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The discipline of oncosexology has emerged in recent times with the idea of spreading the awareness of sexual issues in oncology care and emphasizes on the importance of approaching these issues to prevent the development of severe sexual dysfunctions or problems. Although the rate of sexual problems in cancer patients is reported to be around 35-50% worldwide, and despite the fact that both cancer care providers and patients recognize the weight of discussing sexual issues, it is unfortunate that neither group are observed to do so.
Impact of Cancer on sexual functioning
It is invariably true for all cancer treatment options that they can potentially affect sexuality in a negative way with their impact, ranging from comparatively clement to extremely enfeebling. The impact on sexuality may arise from a number of biological, psychological and relational consequences of cancer and more than often, a composition of bio-psycho-social factors are involved. While men suffered from erectile dysfunction, retrograde ejaculations and loss of sexual desire, in women, sexual dysfunction is commonly associated with abrupt failure of ovaries and its related menopausal symptoms. Psychologically, the differences in dealing with emotions and feelings of disappointment can cause anxiety, which, in turn, can steer towards sexual distancing.
Steering towards sexual activity during/after treatment
Most patients remain oblivious to the very idea of oncosexology as a result of lack of awareness about possible treatments and its mode of addressal. Maintaining a healthy sexual relationship in such cases requires support and encouragement from healthcare professionals. Oncosexology, therefore, aims at a well rounded integration of sexual rehabilitation in the context of oncology care since sexuality is indeed extremely important in enhancing the quality of life.
Cancer patients can use the following tips for having a better sex life:
1. Sexual activity largely depends upon the energy and comfort level between the partners affected by the disease. Inhibitions are natural and sexual activity needn't involve intercourse or oral sex alone. Foreplay, mutual masturbation and usage of vibrators and lubrications may also ease the pain and discomfort.
2. Partners need to communicate openly about their feelings and what feels good and what doesn't in bed.
3. Using protection is a must. Chemotherapy may persist in the semen 48-72 hours prior to treatment.
4. Explore with different positions in order to find what's best for both you and your partner if the usual ones seem painful.
5. Speak to a sexologist or sex therapist beforehand in order to have a clear picture about the possible consequences of your treatment on your sexuality.
6. Coping with body image concerns may also pose to be another challenge. Exercising and eating well improves health and boosts self esteem.
Sex life can get pretty monotonous and listless after a point of time, especially in a faithful and long marriage. Pent up sexual frustration is never healthy for the longevity of any marriage, and they must be given proper release. Fulfilling sexual fantasies is a good way to spice up your sex life because they help you channel all that you deem sexually attractive and through role playing or through sex toys, you can regain the lost libido.
Here are some of the techniques you can resort to conjure your sexual fantasies :
- Be adventurous
Sex in kitchen or bathroom has proven to be rougher and hence more adventurous than in the bedroom. Travelling to an exotic place and romantic hotels also yield similar results because psychologically it transports you to a different setting.
- Try role playing
Role playing and bondage claim has been proven to help a lot of people get over their lack luster sex lives. This requires you to make an effort and be imaginative while thinking of roles to play that would entice your partner and get you in the mood as well. Dressing up is a common starting point for role playing games. While the submissive-dominant dynamic has statistically been the most effective, don't be afraid to try out new weird stuff. Sexual preferences vary from one person to another.
- Sex toys
Sex toys can take the edge off in the building up of sexual tension. There are an innumerable number of sex toys available in the market for both men and women. Simple blindfolds, handcuffs and feather whips can induce a new spark in your dull sex life.
- Communicate more
Be frank with your partner about your sexual fantasies and encourage him/her to open up about theirs too. During intercourse, be vocal about what you want to be done to you. For example, if you both are foodies, eating off of each other's body can be a huge enhancement factor.
- Try unconventional ways
Reading erotic fiction and even watching erotic films together can also help connect your sexual fantasy with reality. Wearing sexy lingerie or stripping can work for a lot of people too.
Research proves that exercise is a great way to improve sexual function in both men and women. Whether one suffers from sexual problems like erectile dysfunction or may just want to improve their sex life, exercising the sex muscles is effective in both cases.
A particular group of muscles function together and are involved directly in the process. Exercising these muscles will naturally increase the flow of blood to your penis and help improve sexual performance.
Here are ways to exercise which prove to be effective in enhancing your sex life :
1. Exercising the core muscles and supporting muscles
This type of exercise aims at strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. An easy way to locate these muscles is to stop the flow of urine midway or to hold one's bladder when one needs to pee. Keeping the muscles contracted for a period of ten seconds and relaxing them completes one cycle. This exercise helps improve erection and control your orgasm better by strengthening the core muscles.
2. Exercising the supporting muscles
The second exercise involves pushups. Without this exercise, the other muscles might become tired and one may not be able to achieve sexual fulfilment. This exercise tends to improve the strength of one's abs, lower back, shoulder, chest, arms, legs and buttocks. The muscles in the aforementioned body parts are the supporting sex muscles which work together to make the act more fulfilling. A set of 10 or 20 pushups, three times a day is recommended.
3. Exercising to enhance flow of blood to all body parts
Rebounding on a mini trampoline for at least 10 minutes a day can improve one's sexual performance to a great extent. It is important that one engages in the act carefully so as to avoid injury or accidents. This exercise is both fun and easy. It helps to increase the circulation of blood to all areas of the body and helps to strengthen the pelvic, abdominal muscles, hip and leg muscles. This exercise also helps to overcome lethargy.
It is generally assumed that after sexual intercourse, men more often tend to doze off immediately, leaving the women not entirely satisfied, primarily because of less foreplay and after play action. These assumptions are, however, not entirely wrong and there are many ways with which one can prove thus.
Here are a few tips whereby you can reverse this clich and end it with a bang :
- The traditional belief that men are more emotionally detached after intercourse than women are is inherently true in most cases and the best way to prevent your man from snoozing immediately after sex is to hold him tight and snuggle up. Being held feels good and right for both sexes, and is also an effective way of retaining heat.
- A great way of prolonging that physical intimacy after sexual intercourse is by giving your man a smooth massage. Perhaps you can lighten up his senses by slowly tracing circles on his torso or by gradually moving over and around the navel areas confidently and sensuously.
- By way of suggesting a bath or shower after sex, you are, in a way, inviting him and yourself for another possible orgasmic session. After taking turns in scrubbing each other's backs, necks and shoulders, you can proceed with moving along towards other parts of the body. Furthermore, a hot and wet-nude environment eventually supports a post-orgasmic flush.
- Oral sex is yet another invigorating way of sustaining the erotic process. Paying more attention to the area around the anus as well as the area around the clitoris is always an effective method to 'end it with a bang'.
- You could also try paying him compliments or whispering and breathing romance into his ears with stuff like, "I love you", or "I desire you", accompanied by light sexual caresses -as long as it prevents him from snoozing!