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Sahara Counselling Services

  4.6  (630 ratings)

Psychologist Clinic

Ranka Heights Domlur Layout, Old Airport Road
1 Doctor · ₹900
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Sahara Counselling Services   4.6  (630 ratings) Psychologist Clinic Ranka Heights Domlur Layout, Old Airport Road
1 Doctor · ₹900
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Our medical care facility offers treatments from the best doctors in the field of Counselling Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Sexologist.By combining excellent care with a state-of-the-art......more
Our medical care facility offers treatments from the best doctors in the field of Counselling Psychologist, Psychotherapist, Sexologist.By combining excellent care with a state-of-the-art facility we strive to provide you with quality health care. We thank you for your interest in our services and the trust you have placed in us.
More about Sahara Counselling Services
Sahara Counselling Services is known for housing experienced Psychologists. Ms. Samiksha Jain, a well-reputed Psychologist, practices in Domlur Layout, Old Airport Road. Visit this medical health centre for Psychologists recommended by 88 patients.

Timings

MON-SAT
10:00 AM - 07:00 PM

Location

Ranka Heights
Domlur Layout, Old Airport Road, Karnataka - 560071
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Doctor

Ms. Samiksha Jain

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist
91%  (630 ratings)
9 Years experience
900 at clinic
₹400 online
Available today
10:00 AM - 07:00 PM
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45 Days validity  •  Medicines included
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45 Days validity  •  Medicines included
₹4000
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45 Days validity  •  Medicines included
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Patient Review Highlights

"Well-reasoned" 1 review "Practical" 1 review "knowledgeable" 4 reviews "Caring" 1 review "Very helpful" 5 reviews "Inspiring" 2 reviews

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I am 29years old female. I am losing myself gradually. If someone talks to me in good manner I feel he/she is doing this for some reason. He/she may want to use me. I can not find any positive vibe from anything. Sometimes I feel totally blank, have no idea what I am doing. Sometimes I can not recognize the person or place. Is it any kind of mental disorder?

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
With this much information it is hard to diagnose a mental disorder. You do seem to have undergone a stressful period and lost trust on people. The symptoms that you mentioned could be due to some alternations and misunderstanding that you would have gone through. Inability to relate to your present situation could be a defense to protect yourself from apparent harm which may or may not exist. However you could be dysfunctional in this situation and unable to carry out your daily routine and achieve anything that you want to. I suggest that you see a counsellor and discuss at length about your experiences of the past and look at workable solutions.
5 people found this helpful
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Hello, I am most of the time in some other world. It's not hallucinations but I keep imagining things like-I am talking to people and they watching me where ever I go. For eg. If I go to a mall, when I walk there I think My self as a doctor and the ppl around me as my patients. M just a first years medico. I don't know what's wrong with me. Please help me. Whats this?

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Dear lybrate user, it is very difficult to assess or diagnose with just this much information. I suggest that you see a psychiatrist or homeopathy doctor to further assess your overall condition and give you medications accordingly. 1. Besides this, please start regular exercise so that you become mentally and physically healthier. 2. You can make healthier food choices by having more fruits and vegetables, fish, eggs, proteins for optimal performance of the body and mind. Reduce junk, fried, sugary, processed and refined foods because they are linked to quick aging of the body and mind due to chemical, free radicals etc. 3. Meeting up regularly with friends, having fun and light hearted conversation help both mind and body to relax which is important for all of us. Go for long walks, picnic, outdoor activities to relax and enjoy. 4. Have a hobby of your own where you can feel creative and satisfied by the outcomes. This is very essential for anyone who feels that their life is boring and unproductive. 5. Sleeping for 6-7hours every night will repair and heal any tiredness and cellular damage to the brain. You will feel refreshed and hopeful at the beginning of each day. Going out in the sun is good for optimal brain function.
1 person found this helpful
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I don't know how to describe my problem. My problem is neatness. Every minute and every second it will be in mind. I keep wash my hands when ever I touch anything. And I have two kids I don't allow them to play outside because they will get dirty. And if I see them dirty I will get very anger I will loose my control. What is my problem and what to do. Please suggest me.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
I suggest that you see a psychiatrist for your wish for neatness at all times. It seems to be going towards an extreme and wouldn't serve you any purpose, instead render you quite dysfunctional. Stopping your kids from going out will prove counterproductive because children need to run, play, exercise in the open for good physical, mental and emotional development. Dirty clothes are part of growing up. Sometimes it's fun to be dirty and still enjoy with friends. They learn social skills through play. Cooperation, tolerance, team building, competitions, winning, losing, resilience etc. By keeping them in the house, they will feel bored and lose out a lot.
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I'm repeatedly failing in a entrance exam. My performance is not bad, but I'm not getting the best result as number of seats very less. I'm studying day and night since 3 years. My career is in doubt now. Little bit depressed and still want to get success in that xam. I'm still trying and still reading. But somewhere a frustration attacking me. Please help.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
It must be frustrating and demotivating for you to repeatedly" not clear" the exam. Please notice that I said" not clear" instead of failing, because you seem to be associating this failure with your personal failure, which is actually not true. You are much more and beyond the passing and failing in an exam. Humans have unlimited potential out of which we use only 5-7%. Rest is untapped. Clearing your exam is not the only way to achieve your success and happiness. Try to create more situations where you get to learn more and utilise your learning. It is common knowledge that, public exams like banking and ias have few seats available but applicants are in lakhs. Usually such students, create a plan b and plan c, where in they have already thought of another job or course to take up so that their learning and earning doesn't stop. Your knowledge and learning will not go waste. Find out where else it can be applied eg. Ias students learn more about current affairs, general knowledge and govt policies for establishments and organisations. Even if they don't get a govt job, they can apply in private sector or start their own business. Set up a time frame within which you try a set number of times. If you don't get through. Leave it and move on. Life doesn't stop for anyone. People who are flexible and adaptable are successful, people who don't adapt get left out. I'm sure that you would have heard of" survival of the fittest" theory by charles darwin. You must understand what are your strengths and in which fields you would do your best. Think of those moments when you were doing your best and felt the happiest and lively. Many researchers have proved that if you find out what is your" calling" then you will do your best, feel content and satisfied and experience good physical, mental and emotional wellbeing. I suggest that you take out time to understand what you excel at. Maybe not getting through this exam is a boon in disguise.
9 people found this helpful
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How can I get rid of Guilty feelings and stay Happy? Some things come up my mind everyday and I become sad due to guilt I just want to get rid of them?

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
While guilt has a function of guiding a person to act within acceptable limits of social conduct, excessive guilt can be very harmful and corrode a persons self confidence and self esteem. Since you did not mention any particular incident, I will just enumerate some tips for your consideration: 1. Guilt occurs when you have done something unfair and objectionable to another person. That time your conscience and morals will make you feel guilty. Now, here you need to see if you are doing the same action repeatedly and not learning from your mistakes. Its a good time to take stock and learn from your mistakes and not repeat hurtful behaviors. 2. Is the other person being too demanding of you and you can not do what they want you to do? well, its time to stand up for what you can or want to do, because you too have a choice, limitations etc. So actually theres no need to feel guilty here. 3. Do you take on too many responsibilities and end up not acting on them. Its time to prioritize what you want to do and what you must do. More planning and organizing means lesser guilt. 4. Are you someone who procrastinates often and then feel guilty of not doing it on time? maybe its time to work through your laziness and look at reasons why you procrastinate and become proactive. Feeling guilty about it will take you nowhere. If this is not what you are looking for, then please send details in private chat and I will help you to increase happiness and reduce guilt factor.
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9 POWERFUL LESSONS TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
9 POWERFUL LESSONS TO LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES
We have all heard the sayings "It's human to make mistakes". We make mistakes every day, large and small, failures. But failure and mistakes still don't feel like a way to learn and grow. I know that I should accept my faults and shortcomings. But it is a challenge for me and a challenge for many of us. We live and act in ways to prevent mistakes -- not taking risks, expanding our comfort zones or jumping outside the boxes we hide in and hide in another box. But our mistakes and failures are gifts, gems, guideposts in our learning and growth as people. So embrace failures, mistakes, stupidity and shortcomings because they not only make us uniquely who we are, but also teach us powerful lessons like the nine below.

1. Mistakes teach us to clarify what we really want and how we want to live. The word mistake derives meaning only by comparison to what we desire, what we see as success. Noticing and admitting our mistakes helps us to realise our commitments--what we really want to be, do, and have. Mistakes wake us up and focus our attention like a flashing sign that says "fix this". The urgency created causes us to focus on issues or problems that make us feel off track. Working on possible solutions, redefining what we want or expect, or reexamining our values or goals can lead us to more clarity about our path.

2. Mistakes teach us to accept ourselves and that we can be flawed and be loved. We can fully appreciate ourselves, even while acknowledging our screw ups. It is possible to laugh at our mistakes and then work hard to correct them. Most of us have a long history of putting ourselves down when we make a mistake But it's a self-defeating habit we must break so that we can start appreciating ourselves, mistakes and all. People who love and care about us will stick with us through all our flaws and floundering. And those who can't appreciate our humanness can and will leave, which is best for our self esteem. Our not so perfectness is what makes us unique and we are loved for it. So we should give ourselves a break and love our imperfections also.

3. Mistakes teach us to accept our fallibility and face our fear. Sometimes even our best efforts just don't work out. We might do everything possible to achieve a certain result and still fail, again and again. When this happens we can admit that we're stuck. Facing mistakes often takes us straight to the heart of our fears. And when we experience and face those fears, they can disappear. When we are stuck and admit that we can't do it alone it sends a signal and opens the door for help to show up. People, resources, and solutions will appear, especially when we ask for help.

4. Mistakes teach us about ourselves and how to tell our truth. It is natural to want to cover up our mistakes or be embarrassed by them. To feel like we wish we had a handy mistake eraser or remover. But being honest about our failures and limitations offer us opportunities to practice telling the truth. Admitting the truth allows us to expand our knowledge of self-to know who we are. And thus, increases our capacity to change and let go of what is beyond our control. It is like holding up a mirror to ourselves and really seeing. When we tell others about our mistakes, to let them really see us, it allows us to let go of the embarrassment, shame and blame we may feel so that we can concentrate on learning and growing.


5. Mistakes teach us, through analysis and feedback, about what works, and what doesn't. It's a reality check. When we experience the consequences of mistakes, we get a clear message about which of our efforts are working--and which are not. The feedback we get from our mistakes can be the most specific, pointed, and powerful feedback we'll ever get. Many times we can trace mistakes to recurring patterns of belief or behavior--things we do, say, and think over and over again. When we spot and change a habit we may find that other areas of our lives change for the better. One way to gain maximum benefit from mistakes is to examine them through the filter of powerful questions: "How can I use this experience?"; "What will I do differently next time?"; "How will I be different in the future?" Questions like these lead to an inquiry that invites solutions.

6. Mistakes teach us to take responsibility. Sometimes our instinctive reaction to a mistake is to shift blame elsewhere: "It's not my fault." "You never told me about that," Or the classic "I don't see how this has anything to do with me." It is more responsible and empowering to look for our role in the mistake. Taking responsibility for a failure may not be fun. But the act of doing so points out what we can do differently next time. Investigating our role reminds us that our choices and our actions have a huge influence on the quality of our lives.

7. Mistakes teach us about integrity. Mistakes often happen when we break promises, over-commit, agree to avoid conflict or fail to listen fully. Big mistakes often start as small errors. Over time, tiny choices that run counter to our values or goals can accumulate into breakdowns. Even our smallest choices have power, so it is important we pay attention to the integrity of the choices we make every day. Mistakes can be a signal that our words and our actions are out of alignment. In that case, we can re-examine our intentions, reconsider our commitments, and adjust our actions.

8. Mistakes teach us to engage in our lives -- to live fully. We are not our behaviors and we are more than our mistakes. We can remember that our history does not have to predict our future. And then remember that we have an opportunity to go all in--to participate fully. Many people, when faced with a big mistake, begin to withdraw. Instead, we can use the failure as evidence that we are growing, risking, and stretching to meet our potential. Mistakes help us to remember that we are not content to play it safe. That we understand that without risk there is sometimes no reward.

9. Mistakes allow us to inspire others. They may be inspired when we are courageous and make our private struggles public. They might decide to live differently. When a lifelong smoker who's dying of emphysema talks about the value of being smoke-free, we're apt to listen. The same kind of contribution also occurs when we speak candidly about less serious mistakes. As parents we can teach our children that it is OK to fail because we are willing to let them see our failures and mistakes. This gives us opportunities to talk through what we could or would have done differently. These are powerful lessons for those around us.

Hi, I am 16 years old studying in 11th grade. I am preparing for board exams and also attending FIITJEE coaching due to which I undergo a lot of depression and stress through out the year. I am not able to mange both together and not able to concentrate on either of them. How can I control depression and stress, as well as manage the time to concentrate on both these things and excel? Plse advice me!

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
I understand that you must be going through a lot of stress and anxiety about preparations and results of the exams. 1. Sometimes what helps is doing school from a state board or privately and doing coaching side by side. 2. Prioritising your studies based on your interests and strong subjects. You decide which chapters you want to be thorough with, and which you want to skim over. 3. Studying smart is important. So make points, and use all your senses like audio, visual and kinesthetic to help you absorb and retain longer. 4. Since you mention depression and stress, I suggest that you sleep for 6-7 hours to refresh mind and body. Eat only healthy and well balanced meals. Avoid junk completely as it is linked to anxiety and depression. Drink at least 2 lts of water but no smoking and alcohol as it is dehydrating and puts body under stress. 5. You need to distress and relax by having a hobby, meeting friends casually and playing some sports or walking, or gym. Exercises help release natural neurotransmitters in the brain which help you relax and feel confident.
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I have a headache and my board exams are starting in 2-3 days and I am tensed about it.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Please have a pain killer for your headache. Any allopathy medicine meant for stress busting will have side effects so I don't recommend that to you. Instead some life skills which will take away the stress during exam time will always stay with you to protect you from stress. Time Management Guidelines 1. Plan your time wisely. Those who fail to plan are planning to fail! 2. Establish goals: a. Know where you are going and what you want to accomplishb. Be motivated to accomplish your goalsc. Invest your time in a much more meaningful way 3. Update your goals continuously. 4. Prioritize your goals, using a 1-2-3 ranking. 1=extremely important; 2=somewhat important; 3=little importance. 5. Identify those activities you must accomplish to reach your goals. 6. Identify obstacles that will prohibit you from accomplishing your goals. 7. Schedule your activities, allowing time for: (1) essential activities, (2) routine tasks, (3) previous commitments, and (4) interruptions and crisis situations. 8. Allow yourself “planning time.” Schedule activities for the next day in the evening. 9. Allocate at least one hour a day for uncommitted time to take advantage of targets of opportunity or unanticipated demands on your time. 10. Eliminate “must” activities quickly to allow more time for more demanding activities. Eliminating “musts” will reduce tension and anxiety caused by interruptions and distractions. 11. Prepare a “daily activity list” in priority ranking 12. Learn to say “No!” 13. Establish a routine of when and where people can reach you. When people know times you are available, they will contact your during that time and not interrupt or distract you throughout the day 14. Learn to delegate! Any activity which someone else can do for you eg. Drive you to a tuition class. Give the job to them so that you get more time to prepare/ relax/ sleep etc. 15. Ask this question at all times: “What is the best use of my time at this moment in light of my goals? Besides the above: 1. Eat only healthy food and avoid processed, refined and junk food because it will tire you and your brain out faster than anything else. Junk food is linked to anxiety and depression also. 2. Keep drinking water to hydrate yourself. Thus will help you to concentrate and retain more than anything else. Avoid excess caffeine and alcohol as it slows down brain capacity to retain and reproduce. 3. Get your beauty sleep even during exams. Though this is a time eater but if you get your sleep then your capacity to study will increase drastically the next day to retain and reproduce. There are natural sleep inducers and stress busters in ayurveda which are safe to have. I would recommend those over allopathy. 4. Exercise everyday to increase blood and oxygen flow to the brain and body. Your mind will be sharp and alert all day and not get stressed out easily.
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After lost my girlfriend I feel working, valueless and aimless lifestyle since 5 years. I can not feel better or normal. Please suggest me some solution about it. Thanks.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Hello, I can understand your pain at losing one very important person in life. You probably had hopes of spending long time with her and had plans for the future and now nothing is going to happen. All these thoughts might be causing you sadness, disappointment and some anxiety and anger on the other hand. While it's important to be an important part of someone else's life, yet it's also important to know when to call it off if it's not working anymore. 1. At the age when you broke up it is common for boys and girls to get attracted to each other and spent some time together. But equally common is breakups when one or both see that their needs are too different now and the other person will not fit the requirements any more. While this process is very heart breaking, but it is also important so that you can meet different people and see who is your kind of person and who will help you in the next phase of life ie. Job, marriage children. 2. By going through different relationships you will also understand yourself better and what do you want from a potential partner and discover many hidden qualities and weaknesses in yourself. It's your growing edge to work through your weaknesses and sharpen your qualities. You will also discover your passion, dreams and hobbies and interests. 3. I suggest that you look at this breakup as a learning lesson and an opportunity to improve on any thing that was your mistake and assess your life choices again. What was meant to go will go. Let it go and you carry on with your journey. You are 29 years old and some years later you might start feeling too old to get married and setle. You might feel more lonely than you are feeling already. This leaves a bitter memory of the past and chances are that you will regret staying single for so long. 4. Being flexible and independant in relationships is important. There will be times when you might not have any body's support or company. That is the time to learn to be your own friend and give yourself that love, importance and value which you want from a close friend. This is healthy self love and very important for self confidence and high self esteem. Whether you are in love or not, valuing yourself at all points is a very important aspect of high self esteem and self confidence. 5. Indulge yourself with meeting new people, going places, discovering your passion, hobbies etc. Spend time alone with yourself to nurture the person within you. If you can not do these on your own, then please see a counsellor and take their help to help you get direction back in life.
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Is it true that hot / short tempered people are at high risk of getting and having high blood pressure? Or is it just temporary (at the moment that you are angry)? Can you explain the basis of this? What's the best advice to someone who has short temper. How to curb it?

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Hot temper could be one of the reasons for high bp but not the only one. With high negative emotionality like anger, stress and sadness, the circulatory, muscular, nervous and digestive system face continuous pressure to help dissipate the excess energy build up. Hence, the immune system gets compromised often and the person is open to falling ill often. 2. The person might also behave without thinking through his actions and may end up doing something that they regret later. 3. They are more susceptible to consuming drugs and alcohol as their immediate coping mechanism to relieve the stress that they are unable to face otherwise. 4. Anger held for long term can lead to rage converted into antisocial behavior leading to social adjustment issues and self esteem issues. Depression is another outcome of anger turned inwards or outwards. It is best to learn how to tame your anger and use it to articulate what you are experiencing or wanting from the other person. Assertive communication and" self and other" awareness are some of the best tools to manage anger.
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I lost somebody close last year and feels very depressed and prefer to keeping myself what I do?

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Hello, I can understand your pain at losing one very important person in life. You probably had hopes of spending long time with her and had plans for the future and now nothing is going to happen. All these thoughts might be causing you sadness, disappointment and some anxiety and anger on the other hand. While it's important to be an important part of someone else's life, yet it's also important to know when to call it off if it's not working anymore. 1. At this age it is common for boys and girls to get attracted to each other and spent some time together. But equally common is breakups when one or both see that their needs are too different now and the other person will not fit the requirements any more. While this process is very heart breaking, but it is also important so that you can meet different people and see who is your kind of person and who will help you in the next phase of life ie. Job, marriage children. 2. By going through different relationships you will also understand yourself better and discover many hidden qualities and weaknesses in you. It's your growing edge to work through your weaknesses and sharpen your qualities. You will also discover your passion, dreams and hobbies and interests. 3. I suggest that you look at this breakup as a learning lesson and an opportunity to improve on any thing that was your mistake and assess your life choices again. What was meant to go will go. Let it go and you carry on with your journey. 4. Being flexible and independant in relationships is important. There will be times when you might not have any body's support or company. That is the time to learn to be your own friend and give yourself that love which you want from a close friend. This is healthy self love and very important for self confidence and high self esteem. 5. Indulge yourself with meeting new people, going places, discovering your passion, hobbies etc. Spend time alone with yourself to nurture the person within you.
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MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATIONS

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND ARGUMENTS? CHANGE THEM INTO FLOWING CONVERSATIONS

Misunderstandings and arguments? change them into flowing conversation
Conflicts and misunderstandings occur at all levels of interaction - at work, among friends, within families and between relationship partners. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened. Thus, conflict is a critical event in the course of a relationship. Arguments and misunderstandings can cause resentment, hostility and perhaps the ending of the relationship. If it is handled well, however, it can be productive - leading to deeper understanding, mutual respect and closeness. The health of any relationship is gauged by how the conflicts are resolved, rather than the number of conflicts between the participants.
Conflicts run all the way from minor, unimportant differences to disputes which can threaten the existence of a relationship. Conflicts with a loved one or a long-term friend are, of course, different from negotiating with someone who does not care about your needs, like a stranger or a salesperson.
 Principles that underscores all successful conflict resolution.
1. Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved together so that both parties have the feeling of winning.
2. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to finding answers which are as fair as possible to both.
We may get so caught up with our own immediate interests that we damage our relationships. If we disregard the position of the other person, if fear and power are used to win, or if we always have to get our own way, the other person will feel hurt and the relationship may be wounded. Similarly, if we always surrender just to avoid conflict, we give the message to the other person that it is acceptable to be bullied and our needs don't matter. Our feeling of self-worth suffers, resentment surfaces, and we feel frustrated in the relationship. Instead, it is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.
Some effective strategies to hold effective communications:
1. Initial agreement: the other person may be very angry with you and may be having loads of evidence to prove himself right. At that time, instead of arguing your position, simply agree at that time because there will be a grain of truth if nothing else. This doesn't mean that you are giving up your values and principles. Sometimes it's important to diffuse the emotional charge before working out on the differences. Sometimes it's ok to 'lose' individually in order to 'win' together in the end.
2. Empathy: sometimes putting yourself in the other person shoes and seeing the problem from their perspective helps build bridges. You could say,' I feel that you must be very upset with me for behaving like that with you, I should have been more considerate'. Half the battle is won and the other participant feels validated and will be more willing to listen to your tale of woes more amicably.
3. Ask questions: when you ask questions, it shows that you care and are interested in resolving the problem at hand. Please note that while asking questions, be watchful of your words and tone. Asking exploratory questions about the other persons thoughts and feelings rather than probing and insulting questions can take you miles on the way to effective resolution. For eg. 'is there anything that you would like me to know about this problem'?
4. Using 'i' statements: take responsibility for your own thoughts and feelings rather than blaming the other person for making you feel like that. This decreases the chance that the other person will become defensive. For example, 'i feel pretty upset that this thing has come between us.' this statement is much more effective than saying, 'you have made me feel very upset.'
5. Compliments: find something nice and genuine to say about the other person, even if the other is angry with you. Show a respectful attitude. For example, 'i genuinely respect you for having the courage to bring this problem to me. I admire your strength and your caring attitude.'
A rational approach to resolving conflicts
Here is a model that may help in resolving interpersonal conflicts.
1. Identify the problem. Have a discussion to understand both sides of the problem. The goal at this initial stage is to say what you want and to listen to what the other person wants. Define the things that you both agree on, as well as the ideas that have caused the disagreement. It is important to listen actively to what the other is saying, use 'i' statements and avoid blame.
2. Come up with several possible solutions. This is the brainstorming phase. Drawing on the points that you both agree on and your shared goals, generate a list of as many ideas as you can for solving the problem, regardless of how feasible they might be. Aim for the quantity of ideas rather than quality during this phase, and let creativity be your guide.
3. Evaluate these alternative solutions. Now go through the list of alternative solutions to the problem, one by one. Consider the pros and cons of the remaining solutions until the list is narrowed down to one or two of the best ways of handling the problem. It is important for each person to be honest in this phase. The solutions might not be ideal for either person and may involve compromise.
4. Decide on the best solution. Select the solution that seems mutually acceptable, even if it is not perfect for either party. As long as it seems fair and there is a mutual commitment to work with the decision, the conflict has a chance for resolution.
5. Implement the solution. It is important to agree on the details of what each party must do, who is responsible for implementing various parts of the agreement, and what to do in case the agreement starts to break down.
6. Continue to evaluate the solution. Conflict resolutions should be seen as works in progress. Make it a point to ask the other person from time to time how things are going. Something unexpected might have come up or some aspect of the problem may have been overlooked. Your decisions should be seen as open to revision, as long as the revisions are agreed upon mutually.

Keep in mind that differences will come up in any relationship just because you two are different individuals with different perspectives, ideologies, attitudes and perceptions. Too much similarity may be comforting but can be very boring and uninspiring overtime. On the other hand, differences bring change, novelty and an added spice to the relationship. Two very different people can pool their different strengths and work together as a stronger team. Though, extreme differences may over time out the relationship and make a living or working together difficult. A person may then choose to opt out after an amicable 'goodbye'.

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I have high blood pressure for the pass 15 yrs, I'm now 39, try very hard to have baby. I request the doc in polyclinic to switch my medicine to the type that suitable to have baby. But my pressure is always on the high side after the switch, the reading is always 150/110. I'm feeling very depress. What should I do? Please advise.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Hello, I understand that having a baby is very important for you and somewhere in your mind, probably your time clock is ticking away saying that you are getting older now and may not have a baby. And you are so keen to have a baby of your own? this thought alone might be a cause for more anxiety, sense of loss, sadness and anger with yourself. However, I would like to bring to your notice that overthinking about this or anything else will only bring emotional imbalance leading to more bp fluctuations. Our mind and body are connected and any mental and emotional imbalance causes an imbalance in the body. 1. Please exercise everyday within your capacity to burn off the excess calories and fat intake. Exercising will also help in uplifting your mood and improve your self image and give you a sense of control over your body. 2. Eat only healthy food limiting oil, sugars, processed and refined foods to the bare minimum. Raw and whole food diet having more of fruits, vegetables, whole grains is known to control and reduce rising bp. Add a source of good fats like walnuts, nuts and oil seeds to improve your heart functioning. Cut out meats and unhealthy cooking styles and choose steaming, stir frying over boiling and frying. 3. Yoga, meditation etc to control your anxiety and calm down the mind to help become emotionally stable and peaceful. This will also keep your bp stable. Bhramri and anulom vilom are especially 2 pranayamas very helpful in bringing emotional balance. 4. Counselling to help you learn tips and techniques to manage stressful events without losing your mental and emotional equilibrium. You will be able to cope with stress and learn to manage stress and tension with ease. 5. Only when you are healthy, will your baby be healthy. It will need a lot of attention and care when it arrives. What kind of life do you want to give your child? please consider the chances of you not feeling fit enough to take care of the baby keeping your health in mind. 6. Consider other options of having a child: would you rather consider adopting a baby over putting your body through this stress. Or would you like to volunteer your time in a childrens playhome or shelters where abandoned children are taken care of? there are number of ways that you can still meet your need to bring up a child and feel worthwhile and fulfilled. Please consider your options and their pros and cons before rushing in to any decision. Take care.
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Hi. I just got back on citalopram after switching to Escitalopram on Dec 8 of last year. I was on Citalopram for many years for anxiety and I was pretty much stable with bouts of anxiety here and there but was always able to bounce back. I experienced a very anxious event in early Dec which.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Just taking medication will only correct the chemical imbalances in the brain. While you also need to learn techniques to handle situations with ease and aplomb without losing your mental and emotional equilibrium. Stress has always been a part of life ans will be. It is always better to equip yourself with such tips and techniques. Counselling is such a non judgemental space whwere ou can explore the causes of your anxiety and get to more about your unhealthy outdated beliefs and replace them with healthier and updated beliefs which will leave you feeling more confident about yourself, your relationships and situations which earlier caused you stress. 2. Learning a skill which could help you feel confident is a good way of handling stress. Eg. If you are teaching young kids and you do not know how to teach them. Then it will cause you anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. The b. Ed course will give you all those skills and info that you need for teaching children. 3. Exercise everyday to manage anxiety. A good run, swim, jog will help you to calm down and relax, feeling good about yourself. Breathing exercises will help you to calm down and relax at the time of stress. Anulom vilom and bhramri are 2 pranayams which are very good for anxiety reduction. Do these everyday for 5 mins before sleeping. 3. Avoid junk like fried, processed, refined etc as it is linked to stress and anxiety. Eat more of fresh, raw and whole foods with minimum processing.
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My board exams are near and I am very stressed. I have pain in my head and watery eyes. Help me.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Please follow the tips below to improve your memory and concentration. The key to becoming a successful student is learning how to study smarter, not harder. This becomes more and more true as you advance in your education. An hour or two of studying a day is usually sufficient to make it through high school with satisfactory grades, but when college arrives, there aren't enough hours in the day to get all your studying in if you don't know how to study smarter. While some students are able to breeze through school with minimal effort, this is the exception. The vast majority of successful students achieve their success by developing and applying effective study habits. The following are the top 10 study habits employed by highly successful students. So if you want to become a succesful student, don't get discouraged, don't give up, just work to develop each of the study habits below and you'll see your grades go up, your knowledge increase, and your ability to learn and assimilate information improve. 1. Don't attempt to cram all your studying into one session. Ever find yourself up late at night spending more energy trying to keep your eyelids open than you are studying? if so, it's time for a change. Successful students typically space their work out over shorter periods of time and rarely try to cram all of their studying into just one or two sessions. If you want to become a successful student then you need to learn to be consistent in your studies and to have regular, yet shorter, study periods. 2. Plan when you're going to study. Successful students schedule specific times throughout the week when they are going to study -- and then they stick with their schedule. Students who study inconsistently usually do not perform as well as students who have a set study schedule. Even if you're all caught up with your studies, creating a weekly routine, where you set aside a period of time a few days a week, to review your courses will ensure you develop habits that will enable you to succeed in your education long term. 3. Study at the same time. Not only is it important that you plan when you're going to study, it's important you create a consistent, daily study routine. When you study at the same time each day and each week, you're studying will become a regular part of your life. You'll be mentally and emotionally more prepared for each study session and each study session will become more productive. If you have to change your schedule from time to time due to unexpected events, that's okay, but get back on your routine as soon as the event has passed. 4. Each study time should have a specific goal. Simply studying without direction is not effective. You need to know exactly what you need to accomplish during each study session. Before you start studying, set a study session goal that supports your overall academic goal (i. E. Memorize 30 vocabulary words in order to ace the vocabulary section on an upcoming language test.) 5. Never procrasitinate your planned study session. It's very easy, and common, to put off your study session because of lack of interest in the subject, because you have other things you need to get done, or just because the assignment is hard. Successful students do not procrastinate studying. If you procrastinate your study session, your studying will become much less effective and you may not get everything accomplished that you need to. Procrastination also leads to rushing, and rushing is the number one cause of errors. 6. Start with the most difficult subject first. As your most diffult assignment or subject will require the most effort and mental energy, you should start with it first. Once you've completed the most difficult work, it will be much easier to complete the rest of your work. Believe it or not, starting with the most difficult subject will greatly improve the effectiveness of your study sessions, and your academic performance. 7. Always review your notes before starting an assigment. Obviously, before you can review your notes you must first have notes to review. Always make sure to take good notes in class. Before you start each study session, and before you start a particular assignment, review your notes thoroughly to make sure you know how to complete the assignment correctly. Reviewing your notes before each study session will help you remember important subject matter learned during the day, and make sure studying targeted and effective. 8. Make sure you're not distracted whiles you're studying. Everyone gets distracted by something. Maybe it's the tv. Or your family. Or maybe it's too quiet. Some people actually study better with a little background noise. When you're distracted while you're studying you (1) loose your train of thought and (2) you're unable to focus -- both of which will lead to very ineffective studying. Before you start studying find a place where you won't be disturbed or distracted. Some students like the library where it is quiet and books around you to help focus. 9. Use study groups effectively. Ever heard the phrase" two heads are better than one" well this can be especially true when it comes to studying. Working in groups enables you to (1) get help from others when you're struggling to understand a concept, (2) complete assignments more quickly, and (3) teach others whereby helping both the other students and yourselve to internalize the subject matter. However, study groups can become very ineffective if they're not structured and if groups members come unprepared. Effective students use study groups effectively. 10. Review your notes, schoolwork and other class materials over the weekend. Successful students review what they've learned during the week over the weekend. This way they're well prepared to continue learning new concepts that build upon previous coursework and knowledge acquired the previous week. If you are not able to do stress management on your own then you should see a counselor and learn tips in stress management. For watering eyes please meet an eye doctor plus give enough rest to your eyes by taking frequent breaks from studying.
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I am 18. I am in a state of depression due to upcoming board exams. Please suggest me any mild antidepressant or any other option to feel better and concentrate.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
It is natural to be anxious when you are writing an important exam so that you do well but excess anxiety can be counterproductive and hinder your learning and revision. If you are suffering from depression, then you will need to take psychiatric treatment and undergo psychological counselling as well to manage depression. Cognitive behaviour therapy is excellent for controlling rumination and negative thinking, anger management and any emotional disturbance. You can also look at alternate sciences to help you with depression because they don't have side effects. 1. You need to understand the source of your emotional upheaval and learn to either manage with it or cope with it so that you can concentrate on your studies. 3. Exercising regularly within your capacity is very important so that natural neuro are released in the brain and you will feel relax and calmer and more confident and motivated to do many things. You can run, walk, gym, dance, whatever you can and want to do. 4. Avoid all kind od processed and refined foods and replace with fresh fruit and vegetables for your nutrition. You need more of lean proteins, omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin b12 and vitamin d3 for optimal brain functioning and emotional wellbeing. 5. Sleeping well for 6-8 hours every night is important for the brain to recoup from daily stress and body from physical stress. Please do bhramri and anulom vilom pranayama to help you sleep well every evening for 10 min each. Please give your exams only that much importance that is due to it because life is more than these exams and not everything in your life depends on them.
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10 IMPORTANT KEYS FOR SUCCESS IN EXAMS

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,

10 IMPORTANT KEYS FOR SUCCESS IN EXAMS

The key to becoming a successful student is learning how to study smarter, not harder. This becomes more and more true as you advance in your education. An hour or two of studying a day is usually sufficient to make it through high school with satisfactory grades, but when college arrives, there aren't enough hours in the day to get all your studying in if you don't know how to study smarter.

While some students are able to breeze through school with minimal effort, this is the exception. The vast majority of successful students achieve their success by developing and applying effective study habits. The following are the top 10 study habits employed by highly successful students. So if you want to become a succesful student, don't get discouraged, don't give up, just work to develop each of the study habits below and you'll see your grades go up, your knowledge increase, and your ability to learn and assimilate information improve.

1. Don't attempt to cram all your studying into one session.
Ever find yourself up late at night spending more energy trying to keep your eyelids open than you are studying? if so, it's time for a change. Successful students typically space their work out over shorter periods of time and rarely try to cram all of their studying into just one or two sessions. If you want to become a successful student then you need to learn to be consistent in your studies and to have regular, yet shorter, study periods.

2. Plan when you're going to study.
Successful students schedule specific times throughout the week when they are going to study -- and then they stick with their schedule. Students who study inconsistently usually do not perform as well as students who have a set study schedule. Even if you're all caught up with your studies, creating a weekly routine, where you set aside a period of time a few days a week, to review your courses will ensure you develop habits that will enable you to succeed in your education long term.

3. Study at the same time.
Not only is it important that you plan when you're going to study, it's important you create a consistent, daily study routine. When you study at the same time each day and each week, you're studying will become a regular part of your life. You'll be mentally and emotionally more prepared for each study session and each study session will become more productive. If you have to change your schedule from time to time due to unexpected events, that's okay, but get back on your routine as soon as the event has passed.

4. Each study time should have a specific goal.
Simply studying without direction is not effective. You need to know exactly what you need to accomplish during each study session. Before you start studying, set a study session goal that supports your overall academic goal (i. E. Memorize 30 vocabulary words in order to ace the vocabulary section on an upcoming language test.)

5. Never procrasitinate your planned study session.
It's very easy, and common, to put off your study session because of lack of interest in the subject, because you have other things you need to get done, or just because the assignment is hard. Successful students do not procrastinate studying. If you procrastinate your study session, your studying will become much less effective and you may not get everything accomplished that you need to. Procrastination also leads to rushing, and rushing is the number one cause of errors.

6. Start with the most difficult subject first.
As your most diffult assignment or subject will require the most effort and mental energy, you should start with it first. Once you've completed the most difficult work, it will be much easier to complete the rest of your work. Believe it or not, starting with the most difficult subject will greatly improve the effectiveness of your study sessions, and your academic performance.

7. Always review your notes before starting an assigment.
Obviously, before you can review your notes you must first have notes to review. Always make sure to take good notes in class. Before you start each study session, and before you start a particular assignment, review your notes thoroughly to make sure you know how to complete the assignment correctly. Reviewing your notes before each study session will help you remember important subject matter learned during the day, and make sure studying targeted and effective.

8. Make sure you're not distracted whiles you're studying.
Everyone gets distracted by something. Maybe it's the tv. Or your family. Or maybe it's too quiet. Some people actually study better with a little background noise. When you're distracted while you're studying you (1) loose your train of thought and (2) you're unable to focus -- both of which will lead to very ineffective studying. Before you start studying find a place where you won't be disturbed or distracted. Some students like the library where it is quiet and books around you to help focus. 

9. Use study groups effectively.
Ever heard the phrase" two heads are better than one? well this can be especially true when it comes to studying. Working in groups enables you to (1) get help from others when you're struggling to understand a concept, (2) complete assignments more quickly, and (3) teach others whereby helping both the other students and yourselve to internalize the subject matter. However, study groups can become very ineffective if they're not structured and if groups members come unprepared. Effective students use study groups effectively.

10. Review your notes, schoolwork and other class materials over the weekend.
Successful students review what they've learned during the week over the weekend. This way they're well prepared to continue learning new concepts that build upon previous coursework and knowledge acquired the previous week.

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My cousin child aged 16 years having habit of stealing money from friends and relatives home, is this habit is curable by medicine, he also stopped going to school and misbehaves with parents. Which specialist should we consult.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Sometimes if parents have not looked into what the child wants to buy instead they have brought stuff of their choice or deprived the child of such pleasures or been overly indulgent and never taught him that he can not pick up stuff that does not belong to him. Children tend to learn to steal. 1. This habit needs to be understood first and then look at possible solutions by calling the family for family therapy and giving space to all members of the family an unbiased and confidential environment to talk about their needs which were not met including expectations from each other. This exercise can build back the burnt bridges and get a chance to communicate without fear of implications. 2. F the parents have been very strict in their parenting style, then they need to update their beliefs about parenting and develop a new strategy which brings them emotionally closer to their child rather than create distance and differences. 3. Since your cousin is a teen, they need a different kind of parental attention. His parents could also explore any outdated myths and beloefs that they hold about teens. 4. Your cousin needs to realise and acknowledge his boundaries and know that such acts have legal and social implications which might land him in legal trouble and social ostracization. What is his need to get that kind of attention? 5. He could benefit from some rehabilitative and counselling process to help him give direction and meaning to his life. He might find answers to some questions which could be troubling him. How does he make place for himself in this world and what should he do to be a part of his gang of friends or who should he befriend? he might also need some psychiatric treatment if the counsellor feels that will help your cousin.
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I am losing my memory power and brain activeness so I can't maggub anything how to increase memory power and brain active power.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Please follow the tips below to improve your memory and concentration. The key to becoming a successful student is learning how to study smarter, not harder. This becomes more and more true as you advance in your education. An hour or two of studying a day is usually sufficient to make it through high school with satisfactory grades, but when college arrives, there aren't enough hours in the day to get all your studying in if you don't know how to study smarter. While some students are able to breeze through school with minimal effort, this is the exception. The vast majority of successful students achieve their success by developing and applying effective study habits. The following are the top 10 study habits employed by highly successful students. So if you want to become a succesful student, don't get discouraged, don't give up, just work to develop each of the study habits below and you'll see your grades go up, your knowledge increase, and your ability to learn and assimilate information improve. 1. Don't attempt to cram all your studying into one session. Ever find yourself up late at night spending more energy trying to keep your eyelids open than you are studying? if so, it's time for a change. Successful students typically space their work out over shorter periods of time and rarely try to cram all of their studying into just one or two sessions. If you want to become a successful student then you need to learn to be consistent in your studies and to have regular, yet shorter, study periods. 2. Plan when you're going to study. Successful students schedule specific times throughout the week when they are going to study -- and then they stick with their schedule. Students who study inconsistently usually do not perform as well as students who have a set study schedule. Even if you're all caught up with your studies, creating a weekly routine, where you set aside a period of time a few days a week, to review your courses will ensure you develop habits that will enable you to succeed in your education long term. 3. Study at the same time. Not only is it important that you plan when you're going to study, it's important you create a consistent, daily study routine. When you study at the same time each day and each week, you're studying will become a regular part of your life. You'll be mentally and emotionally more prepared for each study session and each study session will become more productive. If you have to change your schedule from time to time due to unexpected events, that's okay, but get back on your routine as soon as the event has passed. 4. Each study time should have a specific goal. Simply studying without direction is not effective. You need to know exactly what you need to accomplish during each study session. Before you start studying, set a study session goal that supports your overall academic goal (i. E. Memorize 30 vocabulary words in order to ace the vocabulary section on an upcoming language test.) 5. Never procrasitinate your planned study session. It's very easy, and common, to put off your study session because of lack of interest in the subject, because you have other things you need to get done, or just because the assignment is hard. Successful students do not procrastinate studying. If you procrastinate your study session, your studying will become much less effective and you may not get everything accomplished that you need to. Procrastination also leads to rushing, and rushing is the number one cause of errors. 6. Start with the most difficult subject first. As your most diffult assignment or subject will require the most effort and mental energy, you should start with it first. Once you've completed the most difficult work, it will be much easier to complete the rest of your work. Believe it or not, starting with the most difficult subject will greatly improve the effectiveness of your study sessions, and your academic performance. 7. Always review your notes before starting an assigment. Obviously, before you can review your notes you must first have notes to review. Always make sure to take good notes in class. Before you start each study session, and before you start a particular assignment, review your notes thoroughly to make sure you know how to complete the assignment correctly. Reviewing your notes before each study session will help you remember important subject matter learned during the day, and make sure studying targeted and effective. 8. Make sure you're not distracted whiles you're studying. Everyone gets distracted by something. Maybe it's the tv. Or your family. Or maybe it's too quiet. Some people actually study better with a little background noise. When you're distracted while you're studying you (1) loose your train of thought and (2) you're unable to focus -- both of which will lead to very ineffective studying. Before you start studying find a place where you won't be disturbed or distracted. Some students like the library where it is quiet and books around you to help focus. 9. Use study groups effectively. Ever heard the phrase" two heads are better than one" well this can be especially true when it comes to studying. Working in groups enables you to (1) get help from others when you're struggling to understand a concept, (2) complete assignments more quickly, and (3) teach others whereby helping both the other students and yourselve to internalize the subject matter. However, study groups can become very ineffective if they're not structured and if groups members come unprepared. Effective students use study groups effectively. 10. Review your notes, schoolwork and other class materials over the weekend. Successful students review what they've learned during the week over the weekend. This way they're well prepared to continue learning new concepts that build upon previous coursework and knowledge acquired the previous week.
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I have sleeping issues as well anxiety due to this I am suffering from premature ejaculation, coming within minutes while doing sex my wife is very irritative about my sex problem, please suggest proper medication for the same.

Hypnotherapist, DCS, BSIC, Advanced Trainee of Transactional Analysis, Advanced Skills in Counselling
Psychologist,
Hello. Sometimes these medications have side effects causing sexual dysfunction. Please talk to your doctor about this. Besides, you can undergo counselling to learn to manage anxiety because you will understand why you feel anxious and how you can train your mind to react with confidence and poise in stressful situations without becoming overwhelmed with anxiety. Your anxiety and sleep disturbance could be related, thus it is important to learn how to reduce anxiety thoughts before sleeping and instead replacing them with calming thoughts which will aid you to sleep. Your anxiety seems to get the better of you in bed as well. Again, a counsellor can teach you ways and techniques to feel confident and calm while having sex with your wife. If penetrative causes anxiety, then both of you can restart your sexual relationship with just non penetrative sex where you learn to pleasure each other through touching, caressing, kissing, hugging, love talk etc. Learning what pleasures your partner in bed and what are your pleasure points in your body is very important as it helps gain mastery on the next step of penetrative sex. Thus act also brings the couple emotionally close and is vry relaxing for both if there are few expectations and performance pressure is minimised. Your counsellor could also help you bust some myths and outdated beliefs about sex which might be making you feel anxious. Exercising regularly helps keep anxiety away and gain confidence overy ones body and mind. Junk food is known to cause sleeplessness and anxiety. So I recommend you to cut out junk and replace with healthy and we'll balanced meals.
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