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Losing your virginity can be a big experience and can be exciting as well as nerve-wrecking at the same time. Its significance is different for everyone and there are no wrong or right ways to lose your virginity. Making your first time a memorable experience is easy if you know and remember these 4 things:
1. Relax - You might be conscious about your body or nervous about pain or pleasing your partner, but you need not be. It is natural to feel insecure and nervous, but communicating your reservations with your partner will clear the air between both of you, helping you level your expectations and relax. Your first time is about exploring each other's body and pleasuring each other as well as an understanding partner will help you relax and forget your insecurities.
2. It might hurt a bit - If you are a woman, intercourse for the first time might hurt a bit if your vagina is not well lubricated before you have sex. Also, you might feel some pain and/or bleed if your hymen tears, but it will not be excruciating pain. Worrying about the pain is a lot scarier than the actual pain. Some women may not experience any pain at all. However, you should make sure you are well lubricated. Foreplay is a great way to get ready for intercourse and if it is still painful you could use additional lubricants to minimize discomfort and pain.
3. Go slow - If you are a man, help your partner be comfortable by going slow in accordance to their wish. Going too fast may hurt your partner if they are not comfortable and make your first time a traumatic experience. Try to gauge your partner's reactions and proceed in a way pleasurable to both of you. Penetrating too soon might cause you to ejaculate too quickly before your partner has climaxed. Indulge in foreplay so that both of you are ready. If your partner ejaculates too fast or is unable to hold his erection, do not feel rejected or angry, support him and help him get aroused again, as it is just an effect of nervousness and excitement.
4. Use protection - There is no truth in the saying that you cannot get an STD on your first time. It is completely possible and the only way to prevent that is to use condoms or not have penetrative sex. Women can get pregnant during unprotected sex and unless you plan to become pregnant, panicking about being pregnant for days after your first time will ruin your first time and peace of mind. Use birth control pills and/or condoms to prevent unwanted pregnancy after your first time, and both your partner and you will be able to enjoy losing your virginity without any worries. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a Sexologist.
Sex is an extremely personal and subjective matter. Different individuals relate to and indulge in sex differently. The idea of sex also varies from person to person and may not always fit the stereotypical penile-vaginal penetrative intercourse.
There is no way of determining exactly how much sex is good and how much of it is too much. Some people like to be sexually active with thorough regularity while others find comfort in abstinence. Age also plays an important role here with people between the ages of 18-29 indulging in higher levels of sexual activity than those who are middle-aged or elderly.
The different levels and frequencies of sexual activity have varying degrees of impacts on the overall mental, physical and sexual health of a person. There are numerous health benefits attached to having an active sex life, which manifests themselves in both the body and the mind.
The health benefits of having sex are -
As per studies conducted, it has been shown that having sex, at least, two times a week can boost overall physical and mental health. The many health benefits of being sexually active are as follows:
- It improves immunity and makes the body more resilient to diseases
- It improves bladder control in women and prevents urinary incontinence
- It prevents erectile dysfunction in men
- It improves blood circulation and lowers blood pressure
- It acts as a stress reliever
- It improves functioning of the heart and lowers the risk of heart disease
- It reduces sensitivity to pain
There are several other benefits of sex, which include the effective healing and nurturing of the body in a holistic manner.
Is there a limit to having sex?
A large number of people all around the world are concerned about their carnal compulsions and frequently approach sex therapists about what frequency of sex constitutes as a 'healthy' dose.
There really is no such thing as too much sex. But if overindulgence in sexual activities causes a disturbance in everyday activities such as work, classes, household responsibilities and other obligations, it becomes a problem. If such a situation arises, it might be signs of a sex addiction in which case it is important to consult a sexologist or sex therapist. Ideally, having sex two times a day is good for your body, mind and soul.
With an upsurge in the technology, it has touched almost all aspects of our lives including our relationships. Today, technology has changed the way we interact with each other, no doubt it also helps us by removing the geographical boundries and help us stay close to our loved ones, at least virtually if not physically. One such act of virtual closeness is sexting.
What is sexting?
Sexting is a mix of ‘sex’ and ‘texting’, that is when you are sending and receiving texts, images and videos, which are explicit in nature. This may include the following:
- Nude pictures
- Sexual pictures
- Explicit texts and images
Sexting can be exchanged if you share the following kinds of relationship:
- Between two partners in love with each other
- Between partners who are not in relationship
- Between two person where one of them hopes to be in a relationship
What are the reasons for stexting?
There are various reasons why you might want to sext. Such as:
- Anxiety about being portrayed as a shy, rigid and not sexy person
- A constant feeling to showcase one’s sexuality
- Wanting someone’s acceptance
- Being in a romantic and faithful relationship
- Being in a long distance relationship and wanting to have sexual relationship
- Pride in one’s body and wanting to show it off
Why sexting is good for you?
Most of us has done or have had the thought of sending kinky dirty texts or images to his/her partner. These steamy texts and images have proved to improve relationship and increase sexual satisfaction. Now over 80% people are of the opinion that one of the ways to bring about a spark in a relationship is through sexting. While other ways might be scarier, sexting is a much safer way to get indulged for some sexual pleasure if the contents are not shared on social media sites and kept only with the significant other. However, trust is essential while sexting. You obviously do not want to get engaged in sexting with a person you have talked or met once or twice where there is hardly any element of trust. Generally, if two people are sexting with each other, it is implied they share a particular amount of trust.
What are the risks involved in sexting?
While sexting is a good idea to spice things up, it can also be dangerous and can pose some serious consequences. Once the images, texts or videos get into wrong hands, it can take a serious toll on your health, mentally and physically. Few people might only engage in it for bullying others. Sexting can collide with reputation of a person and not just socially, but digitally as well. Sexting can also lead you behind the bars so extreme caution is recommended. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
It is to be noted that a large chunk of a child’s genetic code is carried by the male procreation cell. Some other interesting facts about the male procreation cell, the sperm, are listed below:
- Diet affects a man’s sperms: A man’s daily diet plays a major role in the health of his sperm. The choice of food has a big impact on sperm. For example, a publication in The Journal of Biology and Reproduction, 2011, has shown that DHA (an Omega-3 essential fatty acid found in cod liver oil and salmon) aids in improving the morphology of the sperm. Increase in DHA levels can turn a sperm with a round head into a healthy sperm with a cone-shaped head and fill it with important enzymes that aid in egg-opening. Increase in levels of DHA also helps in improving sperm mobility. Another study has shown that men who consume an excess of 3 cups of coffee per day exhibit a reduction in concentration of the sperms as well as total sperm count along with poor quality of the sperm.
- Health of sperm can be improved by climaxing regularly: Production of semen is reduced due to irregular ejaculation or abstinence from sex.
- Wireless Technology is capable of damaging sperm: Recent studies have shown that laptops using Wi-Fi to connect to the internet damages sperm via non-thermal effects. Hence, scientists suggest that men should try to avoid keeping laptops on their laps directly and should keep their cell phones in places other than the pant pockets.
- Extra energy for penetrating the egg: The journey of a sperm is long and vigorous; an incredible amount of energy is needed to penetrate the ova. Naturally, there is a dearth of energy when the sperm finally reaches the ova. At this time, a stream of energy is provided because of a burst of progesterone from the female. This energizes the sperm, which in turn, helps in penetration of the egg.
- Protection: The immune system assumes that sperms are foreign invaders because they carry only half the DNA as compared to other cells. Hence, there are special protective cells present in the testicles that create a barrier which tends to attack the sperm cells.
- Life span: The publication of a study in Biology of Reproduction (1984) has stated that sperm cells, in appropriate conditions, have a life span of up to 5 days within a woman’s body.
- Negative impact of lifestyle choices on sperms: A number of studies have shown that men having habits such as smoking cigarettes, drinking alcohol, consuming caffeine and who are obese have hampered fertility. This has a negative effect on the health of a sperm. Men who frequently consume alcohol tend to exhibit poor sperm concentration and lowered sperm mobility. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a doctor.
Although it is still a matter of debate within medical circles, recorded instances of symptoms in middle aged men that resemble the symptoms of female menopause are not at all unnatural and not uncommon either. Commonly referred to as male menopause, this condition alludes to the reduced testosterone level of the male body. However, this condition significantly differs from female menopause in the very fact that not every middle aged man will go through this phase or be afflicted by this condition.
What is the cause behind it?
The causes of male menopause are as follows:
- Drop in testosterone levels: The hormone testosterone produced in the testes not only regulates the sexual drive in a man, but also ushers in puberty as a boy gradually becomes a man. Testosterone secretion helps in the development of body hair, regulation of physical and emotional energy, the change in your voice and the muscular mass of the body. The reduction of testosterone occurs gradually in the male body as you reach the age of 30 and by the age of 40-45, the testosterone level falls significantly. It can drop even further after 50 which may lead to male menopause, also termed as andropause.
- Underlying physical or psychological conditions: As a man gets older, other physiological factors that may afflict his body could be hypertension, diabetes, sleep apnea and many others. These could also end up reducing the testosterone levels within the body resulting in male menopause. Depression, anxiety and even mental disorders have been attributed to triggering this condition.
What are its signs
The symptoms of male menopause typically occur at the same age as when a female approaches menopause. The symptoms are as follows:
- Decreased sex drive.
- Lack of concentration and enthusiasm in general.
- Depression and a reduced sense of self-belief.
- Infertility and problems with erection.
- Significant loss in muscular mass and body hair.
- Sudden growth of breasts and decrease in bone density.
- Body fat suddenly increases.
- Prolonged sensation of fatigue.
Getting to be intimate with someone is a great feeling as you can get to enjoy and explore each other’s bodies, mind and spirit. However it is also important that you avoid getting infected by sexually transmitted diseases. Although you are probably aware of how to protect yourself in general circumstances, you could be mistakes in the heat of the moment and fail or forget to use adequate protection. Always be safe, never sorry.
The following tips will help you stay safe, each time you have sex and should never be forgotten:
- Single partner and regular testing: The safest way to have sex is have a single partner and to ensure that neither of you have any form of STI (sexually transmitted infections). If you have been with multiple partners before then get yourself tested for STIs and STDs (sexually transmitted diseases).
- Bring your own condom (BYOC): Never rely on the partner to have dams, condoms or lube. It is highly recommended that you have your own supply and the expiration dates should be checked before usage.
- Contraception: In addition to condoms, other forms of contraceptives like cervical caps and contraceptive pills must be utilized to prevent unwanted pregnancy. One should also consider using female condoms.
- Lubrication: Even though friction during sex can help in elevating pleasure levels, it also increases the risks of infection. In order to prevent friction, try to use a lubricants during sex. Oil-based lube should not be used on a latex condom as it may cause breaks within. Water and Silicon based lubricants are better options
- Set personal boundaries: Having personal rules and boundaries around safe sex can be helpful in setting a standard for behaviour. Writing down what one personally approves of and doesn’t is helpful in setting proper boundaries around the concept of safe-sex. In case of a history of sexual abuse, it is important to contact a therapist or somebody close and opening up to them so they can initiate the process of recovering from it.
- Drink responsibly: It is important to consider the limit of alcohol and the people one chooses to drink with. It is also necessary to understand the concept of consent. You should not be or allowed to be pressurized into having sex.
It is important to understand the importance of safe sex and being able to speak up about sex without feeling any shame. Furthermore, it is important to understand your responsibilities in initiating safe sex and it is okay to find it difficult in the beginning. We have cultural stigmatization around sex and it is okay to be uncomfortable in the beginning, but it is equally important to develop the confidence to talk about sexual practices and safe-sex without guilt, shame or the fear of judgement.
Physical intimacy is a very important part of our lives and defines how we relate to others and see ourselves. It is the attraction one feels towards a particular gender or group of people not just romantically, but emotionally and sexually. There is an increase in the number of people in today's world who identify themselves as bisexuals. Bisexuality is the romantic and sexual attraction or behavior towards people of any sex or gender i.e. both males and females. There are many factors that affect the sexual orientation of a person including environmental, hormonal, emotional and biological factors. Bisexuality is not a disorder that needs to be treated, nor are bisexuals psychologically disturbed.
One very misleading myth is that bisexuality is just a phase and after experimentation (usually during college years) you settle for your true identity as either a homosexual i.e. attracted towards the same sex or heterosexual i.e. attracted towards the opposite sex. Bisexuality is not a transitional period. Most bisexuals may act on their desires and choose to be with one particular sex. However, it doesn't mean that bisexuals are not attracted towards the other sex. This does not mean that they are any less faithful towards their partners than other sexual orientations such as heterosexuals, homosexuals, pansexuals etc.
Several surveys later, it has been concluded that women are more likely to identify themselves as bisexuals than males. This is because women have greater erotic plasticity as compared to men. Bisexuals are often prejudiced against and are stereotyped as highly promiscuous and sexually confused. There is also a social stigma attached to the concept of bisexuality. This is nothing more than an unfair social bias. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a sexologist.
Night fall or wet dreams is a very common occurrence in men, especially in adolescents. This condition is characterized by involuntary ejaculation of semen while sleeping at night or in the early hours of the morning. The problem can sometimes become frustrating for young men because they fail to understand the reason for it and cannot discuss it with their parents or peers out of shame. The frequency of these nocturnal ejaculations may vary from person to person. Some people only experience it in their adolescent years and some people experience it throughout their lives. Frequent night falls can cause laziness, lesser sensation in the genital regions, burning sensation after urination and low libido.
What are the causes?
Night fall is common at a young age when a man abstains from sex. But if they persist and become more frequent, they can create adverse effects upon the body. The major causes are stated below
1. Weak nerves, congested prostate gland and inability to control emotions are considered as primary causes of frequent night fall
2. Males having sex or performing self-stimulation frequently can become prone to night fall
3. Side effects of medicines like tranquilizers, high blood pressure medicines, sedatives etc. can also increase the frequency of night falls
4. Lethargic lifestyle, diabetes, obesity, long sitting hours, low libido, stress, anxiety and depression affect the balance of hormones, weakening the nerves and causing night fall
How can it be controlled?
1. Exercises and jogging keep the body fit and taking a bath before sleeping relaxes the mind and aids in sleeping, therefore reducing the possibility of night fall
2. Urination right before going to bed can help in preventing nightfall
3. Having yogurt twice or thrice a day can reduce the chances of getting wet dreams
4. Refraining from watching porn or sexually explicit visuals before going to bed will keep nightfall at bay
5. Reading books before going to sleep can reduce the possibility of getting wet dreams. However, a book dealing with sensuous themes can make it worse. If you wish to discuss about any specific problem, you can consult a doctor and ask a free question.
Women who are in the habit of pleasuring themselves regularly are likely to enjoy better and satisfying love lives with their partners and are more self confident in nature. Women who indulge in masturbation enjoy a wealth of physical as well as mental health benefits.
Following are the benefits that you should be aware of:
Psychological or mental benefits of female masturbation:
- Helps you accept yourself: Accepting your sexuality is very important as it makes you aware of your body and makes you comfortable with it. It strengthens your love for yourself and increases your confidence. Paying attention to your sexual desires and fulfilling them yourselves is pleasurable as well as healthy. Masturbation can help you understand your physical needs and relieve stress associated to your personal and professional life.
- Improves mood and busts stress: Masturbation helps you get rid of depressed feelings and in turn positively affects your sexual life with your partner. It improves your mood and is considered an effective stress buster without any associated side effects.
Physical benefits of female masturbation:
- Prevents insomnia: Masturbation can be a natural way to prevent insomnia as there is a subsequent release of hormones and stress involved. During masturbation the hormone called dopamine, increases as the process reaches climax. After orgasm, the hormones called oxytocin are released along with endorphins which consequently help you to sleep better.
- Prevention of infections: Female masturbation is very important as it prevents cervical infections and also relieves you from infections in the urinary tract. Recent studies suggest that masturbation helps relieve you from pain caused by urinary tract infections. It lubricates the vagina and eliminates harmful bacteria from the cervix.
- Better cardiovascular health: Masturbating promotes improvement in cardiovascular health and also effectively lowers the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. It has been observed that women who masturbate regularly are less vulnerable to coronary heart disease and overall have a better immune system.