Doctor in Passion Fruit Relationship & Sexual Wellness
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Yes we all desire for that perfect physical gratification that we get from being with our partners and we all look forward to a supercharged physical intimacy. However, what can go wrong with it? Most people will experience some sort of sexual difficulty at some point in their lifetime. Luckily, various healthcare professionals, including sex therapists and counselors, are trained to help people with these issues. Although individual cases vary in their specifics, a few sexual concerns are quite common.
Top Sexual Concerns among Women:
The top two sexual concerns for women are low desire or complete lack of sexual desire. Up to 40 percent of women report that they have little or no desire to have sex.
- Low Desire or Lack of Sexual Desire: Low desire or lack of desire is an increasing trend among women (and some men). Lack of desire is often accompanied by discussions about lack of time or energy for sex.
- Body Image Issues: Not liking what you see in the mirror can make the thought of being naked in front of someone else unpleasant.
- Aging and Hormonal changes: Changes associated with menopause may conspire to reduce a woman's interest in sex. Hot flashes, night sweats and weight gain can be some of the causes.
- Relationship Conflicts: Conflict with one's partner over everyday issues, from money concerns to childbearing, can reduce feelings of desire.
- Unskilled Sexual Partners: People who are experiencing unsatisfactory sex often lose desire. The more bad sex you have, the less you want (conversely, the more good sex you have, the more you want).
- Medical Conditions: Certain medical conditions may affect sexual desire. One of the symptoms of depression, for example, is a lack of interest in sex.
What You Can Do?
First, you should work with your physician to rule out any physical reasons for low desire. Next, it is important to understand how your body responds to touch. Make time for self-pleasuring (masturbation) and explore your capacity to experience pleasure.
In case you have a concern or query you can always consult an expert & get answers to your questions!
Sugar is an important source of calories in the body as it can provide immediate energy to the body after consumption. Sugar being a simple carbohydrate is digested quickly and released into the bloodstream to be used as energy. However, too much sugar in the bloodstream at once can cause a host of disorders in the body including affecting one's sex life. Outlined below are the ways how sugar adversely affects sex life-
1. Impairs the gene that regulates sex hormones - Glucose and fructose are synthesized in the liver, where the excess is converted into fat. When fat synthesis rate goes up in the body, it affects SHBG (sex hormone binding globulin) gene in the body. This gene is responsible for regulating the levels of testosterone and estrogen in the body. Hence, in this case, the affected person becomes highly susceptible to infertility.
2. Lowers testosterone levels - Indulging in a diet that consists of too much sugar affects insulin resistance. Due to this, testosterone levels drop in both men and women. This causes disorders related to sexual function such as erectile dysfunction and also reduces sex drive.
3. Fatigue and reduced energy levels - Foods high in sugar cause temporary spikes in blood sugar which in turn results in fatigue, thus reducing sex drive. It also decreases levels of Orexin, a neurotransmitter that regulates feelings of arousal in the body, causing fatigue and lethargy.
4. Increases stress - Increased stress levels as a result of sugar consumption occur when high insulin levels cause the body to produce cortisol, a stress hormone. Too much cortisol in the body decreases libido. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Love making is an act that is supposed to leave you satisfied and happy, but sometimes that’s not the case. This can be due pain or discomfort, stress or low confidence levels. However, by adopting a few simple ways you can enjoy a healthier and a much more satisfying love-making session.
1. Talk between the sheets: This is very important. Your partner wouldn’t know what you’re in the mood of until and unless you tell them. Nobody can read minds. Know each other erogenous zones to know what turns your partner on. When your partner does something you like, or does something you don’t like, you should let them know in order to derive maximum pleasure during sex.
2. Make use of the correct lubricant: This is applicable for women: just as wetness is a part of sex, so is dryness no matter if you’re in the mood or not. Women hardly ever get the 20 minutes of foreplay they need to be properly lubricated before sex. Sometimes factors like childbirth, breastfeeding or menopause can aggravate this situation. So in such cases it is best to use a liquid lubricant that doesn’t cause allergy to you and your partner, and can make sex a smooth and pleasurable activity. Avoid baby oil or body lotions if you’re using a latex condom.
4. Explore different things together: A shift in position or a new sex activity can make sex highly enjoyable and exciting, adding that zing that was missing in your sex life. Indulge in role playing, sex toys or even light bondage if you like to spice things up in the bed. Also, keep shifting left, right, up and down in the same sex position to heighten pleasure.
5. Get enough sleep: Getting your fix of 8 hours of sleep is very important for a healthy love making session. Lack of sleep can leave you tired and not in the mood of any sort of sexual activity. It can even lower libido in men and in extreme cases it can lead to sexual dysfunction as well. So rest well to enjoy your private time with your partner. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Foreplay refers to the preliminary acts preceding the sexual intercourse. Foreplay isn’t given much importance although it is the crucial part of the entire sexual experience.
Why is it important?
Biological Perspective: From the biological perspective, it is extremely important, especially for a woman to indulge in foreplay. Foreplay enhances the arousal, thus causing the erection of the clitoris. The clitoris functions similar to that of the penis. The rushing of blood to the clitoris leads to its erection which is necessary to achieve an orgasm. Foreplay also elicits vaginal wetness which makes the proceeding penetrative sex easier and painless for both, the man and the woman. The lack of vaginal wetness causes the sexual intercourse to be rather painful and sometimes involve some amount of bleeding. Contrary to the popular myth, foreplay is equally important for both the sexes. According to research, men and women both reported of achieving better orgasms when there was a greater build-up of sexual arousal.
Psychological Perspective: From the psychological perspective, foreplay instills the feeling of security and causes less vulnerability. The lack of foreplay apparently gives a sense of being neglected and denies the emotional assurance needed by most. Research shows foreplay enhances the relationship of the couple outside the bedroom. Foreplay is essentially important in long term relationships as it helps in enhancing the feelings of togetherness. Foreplay is also important in letting the partner feel they have your attention and care. It is essential in instilling psychological security and emotional wellness.
Also, it is necessary to achieve mutual pleasure from the sexual act and hence, attention must be given to the need of both the partners for a fulfilling experience. Foreplay is important in achieving orgasm, especially for women who do not necessarily achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex. With everything said and done, there is nothing wrong with an occasional skipping of the foreplay if that is what both the partners want. It is important to see what each partner is getting out of the entire sexual experience and work according to it.
Tips to have a great foreplay-
- Aim for the area around the lips: People mostly focus on the plump part of the lips, ignoring a sensual, arousing sweet spot which borders the lips. Your lips and its periphery contain several blood vessels. Slowly brushing through that area will give you a tingling, almost ticklish sensation that will run through your spine.
- The little triangle: The entire neck region is a highly erogenous spot. This includes the ears and the spot behind it, the neck and the shoulders. However, the junction where the collarbone meets your neck, the little triangle, has a thinner skin enveloping it. Linger around the spot a little longer maybe, before running down to the more obvious erogenous regions.
- Trail the thighs: The area around your thighs is home to one of the most explosive nerves that can simply make your breath go into hyper-drive. Start with supple, soft kisses around your thighs, with stray light strokes. This excites your genital area more because the nerves on the thighs directly lead to the genitals. This move will probably have your partner asking for more.
- Talk dirty: This act can have your partner flying off the handles if done right. You may want to test the temperature first in order to know what degree of talks does your partner like. Whether he is into low-key dirty talks or full-blown adjectives. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Men and women look differently, act differently, dress differently and even communicate in dissimilar ways. Therefore, it is no surprise that their reaction to sex should be different. While men's minds and genitals are usually in alignment, women are less likely to have a link between their mind and genital area. This is because of one of the most complex creations of nature is the human brain, and there are subtle differences in its reactions to different things for both men and women.
How different are the reactions of both the genders to sex?
A study carried out by a psychology professor at queen's university, Meredith chiversk, revealed that while in men the mind and body seem to be in tune with each other, a woman's mind and genitals sometimes respond oppositely to sexual arousal.
What is the reason for this difference in responding?
Firstly, in the case of women, oxytocin (also known as intimacy/cuddle hormone) is released during sex and this hormone encourages bonding and empathy, which leads to an increased feeling of bonding and intimacy. In the case of men the brain releases more of a hormone, which can make them susceptible to sex addiction. When a man has an orgasm, the main hormone which is released is dopamine (pleasure hormone) and this surge can be addictive.
Men's arousal pattern has repeatedly emphasized their sensitivity to visual stimuli. As soon as the lust-inspiring image registers in their brain, they become turned on, not only physically but also psychologically. Exposure to such erotic stimuli immediately activates that part of their brain that is related to getting an erection. Women, on the other hand, react differently to different stimuli, with their responses varying from emotional to sexual or a mix of both.
The study made use of a total of 134 previous studies of which approximately 1,900 men and 2,500 women were a part to come to this conclusion. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
Also known as sexual climax, orgasm is the sudden ejection of stored sexual excitement during the process of having sex. It involves the rhythmic flexing of the muscles near the pelvic area resulting in an immensely pleasurable experience. Considered an involuntary action, it is experienced by both men and women, though they occur due to different circumstances.
While the sexual stimulation of the penis is responsible for orgasm in males, it is the stimulation of the clitoris that causes the same in women. In both the sexes the body undergoes certain changes during orgasm.
Few of them are:
Effect on genitals: Though orgasm results in a pleasurable experience in both men and women, their genitals do not react in a similar way. Women experience a heady rush as the blood flow to the clitoris and vagina. Subsequently, the vagina secretes lubricants and increases in size. On the other hand, men experience a feeling of contraction and throbbing in their penis and prostate region. Despite the differences, the genitals in the cases release powerful sexual energy during orgasm.
Increase in blood rate and rapid breathing: This condition is common to both men and women. Due to the dilation of the blood vessels, both the sex experience an increase in heart rate, contraction of muscles and rapid breathing during orgasm.
Release of hormones: During orgasm, there is an excessive discharge of oxytocin in both men and women. When this hormone floods the brain, it creates feelings of intimacy and a sense of warm bond. However, in males another hormone called testosterone is released which operates as a counter to the effects of oxytocin.
Effects on brain during orgasm: The brain of men and women operate differently. The periaqueductal gray also known as PAG, an area responsible to control fights, is activated in women. At the same time, women also experience a sudden decrease in apprehension and fear. However, the same does not happen in the case of men.
Stimulation of nerve endings: During orgasm, millions of nerve endings on the penis, vaginal opening, testes and clitoris are triggered and stimulated. This consequently produces the feeling of an arousal. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
Infertility is a bigger issue than it was a couple of decades ago, and it is only going to get worse. The decreasing sperm count and quality are the main contributors for infertility. This has happened due to the changing lifestyle with lack of physical activity, increased stress, relationship issues, a greater amount of pollutants, and digital exposure. These are some of the common issues, and each couple presents a unique case.
There is, however, good news in that there are simple, effective ways to improve sperm count and density, which in turn can help cure infertility.
- Smoking: Nicotine harms the body in multiple ways and lowering sperm count is one of the significant ones. For most men going to infertility clinics, stopping smoking is one of the first prescribed remedies. It helps sex drive, boosts sperm count, improves performance, and leaves the couple happy.
Reduce Chemical Exposure: There are plastics all around us. These plastics contain BPA and phthalates which have been shown to reduce sperm count. Plastics have entered all areas of life in the last 40 to 50 years, and it is during the same time that sperm count has reduced by (hold your breath) 50%!!!
Reduce Plastic Use: Reduce plastic use in all forms – from sex toys to plastic food storage to water containers. Chemicals also need to be reduced in terms of eating foods where pesticides would be used. Another source of chemicals is the shampoos, soaps, deodorants, cosmetics, and other toiletries. Try organic products as much as possible. These have an adverse effect on the sperm count.
Water: Avoid chlorine exposure – be it in tap water, bleach or other products. Hydrogen peroxide is a safer option.
- Diet: Reduce caffeine intake. Avoid grilled foods. Increase fresh fruits and vegetable intake. Eat whole grains. Avoid canned and packaged foods. Avoid processed and half-cooked foods. Reduce refined carbohydrates. If required, talk to a doctor and get vitamin C and zinc supplements. These are essential for the formation of testosterone hormone and can play a role in improving sperm count.
Exercise: A regular exercise of about 30 minutes daily is highly beneficial in improving overall circulation and increasing sperm count. A word of caution, though – over-exercise can lead to reduced sperm counts and infertility in males.
Stress Management: Another major reason for infertility, reduced sex drive, reduced sperm count, and poor sexual performance is stress. Be it exercise or music, meditation or cooking, identify what works to keep you calm and do it.
Check your Medical Kit: There could be some medicines which may be helping you curing one disease but could be leading to infertility. Talk to a doctor and if there is a culprit, switch to a safer drug.
Research proves that exercise is a great way to improve sexual function in both men and women. Whether one suffers from sexual problems like erectile dysfunction or may just want to improve their sex life, exercising the sex muscles is effective in both cases. A particular group of muscles function together and are involved directly in the process. Exercising these muscles will naturally increase the flow of blood to your penis and help improve sexual performance.
Here are ways to exercise which prove to be effective in enhancing your sex life:
1. Exercising the core muscles
This type of exercise aims at strengthening your pelvic floor muscles. An easy way to locate these muscles is to stop the flow of urine midway or to hold one's bladder when one needs to pee. Keeping the muscles contracted for a period of ten seconds and relaxing them completes one cycle. This exercise helps improve erection and control your orgasm better by strengthening the core muscles.
2. Exercising the supporting muscles
The second exercise involves pushups. Without this exercise, the other muscles might become tired and one may not be able to achieve sexual fulfilment. This exercise tends to improve the strength of one's abs, lower back, shoulder, chest, arms, legs and buttocks. The muscles in the aforementioned body parts are the supporting sex muscles which work together to make the act more fulfilling. A set of 10 or 20 pushups, three times a day is recommended.
3. Exercising to enhance flow of blood to all body parts
Rebounding on a mini trampoline for at least 10 minutes a day can improve one's sexual performance to a great extent. It is important that one engages in the act carefully so as to avoid injury or accidents. This exercise is both fun and easy. It helps to increase the circulation of blood to all areas of the body and helps to strengthen the pelvic, abdominal muscles, hip and leg muscles. This exercise also helps to overcome lethargy. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist and ask a free question.
Sir/madam I feel uncomfortable while I am in front of a lot of people. Especially when attending functions etc. I prefer not to go for such functions and I can't (or I don't want to socialise with people). I prefer staying at my home rather than any other place. I feel a lot of mental stress while I think I am being noticed by people. Its like a lot of tension is developing in me. Can you tell what is my exact problem?
Your lifestyle habits can affect the size and growth of your male member, leading to anxiety problems and negative body image issues. Starting from the contraceptive pill in the 60s to modern cosmetic surgeries, man fabricated immense changes to our natural course of copulation. Cosmetic surgeries such as breast enlargement surgeries, liposuction and surgeries pertaining to the genitals are getting increasingly popular. Yet, the availability of such procedures have led to a plethora of myths.
The following are some of those:
Myth 1: Supplements, pills and creams will help: If the commercials on television have made you consider using supplements, pills or any other such ways to increase the girth of your penis, then think again. These remedies or medicines don't work and it is possibly a scheme to strip you off your hard earned money.
Myth 2: Lengthening with weights is a good idea: Contrary to popular belief, stretching your penis with weights won't help. Yet, it is somewhat possible to stretch your penis by hanging weights off it, but that would require a scary amount of dedication. Strapping weights off your penis for more than eight hours a day for seven long months may perhaps increase the length of your penis. But that is not medically proven or advised. In fact, there is high risk of injuring your penis.
Myth 3: Using vacuum pumps can make it happen: Vacuum pumps are cylinders that suck out air. The penis is put in it and the pump draws extra blood into it, making it erect and slightly bigger. After that, the penis is clamped with a tight, ring which prevents the blood to flow back. The only catch though is that the erection lasts as long as the ring is on. And using it in excess of 20 minutes, can lead to tissue damage. Having said all this, one may opt for penile surgery, keeping in mind various side effects. The reality is that 2 to 3 inches of penile length is sufficient to physically satisfy your partner.
Sex has nothing to do with size. It is just how you handle your partner, which actually is more important.