Dr. Arun MuthuvelCall
More about Dr. Arun Muthuvel
It is no secret that when you pleasure yourself 'the right way', it would definitely pump you up for your next session. However, there are several other ways which are unconventional and yet as beneficial and helpful as regular masturbation. Debunking all myths that masturbation reduces erectile functioning or sperm count level or even sexual fertility, these unconventional techniques can definitely help you in various ways; providing you with the right kind of satisfaction and fulfillment and boosting your overall stamina. However, excessive masturbation is strongly recommended against as it has its long-term side-effects.
Hampered drive for physical intimacy may not be the case with everybody suffering from cancer. Since, each individual is different with varied sexual needs, it is rather impossible to predict how cancer would affect a person’s sex drive. But certain treatments of cancer might take a toll on your libido and subsequently, your sex life.
Cancer and certain treatments of cancer, can be the reason behind your low libido as they can cause:
1. Imbalance in the sex hormones
2. Scarring of the skin
3. Breathing problems
4. Diarrhea or bowel problems
6. Tension or anxiety
7. Depression or sadness
9. Fatigue (Tiredness)
10. Persistent sickness
With any of these side-effects, you may not have the urge of indulging in sexual intercourse because of the constant irritability and pain, essentially resulting from weakness. You might also think less of yourself, with no care for the way you dress up, make up or do your hair as you used to do before. With fatigue playing nemesis to your libido, you may feel entirely washed out, exhausted and spent after your intensive chemotherapy sessions.
How do you address this problem?
1. Speak out: Try unburdening yourself of the worries and anxiety in front of your partner or the doctor and make them understand how you truly feel about yourself. They may be able to guide you home.
2. Plan your rumble beforehand: You can plan your sexual activity by taking pain killers an hour prior to lovemaking.
3. Foreplay helps: Remember, sexual contact cannot spread cancer, ever. An intense session of foreplay has never disappointed anybody and it might work wonders if you have been going through all the rigor of cancer and its treatment lately. It would make you feel genuinely cared for; this might just egg you on to come out of that shell of depression and anxiety and enjoy sex like the way you used to.
Severe pain during intercourse causes difficulty in a relationship in both partners. Sometimes a sustained occurrence of pain might be an indication of some serious medical dysfunction. As such, consult a doctor as soon as the pain arises. Contrary to popular beliefs, sexual pain can occur in both male and female.
In female, the reasons behind the painful sexual intercourse might be:
Vaginismus, a condition when the vaginal muscles tighten up mainly due to anxiety or fear and causes significant pain with a tearing sensation.
The pain can arise due to vaginal yeast infections or any form of sexually transmitted disease or pelvic inflammatory diseases.
A severe injury in the vagina during childbirth or any other accident and psychological stress can also cause severe pain during sex.
Sometimes, menopause or uterine problems (formation of fibroids in the uterus) can also cause pain.
Cyst formation in the ovary or endometriosis (when the inner tissue lining of the uterus tends to grow outside) can also cause severe pain during intercourse.
Some men can experience pain during intercourse because of allergy to the fluids of the vagina or the chemical content of certain contraceptives.
You can experience pain because of undiagnosed sexually transmitted diseases like herpes or gonorrhea
The pain might also occur due to urinary tract infections or side effects from certain medications.
Severe pain just a few moments before ejaculation can be a result of inflammation of the prostate glands and should be immediately diagnosed as it might be a signal of prostate cancer.
For treating pain during sex in female, you should opt for the following procedures-
If the pain is caused due to vaginal dryness after menopause, you should consider the application of prescribed lubricants or jellies to reduce the pain.
If the pain occurs due to severe anxiety or stress, sex therapy can help you improve physical intimacy.
If there are other symptoms like severe bleeding or irregular periods in addition to the pain, a visit to the physician is recommended.
Quite similarly in men
If the pain occurs due to severe anxiety or stress, sex therapy can help you improve physical intimacy.
If the pain results from side effects of certain medications, you should try changing your prescribed medication after doctor’s suggestion.
In extreme cases, the doctors might suggest hormone replacement surgery.
Meditation is one of the holistic approaches that can offer you great success in both your personal and professional life, but has even greater advantages in your love life. Some poses in meditation can boost your sexual life and you got to practice them on a regular basis in order to get maximized effects. There are many people who think that meditation can increase libido flow and sexual desire, but this is totally a wrong conception.
Though you will have instant effects by medication, but the effects will not last for long and on the other hand, you might even experience a lot of unwanted side-effects. This is the reason medications have now been successfully replaced by means of sexual meditation which is completely natural and safe. You can have consultation with any professional meditation expert for getting immense knowledge on sexual meditation.
Benefits of Meditation in Sexual Life
Brings Energetic Sex: If you meditate in a peaceful mind for long hours, then your mind and body will have greater rest as a result of which you can get highest energy and stamina in lovemaking with your partner. You will receive a good amount of sleep during the night time and thus can show huge energy during sexual playtime.
Inviting Better Orgasm: If your mental stress gets decreased, then only your concentration level will increase. This concentration level is needed for boosting sexual thoughts, which automatically leads to satisfactory orgasm. Different kinds of mental blockages causing interruption in sexual arousal can be eliminated from the root by practising meditation. If you have a satisfactory orgasm, then your nerves will also get relaxed and you can get improved mental and physical rest.
Avoids Distraction: You will never get distracted rather you will always remain focused on your partner. In this way, you will automatically get seduced without any kind of external provocation and thus, healthy sexual interaction can be resulted. You can now get the fullest energy of continuing your lovemaking sessions for long hours without any kind of interruptions or distractions.
Improve Sexual Relationship: Differences in between you and your partner can be easily resolved and thus, your sex life can be improved. If you have personal or relationship issues, then you cannot even think of physical intimacy. This is the reason proper meditation is required. Meditation can help you to get rid of married-life complications that usually stand as the main barriers of sex life.
Contrary to what most girls have been led to believe about the hymen being a flat tissue that covers the vagina and is ripped during penetrative intercourse, the truth is that hymen is a fringe of tissue around the vaginal opening. It is not an intact tissue draping across the vaginal wall because without any outlet for the menstrual blood, girls would get periods only after they lose their virginity.
Here are a few mind-boggling facts about the hymen.
Physical intimacy forms a vital part of romantic relationships, marital or otherwise. Going by the general hierarchy of human needs, the drive for sex is one of the basic urges of a human being that needs to be fulfilled before moving on to higher level needs, which include security and companionship.
Sex in a relationship is very important because:
1. It ensures the overall satisfaction of both the individuals in the relationship.
2. It helps in forging a deeper emotional connect with the partner, thereby, establishing trust and understanding.
3. Sexual intimacy helps in establishing a rather firm relationship base, thus facilitating a stronger psychological bond.
4. Sex helps both the partners acknowledge the worth of the relationship, even more. Since, there is more clarity and transparency, sex helps both the partners come absolutely clean in terms of what they want from the relationship.
Foreplay helps in establishing trust in the relationship by letting the partner know that the other wants to stay with him/her and it is not the act of sexual intercourse that is only important. The lack of sex in a romantic relationship reduces the psychological wellbeing of both the partners and their emotional and physical satisfaction and takeaways from the relationship.
It is important to not use sexual act as a weapon or as an answer to disputes. This eventually results in the degradation of the relationship. In most marital or couple counselling sessions, the partners are questioned about their sex life and encouraged to enhance it, but not as a solution to their emotional problems. It is only advised to bring the couple closer. Research suggests that physical intimacy is a close second to emotional intimacy in relationships and they both go hand in hand in bettering the relationship. Needs, both sexual and emotional, require equal fulfilment to ensure a long standing relationship. However, both the types of needs need to be prioritized, and this priority varies among couples and both partners must work towards striking a balance between the two.
After the advent of the internet, the availability of pornography or explicit video material has become widespread. The availability of this material resulted in a large section of the population relying on it for sexual pleasures as well as living their fantasies through the digital realm.
Internet porn is the new drug
The easy availability and the dependence on internet porn to get a quick fix of dopamine through sexual pleasure have resulted in patterns of addiction among many people. Porn addiction is a phenomenon which has been exacerbated by the easy availability of pornography on the internet. It has not only affected sexual habits such as masturbation, but has also caused hindrances in the daily lives of people and has become a mental disorder as well.
A brain on porn is similar to a brain on alcohol
While it may seem a bit far-fetched, studies of brain scans have shown that people watching porn experience the same effects or pleasure that alcohol gives them. It is a neural circuit which releases pleasure hormones when you sexually pleasure yourself by masturbating to porn. The reward circuit of the brain recognizes this pattern and starts creating please pathways where you want more of it. As you keep doing it more and more, the resistance level increases and you tend to need more. This is a classic sign of addiction.
Healthy and unhealthy masturbation
Masturbation is a natural and normal process that every human indulges in. However a brain addicted to porn will use it as an addict uses a substance. Masturbation is the physical act through which the dopamine would be released. Once it has become an addiction, you would either want to have the daily fix for at least a few hours which you would ensure to take out of your daily routine. This time could have been invested in other fruitful activities when it ends up going to the addiction. In some cases, studies have shown that many would rather do it a few times a week but would spend extended hours masturbating to porn.
Effects of excess masturbation
Some of effects of the porn addiction and excessive masturbation could be
Erectile dysfunction when you are with a partner and in a real life scenario due to dependence on particular porn fantasies
Inability to have or form intimate relationships which are not just sexual but emotional and mental as well
Lethargy to go to work or school due to addiction related problems
Breakdown in relationships, even with family members and friends among many others
It is thus, imperative that you seek sexologist help to slow down the habit and break the cycle of addiction and ensure that you are able to lead a normal life without disruptions so as to allow yourself to be able to form normal sexual relationships.
Letting go and speaking up or crying out is the best aphrodisiac and marriage problems solver says Dr. Vaibhav lunkad
Of all the cases of erectile dysfunction we get to see at aaiina clinic 162 shukrawarpeth pune we found that 40% almost were due to psychosomatic problems such as misunderstanding, misconceptions, misperceptions, misbehaviour and habits of missing, messing and masking emotions or actions.
Just one session of detailed counseling and psychotherapy for one hour and the mutual satisfaction of the couples and us was immeasurable. Their relations all renewed, relieved and resumed. To understand one another, it's necessary to go beyond logic and accept the intricacies of human body, mind, and relationships without bias and prejudice. To allow a person to be as he, she or a bisexual or gay is, is real love. To" forgive and forget" without reminding again helps resume all broken relationships too. To have humour, hunger and humility (letting go, keeps the flame of" romance, sex and love" ignited always. To be" at ease or dis-ease" is a choice we can make every moment. After menopause or andropause or any other problems what is required is" listening attentively without judging, taunting, expecting anything at all. Giving and for-giving childlike returns back immeasurably even from a strained relation,
So kill your ego and misunderstanding, misconceptions, misperceptions, misbehaviour and just keep shut a dirty mouth and leave habits of" missing, messing and masking emotions or actions.
Life literally changes by 180 and you can" reignite romance, love and sex" back in your and other's life just atm (anytime)
Letting go and speaking up or crying out is the best aphrodisiac and marriage problems solver says Dr. Vaibhav Lunkad
Peer pressure is always difficult to deal with, especially when it comes to sex. Many girls feel the pressure from friends to have sex before they're ready, which is why it's so important to have the confidence to say no to something you don't feel ready to do.
Just because your friends are having sex or say they're having sex doesn't mean that you have to as well! you might feel like everyone is doing it but you will soon realize that this is not the case. Your friends may talk about sex in a casual manner. If you have a good group of friends, they should not be pressuring you into doing something that you're not ready to do.
Pressure from magazines, celebrities and peers can all contribute to the pressure that you may feel. On tv, sex is displayed in such a casual way, however you should remember that sex is actually a really big deal! you need to make sure that you're completely confident and comfortable with your decision if you do decide to have sex. Think carefully how you feel yourself about having sex, as this is the first step in handling the peer pressure. It's okay to have fun when you're a teenager, but equally you need to respect yourself enough to say no I'm not ready and your peers should respect that too. When making the decision to have sex, consider whether peer pressure is influencing your decision or if it's something that you have decided that you are ready to do. Once you've had sex for the first time you can't go back, so make sure it's a decision that you won't regret.
Remember that there is no certain age that you are expected to have sex a lot of people wait until they're married! everybody is different and will mature and feel ready at different ages, so just because your friend is doing it and feels ready now, this does not mean that you should feel that way too. Don't ever have sex just to fit in with your friends, as they will respect you more if you stick to your morals and don't do things just because you're pressured to.
If you're worried about peer pressure, know that you're not alone. Hang out with friends who understand you and also believe that it's okay to wait to have sex. If you're going on a first date, go along with friends so it's not just you and your date. This way, if you feel worried that you might be pressured into doing something you don't want to, you won't be alone. Think of what you would say in advance if anyone tries to pressure you in the future, so that you're not caught off guard or feel like you have to do something you don't want to. You are never obliged to have sex with someone, so even if they try to make you feel guilty never do something that you don't want to do, as it's always your decision. Sex is not something that you should rush into, so take your time until you feel 100% ready to take the next step. Respect yourself, your morals and your body and when the time is right to take the next step, you will know.
If you are hiv-positive, good nutrition can have several benefits. It can:
Improve your overall quality of life by providing nutrients your body needs.
Keep your immune system stronger so you can better fight disease.
Help manage hiv symptoms and complications.
Process medications and help manage their side effects.
The basic principles of nutrition and hiv
The basic principles of healthy eating will also serve you well if you are hiv-positive. These principles include:
Eating a diet high in vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and legumes
Choosing lean, low-fat sources of protein
Limiting sweets, soft drinks, and foods with added sugar
Including proteins, carbohydrates, and a little good fat in all meals and snacks
Here is more specific information to get you started with a healthier eating plan.
What happens to our bodies during sex
While most of us are sure that we like to have #sex, most of us also haven't spent much time thinking about what happens physiologically while we are engaged in the act.
When a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in sexually stimulating activities (intercourse, #masturbation, #foreplay, etc.).
The sexual-response cycle is divided into four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm and resolution. There is no distinct beginning or end to each phase -- they're actually all part of a continuous process of sexual response.
Keep in mind that this is a very general outline of what happens to each of us as we become sexually aroused. There is much variation among individuals, as well as between different #sexual events.
Both men and women go through all four phases, except the timing is different. Men typically reach orgasm first during intercourse, while women may take up to 15 minutes to get to the same place. This makes the likelihood of simultaneous orgasm during intercourse a rare event
Phase one: excitement
This phase usually begins within 10 to 30 seconds after erotic stimulation, and can last anywhere from a few minutes to many hours.
Men: the #penis becomes slightly erect. A man's nipples may also become erect.
Women: vaginal lubrication begins. The vagina expands and lengthens. The outer lips, inner lips, clitoris and sometimes breasts begin to swell.
Both: heart rate, blood pressure and breathing are all accelerated.
Phase two: plateau
The changes that started in the excitement phase continue to progress.
Men: the testes are drawn up into the scrotum. The penis becomes fully erect.
Women: the vaginal lips become puffier. The tissues of the walls of the outer third of the vagina swell with blood, and the opening to the #vagina narrows. The #clitoris disappears into its hood. The inner labia (lips) change color (although it's a bit hard to notice). For women who've never had children, the lips turn from pink to bright red. In women who've had children, the color turns from bright red to deep purple.
Both: breathing and pulse rates quicken. A" sex flush" may appear on the stomach, chest, shoulders, neck or face. Muscles tense in the thighs, hips, hands and buttocks, and spasms may begin.
Phase three: orgasm
This is the climax of the cycle. It is also the shortest of the four phases, usually only lasting a few seconds.
Men: first, seminal fluid collects in the urethral bulb. This is when a man may have the sensation that orgasm is certain, or" ejaculatory inevitability" next, semen is ejaculated from the penis. Contractions occur in the penis during the orgasmic phase.
Women: the first third of the vaginal walls contract rhythmically every eight-tenths of a second. (the number and intensity of the contractions vary depending on the individual orgasm.) the muscles of the uterus also contract barely noticeably.
Both: breathing, pulse rate and blood pressure continue to rise. Muscle tension and blood-vessel engorgement reach a peak. Sometimes orgasm comes with a grasping-type muscular reflex of the hands and feet.
Phase four: resolution
This phase is a return to the normal resting state. It can last from a few minutes to a half-hour or longer. This stage is generally longer for women than men.
Men: the #penis returns to its normal flaccid state. There is usually a refractory period, where it's impossible to orgasm again until a certain amount of time has passed. The amount of time varies among men by age, physical fitness and other factors.
Women: the uterus and clitoris return to their normal positions. Some women may be able to respond to additional stimulation with additional orgasms.
Both: swelling recedes, any sex flush disappears, and there is a general relaxation of muscle tension.
Understanding what's happening to you and your partner's bodies during sex can only aid in the full enjoyment of the experience. Combine this with some good communication skills, and you've found the key to unlock sexual pleasure and your heart's desires.
Impotence is embarrassing for a man. It not only affects his self-confidence, but also the relationship with his partner. It is a condition in which a man cannot achieve an erection for having sex. If you are experiencing symptoms of impotence, they are most likely due to physical issues. However, sometimes psychological issues can also be responsible for impotence.
Here are 5 psychological factors, which may be associated with the inability to achieve an erection indicating impotence:
Stress: To a great extent, stress affects a person’s performance in bed. Due to excessive stress and pressure arising from different responsibilities and commitments, he might not be able to focus on sex. Extreme stress due to fear may leave him uneasy, thereby making it difficult for him to have an erection.
Anxiety: After experiencing symptoms of impotency, it is likely that a man may get extremely anxious about the fact that he will not be able to perform well in bed again. This anxiety may also arise from relationship problems, sexual abuse in the past or when a person is in a new relationship. As such, during sex, anxiety may make a man self-conscious, which makes it quite difficult for him to have an erection.
Depression: Feeling depressed or extremely sad because of any kind of issue such as a failed relationship, a poor career or recalling some past trauma may cause erectile dysfunction. Depression makes a person tired , thereby lowering his sex drive. The medicines used for treating depression may also lower libido,as a result of which a man may fail to get an erection.
Low Self-esteem: Having a low or a negative self-esteem may cause performance anxiety. A person is likely to be worried about how he will perform in bed. Low self-esteem may arise from factors related to body image, past experiences and from an underlying feeling of guilt.
Lack of Interest: Many conditions may divert a man’s interest from having sex. The lowering of libido will make it difficult for a man to get an erection and may lead to impotence. Such lack of interest may be on account of relationship issues, certain medications or because of ageing. Anger may also make a person lose interest in having sex.
If your sex life is getting hampered because of any such psychological factors, you must visit a doctor for seeking advice, suggestions and treatment. This will allow you to uncover and resolve the impotence-related problems, thereby letting you enjoy a healthy relationship with your partner in bed.
Your love life is one of the keys to a successful relationship. With passing time, your intimate relationship with your partner may start to fade and seem uninteresting. Thus, it is even more important that you maintain the passionate side of your life, not just to keep your relation healthy, but also to keep yourself stress free and healthy.
Here are 4 tips which can help you can maintain a passionate sex life:
Anorgasmia, also known as Coughlan's syndrome, is a form of dysfunction, which deters your performance in bed. It is defined as the inability of a patient to achieve an orgasm even with adequate stimulation. Anorgasmia may also refer to long delays in achieving an orgasm, causing significant concern or stress to the patient. This condition is more commonly seen in women, especially those in the postmenopausal age group.This is especially common in women.
Cause of Anorgasmia:
Occasionally, anorgasmia results from a combination of these causes
Symptoms of Anorgasmia: The primary symptom of anorgasmia is the failure to climax during sexual intercourse. Some patients may also experience a decreased intensity of orgasms, take a longer time than usual to achieve orgasms, and experience pain in lower abdomen or pelvic region during sexual intercourse. These symptoms can produce marked distress for the individual.
Types of Treatments Available: Anorgasmia is best managed by a sexual therapist. These experts are specialists in managing sexual dysfunction, and would initially confirm the diagnosis with several blood tests. A thorough neurological examination will be performed and hormone levels, blood sugar and genital blood flow will be evaluated.
Anorgasmia can be treated with:
What is Low Sperm Count?
Low sperm count or ‘Oligospermia’ is a condition that indicates that the semen that you discharge after an intimate climax contains fewer sperm cells than normal (the limit being 15 million sperm cells in a milliliter of semen).
How would you know if you have a low sperm count?
What causes a low sperm count?
Vaginismus is a condition characterized by significant pain in the vagina generally during sexual intercourse. This pain occurs on penetration due to the contraction of the vaginal muscles.
The exact cause of Vaginismus is not exactly known to the doctors. But some researchers suggests that the pain might result from severe anxiety or illogical fears before sex.
Vaginismus can be primary or secondary depending on the concerned woman’s previous sexual experiences. Vaginismus can be linked to an earlier sexually painful experience, sexual trauma or psychological factors. In some cases, the pain tends to exist without any direct physical cause. The causes of the pain might vary from women to women and might occur in some cases with only one specific partner and not with others.
Sometimes the pain might stem from underlying infections or any other underlying complications.
The symptoms of Vaginismus are as follows:
Severe pain during intercourse.
Severe pain during insertion of tampons or during any medical check-ups.
The following treatments can be useful to treat Vaginismus:
If the pain arises due to anxiety or fear, counselling sessions can help you to a remedy.
If the pain arises whenever something penetrates the vaginal walls, progressive desensitization can be useful to treat the pain. The process aims to loosen the vaginal muscles so that you don’t experience any pain during sexual intercourse.
Kegel exercises (at least 20 of them) can help in the initial stage to relax the vaginal muscles. After you exercise for a few days, you should try inserting one finger inside your vagina while doing the exercises. Try doing it gently and if it still hurts, try doing it with a lubricating jelly. This continuous procedure will help in the contraction of the vaginal muscles which eventually relax.
Once is good, twice is better, multiple times , oh is even better. You must have heard about the desire to reach the pinnacle of pleasure multiple times. According to Rachel Carlton Abrams, the co-author of the book named 'The Multi Orgasmic Woman', an average woman is inherently able to climax multiple times. Reaching the climax more than once is not something you should be shy about.
Here are a few tips which can help you reach the climax multiple times:
So, if you still thought that reaching climax multiple times was something very difficult, well now you know it isn't. Try the above methods out and you will get to know why.
Pregnancy, especially the first one, is a very anxious phase in a couple's life. There is the knowledge of leaving your previous life and transition to a new one filled with excitement (and copious amount of poop). Every pregnancy is different. Some women are completely turned off by the thought of having sex while others suddenly have their interests spiked. Here are six things you need to know about sex during and after pregnancy
1. You won't hurt the baby: As creative as you get thinking of different positions, it is unlikely that sex will harm your unborn child. Although it is a good sign that your maternal instincts are kicking in, this is a simple open and shut case. While you and your partner get on the act, your baby will rest safely in the amniotic sack well protected with layers of cushion in the form of flesh and fluids. The mucous plug in your cervix that puts a cork on the amniotic fluid ensures things remain stable.
2. You won't bump the baby on the head: As much as your partner would like to believe that his penis is long enough bump into the baby during sex, this is not a possibility. No penis is that big or close to being big enough to get close to the baby. Even if your baby is head down resting in your pelvis, it is unlikely he or she will take a hit during sex.
3. Your baby won't watch your act: You have to have sex to make babies. That is one of the most natural and beautiful realities of our lives. It is true that your baby activity may spike a little when your uterus contracts after an orgasm, so that way the baby will know something exciting happened. But it is not possible for the baby to 'know' or 'remember' what happens on the outside.
4. Sex won't result into an STD transmission to your baby: For one, it is best to stick to your partner who you know is free from STD with or without the baby bump. You'll also feel better knowing that once the baby is inside, your cervix is shut and out of access for anything from semen to other organisms as the mucus plug acts as a super tight cork. But when it comes to STD, it is better you go the safe way for yourself and only proceed if you know your partner is clean for sure.
5. You'll have some extra fun with new manoeuvers: With a baby bump in between, the usual missionary position becomes uncomfortable for many women. Try new and fun ways to keep your partner happy
6. Sex will feel better or worse: Sex will make you feel better or worse depending on how comfortable you are. It is always great to get that loving feeling with your partner, but if you don't want to go all the way, you can start with a hug and end with a kiss too.
In case you have some questions or concerns you must discuss with your doctor.
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