scientific basis for this at all.
In fact, masturbation is not only a natural and safe outlet without any hazards to the health including sexual health, life, performance, desires and responses. None of them is affected by masturbation. In fact, there are some benefits as well. In the first place, it gives you the sexual satisfaction that you desire at any given age. Secondly, it relieves you of the sexual tensions building up in the body so that you are able to focus on your studies or work or other things. More importantly, you will be safe from sexually transmitted infections that could arise if you indulge in casual sex. For casual sex, other consequences are also there like cultural, biological and psychological. All these problems can be avoided if you stick to masturbation. Finally, it saves you from prostatic problems.
If masturbation is done by elderly people especially, the prostate symptoms, infections and enlargement signs can be relieved. For persons of every age, masturbation can be used as a tool for overcoming premature ejaculation. So remember that masturbation is harmless and here is nothing wrong in doing it. But I have come across a lot of people who says that they are addicted to masturbation. We will discuss about this issue at some other time.
Thank you, I practice in Samalkot and Hyderabad. You can walk into my clinic if you have any queries on this subject and I also answer questions through lybrate.com so you can fix up an appointment through lybrate. You can ask your questions and get text, video or written answers.read more
Lybrate.com has a nexus of the most experienced Sexologists in India. You will find only a few Sexologists with more than 36 years of experience on Lybrate.com. View his profile and reviews from other patients to make an informed decision.
Book Clinic Appointment with Dr. Poosha Darbha
Treatment of Premature Ejaculation
Treatment Of Erectile Dysfunction
Treatment of Painful Sexual Intercourse
Treatment of Loss Of Libido
Sex Addiction Counselling
Treatment of Delayed Ejaculation
Sexual Therapy Treatment
Treatment Of Female Sexual Problems
Treatment of Impotence
Adolescent Problems Treatment
Submit a review for Dr. Poosha DarbhaYour feedback matters!
Patient Review Highlights
I am 21 year old. I was shy to visit doctor but I built up confidence and visited him. The Doctor was sitting in room. He asked me to sit and said me don't be shy and tell me clearly everything. I said him my problem how I started masturbate, why I can't get rid of it. I said him because of masturbation, I lost my erection, My dick size reduce. I lost my concentration. How I became weak. He listened me patiently. we had conversations for around 30 minutes. He suggested me many things. Guys out there who are shy to visit doctor. Please visit him, I am 21 year old. You know when I asked him I can't pay the amount of fee he didn't even charged me his fee. one of the best Doctor in city. Guys please don't be shy visit Dr.Poosha. The correct address is GM diagnostic 2 floor, Motinagar, Erragaada, Hyderabad.
Thanks to Dr Poosha Darbha, I am much better now. Even though Dr Poosha Darbha is not from our city, he is still very famous, so we consulted him. In the past i consulted so many doctors, but nobody was able to help me with my erectile dysfunction, but he has helped me immensely. The overall cleanliness in the Abhisarika Samalkot was amazing. The guidance Poosha Darbha gave me has helped me immensely with my situation. I was in so much pain due to my erectile dysfunction.Dr Poosha Darbha has a very positive attitude towards all the patients. I owe her a big thank for providing me such a beneficial treatment.
Many people gave very positive feedback for Dr Poosha Darbha. I'am almost on the path to recovery, Thanks to Dr Poosha Darbha perfect advice. By chance, I approached her for second opinion and thank god, i did because, he treated me very patiently. The entire Abhisarika Samalkot clinic was spotlessly, clean. The clinic was so nicely made. She ensures that she gives enough time to each patient. Due to my erection problems i was feeling very depressed and had no hope. So many doctors I consulted, but his treatment was the best.
I had some serious doubts about my sexual prowess. I searched n found out about Dr. Poosha. He is a good doctor and a great human being. I had problems which did not exist. But he tackled them so graciously and nicely. I m a great husband only because him. He talked to me. He consoled me. And brought me back from my mental abyss. God bless him. Even if you have no problem just go and talk to him once. What kind of sexologist he is I don't know but he is great psychiatrist and a great soul. God bless him.
I was having issue of premature ejaculation. I am amazed that he is such a sweet doctor, even though he is so busy all the time. Even though my problem was very big, the entire experience of undergoing premature ejaculation treatment was very relaxing. The nurses at the Abhisarika Samalkot clinic were really helpful. I have consulted so many doctors but nobody till now was able to understand my concern properly, until i consulted Dr Poosha Darbha
Due to my testicular pain my daily activities were suffering. I consulted Dr Poosha for this problem. I appreciate the way she treats her patients. She doesn't just randomly prescribes medicines, but first properly diagnoses the problem. I am so happy with the results of my treatment, that I will surely recommend her to anyone gladly.
I found the answers provided by the Dr. Poosha Darbha to be very helpful, saved my life and knowledgeable. He is the best knowldgable sexologisi on this app.i think any one facing any sexual problem must consult him as he has good communication skill and dont have the tendency to make money only like others.thanks alot sir
Due to my male sexual problems, my life was suffering suffering. I consulted Dr Poorsha, he is not just friendly, but also is very motivating. So many doctors I consulted, but his treatment was the best. I searched this doctor online and saw his reviews. I am quite impressed with the way she treats her patients.
I was scandelized to experience male sexual problems and didn't know what to do. My boss referred me Dr Poosha. She is very patient with all his patients. Thanks to her for perfect advice. The staff was very attentive to my needs. In order to diagnose my problem completely she asked me a number of questions.
Dr. Poosha Darbha provides answers that are very helpful, knowledgeable, well-reasoned and helped me improve my health. I have done from my childwood times... Thats what i have a tension about this sir ...,soo kindly please give me some instructions to maintain healthy and peacefull sex and life
Due to my masturbation addiction, i was feeling very depressed and had no hope. One of my neighbour's recommended Dr Poosha. With great ease she explained us the problem and how the treatment will be carried out. She is is an excellent sexologist. And I am quite benefitted with her treatment.
I had a small penis size due to which I was very tensed . One of my friends referred to Dr Poosha. Over the period of time the treatment has helped me a lot. She is very practical doctor and has in depth knowledge in sexology. And I am happy with the results.
Dr. Poosha Darbha provides answers that are very helpful, professional and knowledgeable. Thanks to DR Spoosha garu, your suggestions and counselling will be very help to me,thanks for your patience for listing my probs and giving best advice.
he is received me very well and listend my problems with patiencey and very clearely and explained to me in very simple way. i suggested him for approch any body with out any doubt and get clarifications.thankyou very much sir.
I found the answers provided by the Dr. Poosha Darbha to be knowledgeable. Thanks for your advice. I dont want a bigger penis than what I have but I want my penis to be erected fully while doing intercourse and a high libido
Dr. Poosha Darbha provides answers that are very helpful. It's really amazing. I can't believe that i can get the answer this much fast. i'll definitely follow this & share this for friends too
Dr. Poosha Darbha provides answers that are very helpful. Sir should i take western bolt test and sir 10 months of possible exposure is the spot test sufficient
I found the answers provided by the Dr. Poosha Darbha to be very helpful, knowledgeable, well-reasoned, professional and helped me improve my health. Thanks
I found the answers provided by the Dr. Poosha Darbha to be caring, helped me improve my health, practical, nurturing and inspiring. Motivational doctor...
Sainath Reddy Seelam
I was totally came back when I heard his explaination...I suggest him to be the best...He had a great friendly approach towards everyone who approach him...
I found the answers provided by the Dr. Poosha Darbha to be well-reasoned, sensible and helped me improve my health. Share feedback in your own words...
Earl M Hrangchal
I found the answers provided by the Dr. Poosha Darbha to be very helpful. Very helpful for me, it get me more knowledge to prevent from my weakness.
About 15% of all couples trying to get pregnant end up subfertile - meaning they find it difficult to conceive. Factors related to the male account for 50% of all infertile cases.
The commonest manifestation of male factor is reduced quality of the semen. This includes sperm density (also called sperm count), sperm motility, sperm morphology (physical appearance of the spermatozoa), and also physical properties of the seminal fluid (ex: too viscous, too acidic), chemical composition (total absence or reduced quantities of certain enzymes), presence of antibodies, infection, to mention a few.
The second most important male factor involves sperm delivery:
This includes inability to have sexual intercourse, unsuitable coital technique, position, timing, frequency; Using lubricants that may impair sperms. If you are trying for pregnancy, there are many things you can do by yourself, to keep your semen quality high and increase your fertility score. Men who live a healthy lifestyle are more likely to produce healthy sperm. So, avoid lifestyle choices that adversely impact your fertility.
Here are some things you can do to improve your semen and sperm quality:
Lifestyle Habits you may wish to change:
- Smoking - It significantly decreases both sperm count and motility.
- Alcohol - Chronic alcohol abuse has adverse effect on semen quality
- Recreational drugs - Marijuana and other recreational drugs could damage the fertility potential of your sperm cells
- Steroids - Especially anabolic steroid use causes testicular shrinkage and infertility. Intense exercise increases prolactin, a milk-promoting hormone, which in turn leads to diminished sperm production (oligospermia).
- Anything that increases scrotal temperature - Tight underwear, hot sauna baths, hot work environment o Exposure to environmental hazards and toxins such as pesticides, lead, paint, radiation, radioactive substances, mercury, boron, benzene, etc.
- Malnutrition, anemia
- Zinc and Vitamin C & deficiency
- High levels of stress
Avoiding these situations and substances, changing your lifestyle incorporating nutritious diet, and stress-free functioning could greatly improve your chances of better quality semen. This, however, does not substitute medical treatment, but would only supplement it. You would also respond better to the treatment, if taking any. If you are told that your semen report is less than optimal, do consult the doctor early to improve the situation.
Married for months and years and yet no intercourse? You are not alone! (This should be the heading) Mr. and Mrs. S. were married for over 2 years now. It was an arranged marriage and the couple were getting along well. The only issue bothering them was that despite trying in many different ways, sexual intercourse has not taken place between them. It appeared that initially the wife was afraid of penetration, has experienced pain when the husband tried to penetrate, avoided sex as much as possible, consulted several doctors and gynecologists and followed their suggestions.
Finally, when Mrs. S was mentally and physically ready for intercourse, the husband, Mr. S started experiencing erectile dysfunction. He says his erections are good when he is alone, or even when he indulges in foreplay, but loses erection the moment he tries to take the penis near the vagina.
The result? The marriage is unconsummated, that is, intercourse has not yet happened between the couple.
Unconsummated marriage is not a rare thing. Quite a few couples experience it, though the exact prevalence is not known. Usually it is expected to be more prevalent in cultures with no or limited sex education / premarital guidance. For some, the problem resolves in a few weeks, for others it takes years on end. I have seen several couples who were unconsummated for 6-8 years and at least one couple who were married for 18 years. It does not mean that the problem is so complex! It only means the couple have taken so long to pluck up the courage to seek professional help and to strictly follow the therapist's suggestions.
Whether a couple is married or not, when they are unable to accomplish vaginal penetration, the relationship may be impacted in profound ways. It depends on how much each one loves, cares and supports the other, or how much each distrusts and finds fault with the other.
- Some try every position, lubricant, anesthetic, tranquilizer or the advice of a well-wisher and rate the outcome as success or failure.
- Some may altogether avoid intercourse or even other sexual activities.
- Some engage in all other intimate sexual activities including mutual masturbation or superficial sex (sex between the thighs) but preclude attempts to penetration.
- Yet others resort to the blame game, accusing the other for the failure. - Nevertheless, all unconsummated couples feel distressed, except those who enjoy satisfying sexual life, albeit without intercourse. Marital distress may in some cases lead to disputes between the couple, their families, and eventual annulment of marriage.
- Some people seek immediate consultation when they notice the problem, but many delay it for weeks to years out of embarrassment. Many a time, the couples seek professional help only when their urge to conceive surmounts embarrassment. Yet others consult only when their relationship comes under threat.
Why does it happen?
Unconsummated marriage can result from physical problems as well as psychological causes.
Causes in women:
2) Past painful experiences
3) Sexual pain disorders such as localized vulvodynia (vulvar vestibulitis syndrome), which is characterized by pain with touch at the entry to the vagina, which can prevent intercourse.
4) Some women have a very thick hymen, or a septate hymen, which vertically separates the vagina into two sides.
5) Vaginismus - a condition in which the muscles surrounding the vaginal opening contract involuntarily and close the opening tightly, making the penetration impossible. This is a psychosexual condition requiring counseling and behavior therapy.
In the male:
1) Erectile dysfunction can prevent intercourse. If it has a physiological basis, it may be treated medically.
2) Too early ejaculation (ejaculating before penetration)
3) curvature of the penis (if the curvature is mild, it can be dealt with through creative positioning. In more severe cases, medical or surgical treatment may be needed).
4) Severe anxiety and being over protective.
1) Lack of knowledge about sexual anatomy, physiology and sexual positions & techniques may contribute to the inability to penetrate.
2) One or both of the partners may have mobility problems or difficulty getting in to or maintaining a position.
How is the problem treated?
Most of these conditions can be addressed with appropriate information, guidance, counseling and physical therapy, including use of vaginal dilators. A septate hymen needs surgical repair. Anxiety and fear have to addressed. Pain due to infections or deformities need to be treated. Male erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation require treatment.
Couples in unconsummated relationships of long duration, may need couples-therapy. Premarital education and counseling can go a long way in reducing the number of unconsummated marriages and the resulting distress and marital problems.
I am a 17 years old boy. Can I get genital herpes. I am not involved any sexual activity. Give me a solution.
Stress is one of the most common and strong barriers to sex. Far too many people suffer from sexual problems caused by worry, tension, and exhaustion of stressful life - and yet unaware of it. If you want to perform your best, then never try too hard. Sex should happen by itself. Never force it upon you. Stay relaxed. Keep anxiety out of your body's way, for, any trace of anxiety, tension, fear, worry, distraction etc. can burst the sexual arousal - like a tiny pin prick blowing up a huge balloon.
"When your body is wracked with stress, tension and anxiety, and your mind wracked with worry and distractions, sweet sex is nearly impossible."
Stress affects you physically, physiologically and mentally. During stress, blood vessels supplying blood to the penis don’t dilate fully and the sphincter that serves to stop the blood flowing back into the body fails to constrict adequately, both contributing to poor erections. Failed erections cause additional stress. And stress causes more erection problem. And a pattern of failure thus gets established.
In no time, you are conditioned to get an erectile failure every time you attempt sex. That's how stress operates on your bodily responses. Stress disrupts the hormones as well. With stress, the testosterone levels fall, as do the levels of FSH which promotes sperm production. To add fuel to the fire, cortisol, the main stress hormone makes the testes less responsive to a hormone called LH, which tells the testes to produce testosterone.
At an emotional level, stress can lead to anxiety, depression, anger, guilt or a combination of them. Each one of them is a powerful enemy to sex. Together they are an unbeatable combination. The underlying power behind all these reactions is the mind. Reconditioning the brain is the key element in reversing it.
Here is what you can do:
1. Sometimes, simply recognizing that it is the stress that's causing the sexual problems is enough to bring about recovery.
2. Share your anxiety with your partner; Don’t try to hide. Sharing the tension, anxiety and worry will relieve you of the burden and guilt. You will be even more at ease when reassurance is coming from the other side. This paves way for speedy recovery.
3. Remember that very often, even the most complex problems have simple causes and simple solutions. Don’t be too Google-dependent. Google undoubtedly is a powerful search tool but you often do not know which information is right and which is wrong or which explains your situation the best.
4. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help even in small matters. The experience and training of a therapist are what helps you most. Most sexual problems at a younger age do not need elaborate tests. Often simple prescriptions will help quick restoration.
5. Exercise regularly. It boosts confidence, improves hormone levels, increases blood circulation, and enhances self-image. A good self-image is equal to good sex.
6. Get enough sleep. Don’t try sex at the end of the day, when you are down with fatigue and exhaustion. Instead, begin your day with sex (Sex early in the morning is a good one).
7. Take nutritional supplements such as Energex to boost energy and libido.