MS - Counselling and Psychotherapy, Master of Arts in Psychology, Bachelor of Arts - Psychology and English Literature
Love failure: how to overcome depression due to love failure
True love: love is eternal (losing someone who loved you so much" when someone you love becomes a memory, the memory becomes a treasure"
How to overcome the loss of a loved one (boyfriend/girlfriend)?
Denial: it helps one to survive the loss. The world becomes meaningless and overwhelming, feel like screaming at everyone around us. Life makes no sense. We go numb. We are in a state of shock and denial. You get memories, the joyful and caring moments that you spent with your loved one. The feelings of their presence haunt you, you experience this.
Anger: be willing to feel the anger, you feel the anger towards yourself, your beloved, your mom, dad, towards god, psychologist if you are on treatment, let you feel the anger. It is good to feel the anger. It is an outburst of your emotional pain. The anger is just another indication of the intensity of your love.
Bargaining: you start fighting to god, please god, why did you do this to me, what wrong did I do, you will please god, by saying many things like social work and many more, but you wanna die or want your beloved one back with you. This type of feeling is good. Guilt is often accompanied for the loss and thinking yourself as the cause for such incident to happen.
Depression: it is quite natural to experience depression after the loss. You really feel so empty, so depressed, lose interest, don't care yourself much, do not eat food, the sadness gets occupied in your mind and really miss your loved one.
Live for long: though your grief and pain is so strong, but you need to live; that your mind and heart knows very well, because you need to sacrifice by living for your family (parents who love you so much, who took so much pain to bring you up, want to see you grow happily, want their son/daughter live for long, though you know you have lost your loved one, you need to live for your family (parents who brought you up, because they took so much pain to bring you up sacrificing so many things in life) just for you to live happily, and to see you grow happily, your well wishers who want you to live for long, and your siblings who care for you so much, because they cannot bear the pain without you. Many reasons that make one to live for long without hurting yourself, you need to live for the sake of your beloved ones. All of them want you to live and you have to keep going.
Memories: happier moments, sad moments, memorable moments, unforgettable moments are treasures, which one treasures in their mind and heart like the most precious jewel throughout their life. True love is eternal, even though you get married, having kids, these memories comes and goes, but it will never be as painful as before, you can feel the soothness inside you, tears may come and go from your eyes, though your husband/wife and kids do not know. This is quite natural for all honest human beings. This is the only treasure that is eternal for as long as you live, but it does not mean that you do not love your wife/husband and kids, you always do love them also, care for them.
Acceptance: you have to accept the loss and say yes" okay" and" all right" with what has happened. This stage is about accepting the reality, the stages of life, but eventually we need to accept it for the sake of those who care and are dependent on us. We need to live again, no other go.
Love failure due to betrayal:
There is one famous proverb" if you love something set it free, if it comes to you, it is your's, otherwise it is not your's
Practice forgiveness: you need to forgive yourself for being betrayed by the person whom you loved so much, let go he/she. You should start ignoring them.
Self-worth: instead of blaming yourself for your partner's betrayal, you should start knowing your potentialities, your self-worth, your self-esteem. You need to keep going to free yourself from the blame game, live in the present and move forward.
Permission to heal: you need some time to heal yourself from your partner's betrayal. Don't punish future partners; eventhough your future partner is true, do not punish them, it will spoil your future relationship. If not, keep going and find someone who truly loves you, it is always better to love someone who always loves us truly instead of we searching for someone to love.
Treatment and outcome:
If one is not able to manage to undergo all these stages even after family support, friends, well wishers, or else if they are not able to share then, they can definitely seek a psychologist or a counselor who would provide them certain therapies and counseling so that they can lead life normally without affecting their family, occupation and education.
Psychologist Srividhya. M.