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While siblings are the force that breathes life into any family structure, it has also been seen as a challenge of sorts to manage siblings and bring out the best in each one of them. In any family unit, there are a number of entities who need to be nurtured in a certain way to ensure that their identities are not hampered by a "one size fits all" style of parenting. Every child is different and will need to be handled differently. Besides this, there are other related challenges that will contribute to the quality of the relationships between the siblings, as well as the rivalry that they may feel towards each other when it comes to attention, achievements and varied other factors.
Read on to know the ten tips to tackle sibling rivalry:
- Make friends before birth - Encourage your first born to connect even before the birth of the new baby by including him or her in the changes you see and feel. Planning for the new baby with your first born will also help in such cases.
- Staying positive is a big factor that will help the children in feeling confident despite their different qualities and strengths.
- Comparison is a big no no - Stay away from these kind of comparisons so that the children do not feel like they have to fight with each other for your praise.
- Time sharing - Ensure that you divide your time well and indulge each child in his or her area of interest so that they feel like you are always there for each of them.
- Harmonious start to the day - This will ensure that the children have a special bond at the end of the day. Make sure that they help each other and divide chores accordingly. The older siblings should be given the care giving tasks while the younger ones should be taught to obey them and play along.
- Humour them - It is a known fact that humour is the best medicine that breaks even the most tension filled atmosphere.
- Family meetings - Hold family meetings to discuss important things and even intense fights so that everyone's needs and issues are addressed.
- Empathy - Teaching your child to empathize with others will help him or her steer clear of needless rivalry at home too.
- Ignore the small - Let them figure out the smaller fights, yet always be there to address the bigger issues so that they know you are there for them.
- Equal treatment - Treating them equally does not mean doing the same thing for each of them. It means giving them equal time and attention with personalized treatment to suit varied temperaments. This will also give them a lot of individual confidence which eventually kills any feelings of rivalry. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychologist.
Are you suffering from extreme depression? Does your depression episode continues for a long time and makes you feel too tired to get out of bed? Chronic depression is capable of turning your life upside down, causing turmoil with all your activities, thereby, spoiling your regular life totally. At times, a person can get so drained by depression that getting out of bed seems impossible because of fatigue. It is quite difficult to deal with such situations.
Here are some important tips on how to overcome your chronic depression and get out of bed.
- Be depressed upright: It is likely to be driven by the voices in your head during your depression. You should respond by replying to the voices that you are depressed, but you are going to be depressed outside. This is important, as activity and depression do not go well together. You should try to stop your thinking totally and put yourself in an automatic mode. Preparing to deal with thoughts from before is beneficial. When your body is in motion, it is easier to deal with the thoughts.
- Try to make it to the shower: When you do not feel like leaving your bed at all, you should try making it to the shower somehow. Taking a shower makes you a bit relaxed and diverted and you can expect relief from your depressive episode. This is an effective way to get yourself up and running from bed, instead of isolating yourself under the blanket. Taking a shower might bring you some hope and encourage you to step out of bed and do something productive. Even if you decided to be in bed all day strictly, a refreshing shower is likely to change your mind.
- Bribe yourself: You can try bribing yourself as a reason for getting out of bed. You can remind yourself how good you will feel after having a cup of hot coffee, or how nice it would feel to listen to a certain song while going to work.
It is important to give yourself a purpose or reason to get out of bed. Many people believe that they might feel like leaving the bed in spite of being heavily depressed, if they had a worthy purpose. It is very important for you to get involved in something. You might hate a job, or hate working, but it will give you a reason to divert from your depressive thoughts.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is defined as a mood disorder that affects one's interaction and relationships with others. It generally develops during adolescence and persists into adulthood. It has been seen that those with a traumatic history of neglect or emotional, physical or sexual abuse are more prone to developing it. Though it affects people varyingly, these are some symptoms that help diagnose BPD.
1. Emotional instability - Intense feelings of rage, sorrow, anger, guilt and emptiness or loneliness are experienced by some sufferers of BPD. Extreme mood swings, lasting for a short span of time, are common in BPD. They may also have issues with their self-image where they cannot place themselves and don't know what they feel about themselves or who they are.
2. Disturbing thoughts - One may experience disturbed thinking and the range of severity is rather wide. One may question his or her existence and need constant reassurance to believe other, or hear voices that tell one to harm oneself or others. In some cases, hallucination and developing delusional beliefs become a common phenomenon that greatly upset the mental condition of the sufferer.
3. Impulsive behavior - Indulging in impulsive behavior is a common sign of BPD. Those suffering from BPD may develop suicidal tendencies and threaten to self-harm. Partaking in risky and irresponsible behavior such as gambling, drinking, drug abuse, having unprotected sex with strangers, going on unrestrained shopping sprees and shoplifting are not uncommon for those with BPD.
4. Intense but unstable relationships - Sufferers of BPD live in a fear of abandonment and feel that the people they love might leave them. They make all possible efforts to prevent being left alone. They may beg, cling and track their loved ones to avoid being left alone. The opposite may also occur and sufferers might feel that they are being smothered by others. This results in actively pushing away loved ones. A combination of these feelings leads sufferers to give out mixed signals which is confusing and often hurts them and their loved ones. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a psychiatrist.
In some cases, frustration can tend to be positive and can give you another perspective or view on things. It can also give you the ability to continue going further until you achieve your objective. However, there are times when you are going in circles and the dissatisfaction makes you frustrated and this frustration can cloud your mind and judgment. To avoid that from happening, there are certain approaches that will help you overcome your frustration:
- Be present in the moment: When you are frustrated, you tend to think about a lot of things. This keeps the individual completely occupied with different kinds of thoughts. Even if you try to avoid it or distract yourself, you again start to remember a disappointment from your past. You need to snap out of those thoughts and calm yourself down by centring your brain and thoughts on what is presently going on around you. You can do so in the following ways:
- Concentrate on relaxing: Take a seat, close your eyes and simply concentrate on the live events and concentrate on them for one to two minutes. Take quiet and marginally deeper breaths than regular and inhale with your stomach and not the chest. Concentrate on what is around you as of now. The sun sparkling in through your window, the children playing out on the road, the vehicles or the individuals passing by. Take in the details.
- Try to be happy with what you have right now: After you have pulled your concentration and thoughts back to where they can be most useful, focus on what is still positive in your life. The easiest and least demanding approach to do so is to centre it on acknowledging what you do have in your life right now. The most unimportant of things at this point can prove to be the most beneficial. For example:
- A warm home and a rooftop over your head.
- Water to drink.
- Getting to eat great food.
- Access to the internet and other forms of technology that make life easy.
- Your loved ones.
- Focus on what you can do at this moment: With the amount of frustration and anger you might be feeling, it is important for you to concentrate on what you can do at the moment i.e. at present. It might involve figuring out what has been the cause for your frustration and how it can be dealt with right now or what the alternatives for it are.
Then again, you could also take your time to understand that you may have taken a lot of pressure or things have been extreme. Hence, you have to take some time or a couple of days to simply unwind, deal with yourself and maybe calm down a bit. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a doctor and ask a free question.